Tim Allen Quotes: top 62 famous quotes about Tim Allen

Tim Allen Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Tim Allen quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog. — Tim Allen

The ego is like a kid in the basement: It's best to keep him busy. — Tim Allen

Dog's listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you. — Tim Allen

When Tim Allen made The Santa Clause, I thought that was a delightful film. It took a modern sensibility but layered onto it a kind of sentiment. — Leonard Maltin

My dad's death reminds me of earthquakes - things that shake your foundation. — Tim Allen

Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing. — Tim Allen

I have a thing for tools. — Tim Allen

Be wary of listening to stories secondhand. — Tim Allen

If you don't decide where you're going, life will decide for you. — Tim Allen

I'm sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults. — Tim Allen

Comedy is the ultimate anarchist. — Tim Allen

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon. — Tim Allen

When somebody tells you they're not very smart, they're saying exactly the opposite. — Tim Allen

Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end.' Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me. — Tim Allen

Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them. — Tim Allen

Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don't want to do. — Tim Allen

For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church. — Tim Allen

Man is the only animal to borrow tools. — Tim Allen

What causes sibling rivalry?"
"Having more than one kid. — Tim Allen

Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families. — Tim Allen

I love doing logos. I've been a graphic artist all my life. — Tim Allen

You are a sad, strage little man. — Tim Allen

Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything. — Tim Allen

I do a lot of family shows. — Tim Allen

I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I've never gotten over it. — Tim Allen

I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver. — Tim Allen

In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship. — Tim Allen

Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of Yeah, we might have to reboot. — Tim Allen

I have an only child. She's so independent and good with adults. — Tim Allen

I'm actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats. — Tim Allen

I wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.) — Tim Allen

Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first. — Tim Allen

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. — Tim Allen

All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew. — Tim Allen

I'm a creative guy, artistically with graphics. — Tim Allen

My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart. — Tim Allen

I don't understand why it has to be either - or - either socialism or democracy. Why can't we combine things to get the best of each system? — Tim Allen

Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink. — Tim Allen

I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody's car. — Tim Allen

Real men don't use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer's opinion on how to put this together. — Tim Allen

If it ain't broke, you can probably still fix it. — Tim Allen

Don Knotts was a really big influence, especially on the Steve Allen show. I mean, look at the guy, his entire life is in his face. — Tim Conway

Convictions and beliefs! .. what do they have to do with religion! — Tim Allen

There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful. — Tim Allen

As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view. — Tim Allen

Men aren't men until they can get to Sears by themselves. — Tim Allen

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. — Tim Allen

I blend memories. I blend them into one that's funny. I exaggerate to clarify. — Tim Allen

I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing. — Tim Allen

Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver? — Tim Allen

My stepfather stepped in where no man would've stepped in - six kids, five of them boys - and that's heroic. — Tim Allen

A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. — Tim Allen

To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise. — Tim Allen

I'm a very bad student, but a great learner. — Tim Allen

But separate a man from his car - that's inhuman. — Tim Allen

If it doesn't say Binford on it, somebody else probably made it. — Tim Allen

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. — Tim Allen

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive. — Tim Allen

Anyway, they used to beat up on Barry all the time. They called it roughhousing, which is like men calling lying bullshitting. — Tim Allen

Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we're just the tallest people living here. — Tim Allen

You don't know what people are really like until they're under a lot of stress. — Tim Allen

I am a thespian trapped in a man's body. — Tim Allen