Tim Allen Quotes
Collection of top 62 famous quotes about Tim Allen
Tim Allen Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Tim Allen quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.
— Tim Allen
Dog's listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
— Tim Allen
When Tim Allen made The Santa Clause, I thought that was a delightful film. It took a modern sensibility but layered onto it a kind of sentiment.
— Leonard Maltin
Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.
— Tim Allen
I have a thing for tools.
— Tim Allen
Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.
— Tim Allen
Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
— Tim Allen
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
— Tim Allen
Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end.' Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.
— Tim Allen
Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don't want to do.
— Tim Allen
Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
— Tim Allen
Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
— Tim Allen
You are a sad, strage little man.
— Tim Allen
Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
— Tim Allen
I do a lot of family shows.
— Tim Allen
I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I've never gotten over it.
— Tim Allen
Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of Yeah, we might have to reboot.
— Tim Allen
I wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.)
— Tim Allen
Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.
— Tim Allen
All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.
— Tim Allen
I'm a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
— Tim Allen
I don't understand why it has to be either - or - either socialism or democracy. Why can't we combine things to get the best of each system?
— Tim Allen
Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.
— Tim Allen
Real men don't use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer's opinion on how to put this together.
— Tim Allen
Don Knotts was a really big influence, especially on the Steve Allen show. I mean, look at the guy, his entire life is in his face.
— Tim Conway
There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
— Tim Allen
While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
— Tim Allen
I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing.
— Tim Allen
My stepfather stepped in where no man would've stepped in - six kids, five of them boys - and that's heroic.
— Tim Allen
To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.
— Tim Allen
I'm a very bad student, but a great learner.
— Tim Allen
They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.
— Tim Allen
Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
— Tim Allen
Anyway, they used to beat up on Barry all the time. They called it roughhousing, which is like men calling lying bullshitting.
— Tim Allen
Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we're just the tallest people living here.
— Tim Allen
I am a thespian trapped in a man's body.
— Tim Allen