Tim Dorsey Quotes: top 54 famous quotes about Tim Dorsey

Tim Dorsey Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Tim Dorsey quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

It's been nonstop hallucinations. — Tim Dorsey

It's only socialism if the money goes down, not up. — Tim Dorsey

Life's too important to learn new clocks, so I unplug them all and get on with the plot. — Tim Dorsey

Gasparilla is Tampa's annual heritage festival, and Tampa's heritage appears to be about alcohol. — Tim Dorsey

I go over my own escape routes all the time. To survive in this state, you have to think like the French Resistance. — Tim Dorsey

I'm getting a diamond-hard boner just thinking about it. — Tim Dorsey

Serge nodded. 'And I respect your opinion because you smoke marijuana. You're chemically biased against violence and job applications. — Tim Dorsey

Remember the key to life," Serge shouted over the engine. "Always act like you deserve to be here. — Tim Dorsey

A prosthetic leg with a Willie Nelson bumper sticker washed ashore on the beach, which meant it was Florida.
Then it got weird. — Tim Dorsey

At work, he pretended every woman customer was a floozy with a hard-luck story who only needed a good slapping. — Tim Dorsey

Always walk away from a fight. Then ambush. — Tim Dorsey

Two preppies from the University of South Florida tried to hit on her with cocaine jokes. Sharon — Tim Dorsey

Don't you understand? The answer is inside each of you! Don't follow anyone else! Be your own leader! Lead yourselves! — Tim Dorsey

You've been brainwashed by whitey! — Tim Dorsey

Florida is a theme park," said Serge. "And the theme is weirdness. — Tim Dorsey

my life's motto: If you're not willing to invent cool-sounding bullshit about yourself, don't expect others to. — Tim Dorsey

Murder is such a charged word. You know how some people fixate and won't let things go? They're called cops. — Tim Dorsey

Couldn't be scathed. He was the crack in the system — Tim Dorsey

Don't make fun of people who are different. Unless they have more money and influence. Then you must — Tim Dorsey

The brain wasn't engineered to deal with that rarefied level of dumbness. — Tim Dorsey

Serge bowed his own head and closed his eyes God, please protect us from your followers. Amen — Tim Dorsey

fusing themselves into a single new genre about partying all night with gangsta bitches screwing cowboys to the nasty beat that leads to Jesus. — Tim Dorsey

Impossible' isn't in my vocabulary, said Serge. — Tim Dorsey

We're dealing with one of the worst kinds of killer." "What kind's that?" asked the lieutenant. "Patient. — Tim Dorsey

She knew my buttons and kept pressing them like an epileptic in an arcade. If it's any consolation, I gave her fair warning." "Oh, my God! — Tim Dorsey

Far too quickly we grow into jaded adults and lose our appreciation for silliness. — Tim Dorsey

as any roulette player can tell you, past performance has no bearing on future random outcome. So — Tim Dorsey

Tampa's Latin quarter, Ybor City. Ybor had been the Cuban-Italian core when Tampa was Cigar City USA. — Tim Dorsey

Courage is the ability to suspend the imagination. — Tim Dorsey

Yes Serge has killed a lot of people , but let's not overlook all of his other accomplishments. — Tim Dorsey

Those are the Big Three: clipboards, orange cones, elf suits. People don't question — Tim Dorsey

The common good," said Serge. "It's not hip. — Tim Dorsey

A fallow mind is a field of discontent. — John H. Cunningham

You never stop being Catholic. It's like the Mafia or Amway. — Tim Dorsey

The most exciting holidays are the ones where not everybody is going to make it. — Tim Dorsey

You can make a day of any size. — Mario Iezzoni

Worry is usually interest paid on a debt that never comes due. — Tim Dorsey

Almighty Father, please stop making jerks. Amen...Break! — Tim Dorsey

There, I'm an artist. Thousands of women on ecstasy now want to have three-ways with me. — Tim Dorsey

Boys can't be stewardesses, and girls can't be pilots. — Tim Dorsey

Belong to a religion? Doesn't bother me if you do, as long as it's not one that says to stop thinking and be loud about it. — Tim Dorsey

The whole key to social climbing is not having spinach in your teeth. — Tim Dorsey

Nothing builds confidence like live ammo. — Tim Dorsey

South Tampa is the polyp of land that dangles into Tampa Bay like a uvula. — Tim Dorsey

What's this whole Parrot Head phenomenon about, anyway?" asked Crease. "It's kind of like AA in reverse. — Tim Dorsey

You open a door and find a midget, and there's no way you can be in a bad mood. It's just not possible. — Tim Dorsey

"[Those] on fixed incomes are the nation's math elite." from pg.88 of Atomic Lobster. — Tim Dorsey

This was the beginning of Tampa," said Serge. "They built Fort Brooke here in 1823. — Tim Dorsey

Look forward to the wonderment of growing up, raising a family and driving by the gas station where the popular kids now work. — Tim Dorsey

This is trash state U.S.A. — Tim Dorsey

Relieve stress through hysterical screaming. — Tim Dorsey

I don't suffer from insanity. I can actually say that I enjoy it. — Tim Dorsey

There's a new dawn in America! It isn't enough just to disagree with your opponent anymore. True patriots hate their fucking guts! — Tim Dorsey

That, and the untended mental health problems. We have all these insane armed hobos coming from the Midwest, usually Ohio. Fuck Ohio. — Tim Dorsey