T.g.i.f. Funny Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about T.g.i.f. Funny

T.g.i.f. Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational T.g.i.f. Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. Exit signs? They're on their way out. — Tim Vine

I look crazy, but I'm not. And the funny thing is, that other people don't look crazy, but they are. — Eden Ahbez

I can't imagine actually singing on this show like I did on 'Felicity', but it would be kind of funny. — Amy Jo Johnson

I can't really say I'm batting badly. I'm not batting long enough to be batting badly — Greg Chappell

Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose me. I was just inherently funny when I was a kid. — Pauly Shore

I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough. — Rodney Dangerfield

Mary Decker Slaney, the world greatest front runner, I shouldn't be surprised to see her at the front — Ron Pickering

Woah, their gorgeous not so fast I haven't even catched your name or your number - Jaxson Evans — Brit Gosik

I really hate it when people want to kill me. It makes me think they don't want to be friends. - Raven from Blood of Prey — R.J. Dennis

My friend named his car. And I don't want to be judgemental, but ... what a dork. — Demetri Martin

You don't have paperwork," Savitri said. "You give it all to me." "Is it done?" I asked. "As far as you know, yes," Savitri said. — John Scalzi

If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable. — Darynda Jones

I mean, my age is just a number. So what if you were born in the era when they still used rotary phones and cassette tapes? I think it's cute. — T.S. Krupa

I could still box your ears."
"Nonsense," he scoffed. "You couldn't reach that high. — Anne Gracie

I'm so careless that now i don't even care if i cared about you. — Me

I am like a dead begonia hanging upside down because like a dead begonia I don't give a f**k. — David Levithan

And what have you been up to? she asked.
Oh, I don't know really, I said. Not much. Learning how to be a good loser. — Miriam Toews

So, funny story. There are fairies? In the Dark Woods. And I might have pissed off their king."
There was silence. Then, "Of course you did. — T.J. Klune

Crime writers, I've noticed, can be jumpy. They live in a world where there are murderers on the loose and they haven't been caught yet! — Sara Sheridan

My Dear McClellan, if you don't want to use the army I should like to borrow it for a while. Yours respectfully. — Abraham Lincoln

I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile. — Adam Sandler

I recently bought the box set of 'Doctor Who' and watched it back to back, Unfortunately I wasn't the one facing the TV! — Milton Jones

I want to do drama - no one really sees that. People just think I'm the funny guy and I can't do anything else, and that's just not true. — Mark Indelicato

It's funny when people say you have sex appeal or call you the next Brad Pitt. I just laugh. I'm not that. I don't want to be that. — Kellan Lutz

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a
bottle. THEY'RE ON TV! — Homer

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen. — Red Skelton

Maxon: "To be clear, no one agrees with you."
America: "To be clear, I don't care. — Kiera Cass

I can't see that it's wrong to give him a little legal experience before he goes out to practice law. — John F. Kennedy

I don't think of any sentence as a "one-liner", but I do pay attention to how people actually speak when they are being funny. Rhythm is key. — Lorrie Moore

In a man, I like funny guys. A guy who doesn't have a lot of therapy, who's mature. A man, not a boy. — Maura Tierney

I don't know if I was funny as a child, though I always thought my parents really enjoyed listening to me sing. — Pippa Evans

Isn't it weird that I'm getting all emotionable? — Jessica Simpson

I love nerds. Comic-Con junkies are the tastemakers of tomorrow. Isn't that funny? The tables have turned. — Kristen Bell

I haven't played Hedda Gabler yet, but maybe if I did I might find the funny bits. — Sophie Thompson

I call my dad 'Admiral Ass Hat,' he doesn't really think it's funny. — Jay Crownover

Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's. — Jonathan Tropper

I don't exaggerate - I just remember big. — Chi Chi Rodriguez

I don't have a desire to do reality. Because my truth is not what people are responding to. My truth is funny; I laugh with my husband every day. — Niecy Nash

I don't know if I was a funny kid. I would say I was a loud and weird kid. — Will Forte

Thank you leaf blowers, for making me look like the world's lamest Ghostbuster. I ain't afraid of no leaves. — Jimmy Fallon

I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where I was misplaced. — Ruby Wax

When I was 12, I snapped my arm in two. My wrist still has a funny bump because they didn't join it back together so great. — Jessica De Gouw

Um ... Mercer? Haven't seen you in nearly a month. I was expecting something like, 'Oh Cross, love of my heart, fire of my loins, how I've longed
— Rachel Hawkins

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't driving around on a bus and having a campfire kind of adding to the environment problem? — Will Smith

I like funny things, but I don't find myself particularly funny. — Chris Messina

Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy. — Chris Rock

I don't think of myself as funny - I don't fill up a room with my humor ... I would fail miserably as a stand-up comedian. — Steve Carell

Don't just tell me your brother is funny-show me what he says and does and let me decide whether I want to laugh. — Dennis G. Jerz

I'll drink your champagne. I'll drink every drop of it, I don't care if it kills me. — F Scott Fitzgerald

I see some people with glasses here, I trust people with glasses, don't you? But if you're wearing your glasses like this ... "Get away from 'em!" — Jim Gaffigan

I didn't just come in on a load of turnips! — Phillip C. McGraw

Be careful, though."
"Aren't I always?"
"No, I think the word for how you usually are is 'reckless. — Veronica Roth

The truth of the matter was no boy I knew lived up to the fantasy I'd created from the many books I'd read, and I wasn't going to settle. — Natasha Boyd

I don't like forcing comedy and people just trying to do things just to find a funny beat all the time. — Martin Lawrence

I know how to make adults laugh pretty well. I don't know if kids think I'm that funny. — Tom Bodett

Yoga pants often answer questions I didn't ask. — Tim Heaton

When I was growing up we didn't have a massive house and there were five women running around, so my dad and I had to stick together! — Louis Tomlinson

You catch more flies with honey, ever heard of that?" He shrugged. "I don't like flies. They're annoying." He grinned "I'd rather catch hell. — Heather Hildenbrand

If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny. — Don Rickles

I don't think I was anything short of ecstatic when I found out 'It's Kind of a Funny Story' would be premiering in Toronto. — Keir Gilchrist

I don't believe in magic. — J.K. Rowling

I don't know how long i could be a vet before i got bored and started shagging stuff. — Frankie Boyle

Last year we drove across the country ... We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip ... I don't remember what it was ... — Steven Wright

This wonderful, sexy, funny guy was completely psychotic. And I was still holding his hand.
Even more surprisingly, I still didn't want to let go. — Katherine Pine

Well, I don't know how to break this to you, but I think they might have noticed we broke into Gringotts. — J.K. Rowling

Good night. Don't let the boogeyman bite"

"Mindy, there is no boogeyman, "I said as I snuggled in to bed, " I hauled Carl in years ago. — Kate Danley

The idea that you can't be attractive and funny at the same time is something that I hate. — Emma Stone

I didn't believe in reincarnation in my past life, and I still don't. — Woody Allen

I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it. — Jimmy Carr

No, I don't want you to leave. I'm just grabbing your coat and nudging your toward the door for fun #AHOLE — A.O. Storm

I firmly believe that if you can't fool all of the people all of the time you should start breeding them for stupidity. - Weisshaupt — Dave Sim

So far, at least, I haven't found a way to tell my kind of stories without making them both sad and funny. — Todd Solondz

There's a fear that I don't think people are interested in my actual opinion. I just think people are interested in me being funny. — Nick Thune

I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot. — Oscar Wilde

I think it's funny how life can lead you down certain paths which you wouldn't have taken otherwise. — Giovanna Fletcher

I don't really have funny things to say about politics. I wish I did, but I don't. — Janeane Garofalo

The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear's huge jaws. I wouldn't even try that with my agent. — Bob Hope

Purple Haze all in my brain, lately things don't seem the same. Actin' funny but I don't know why. 'Scuse me while I kiss the sky. — Jimi Hendrix

Most of the people I admire, they usually smell funny and don't get out much. It's true. Most of them are either dead or not feeling well. — Tom Waits

I've never been bothered with my conduct. I've only been bothered by people that don't get it correct when they gossip about me. — Shannon L. Alder

I love practical jokes and humor. That there's frankly no joke that I don't think is funny. I love practical jokes, but I don't like being scared. — Mitt Romney

When I'm with my friends I'm funny, but I don't feel like I'm a funny clown. — Nora Dunn

I have a rule: I prefer anyone who doesn't try to kill me to anyone who does. I'm funny that way. — China Mieville

I don't know any sad songs. Except for the funny ones. — Richard Powers

I didn't realize I was in a Buddhist temple. — Al Gore

I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist. — Bo Burnham

Miguel: Merle? What kind of hick name is that? I wouldn't name my dog Merle. — The Walking Dead

A sportswriter once referred to him as our future president. With a name like Kevin, I don't know whether that's possible. — Barack Obama

I don't hold water with that theory — Ron Greenwood

I can't make out what they're saying; it sounds like: hiss, blah, she hiss, squeak. But the aunt appears to speak the native language. — Emma Chase

I didn't want to spoil the mood. This was probably the longest Daemon and I had ever spoken without some statement earning him the finger. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

I recommend you don't attend the wheat and chaff bonfire. — M.J. McGuire

You've got the holy trinity of what a girl wants, she said. Cute, smart, funny. I don't think you realize that. — Alex Bradley

I may not beleive in God, but I believe in guilt and no one wants to dick around with eternity, even if it isn't there. — Jonathan Tropper

I didn't grow up identifying with beauty. I grew up thinking I could be smart and funny - those are the things I got feedback on. — Lauren Graham

I hate arrows. They try to tell me which direction to go. It's like "I ain't going that way, line with two thirds of a triangle on the end!" — Mitch Hedberg

I love people; it's mankind I can't stand. — Charles M. Schulz

Why it's simply impassible!
Alice: Why, don't you mean impossible?
Door: No, I do mean impassible. (chuckles) Nothing's impossible! — Lewis Carroll

while there's a lot that I don't know about the world, I do know that kids have a funny way of helping you keep things in perspective. — Nicholas Sparks

If I didn't have some kind of education, then I wouldn't be able to count my money. — Missy Elliot