Spike Milligan Quotes: top 74 famous quotes about Spike Milligan

Spike Milligan Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Spike Milligan quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I told you I was sick. — Spike Milligan

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. — Spike Milligan

There are holes in the sky
Where the rain gets in,
But they're ever so small
That's why rain is thin. — Spike Milligan

A sure cure for seasickness is to stand underneath a tree. — Spike Milligan

They're all the rage, Cab Calloway wears one. — Spike Milligan

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard. — Spike Milligan

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string. — Spike Milligan

Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part. — Spike Milligan

Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy. — Spike Milligan

(On his gravestone): "I told you I was ill". — Spike Milligan

I'm a hero wid coward's legs, I'm a hero from the waist up. — Spike Milligan

Author, author, did you write these legs?( The Milligan- Puckoon — Spike Milligan

The most difficult book I have ever read was a manual on the use of iron bangles by A.J. Thompson. — Spike Milligan

Pakistani Dalek: Put him in the cur-ry — Spike Milligan

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order. — Spike Milligan

Aristocrats have heirs, the poor have children, and the rest keep dogs. — Spike Milligan

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke. — Spike Milligan

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it. — Spike Milligan

God made nightButMan made darkness. — Spike Milligan

The clock in the church tower said 4.32, as it had done for three hundred years. It was right once a day and that was better than no clock at all. — Spike Milligan

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven. — Spike Milligan

My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic. — Spike Milligan

I told you I was ill. (On Millian's headstone) — Spike Milligan

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
— Spike Milligan

A family man from Siberia
As a father was very inferior
But one operation
Revised the situation
And now he's Mother Superior — Spike Milligan

Money can't buy you friends, but you do get a better class of enemy. — Spike Milligan

I have a body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge. — Spike Milligan

If you kill me, I promise you - you will never take me alive. — Spike Milligan

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse — Spike Milligan

I can speak Esperanto like a native. — Spike Milligan

I'm a hero with coward's legs. — Spike Milligan

Professor Milligan will now play his tree! The composition is in A Minor, the tree is in A garden. — Spike Milligan

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion. — Spike Milligan

If I don't eat soon, I'll die of hunger; and if I die, I won't eat soon. — Spike Milligan

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. — Spike Milligan

If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it. — Spike Milligan

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't. — Spike Milligan

Everybody has to be somewhere! — Spike Milligan

There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart. — Spike Milligan

Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
I'll draw a sketch of thee.
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B? — Spike Milligan

Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A — Spike Milligan

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex. — Spike Milligan

A lot of learning canbe a little thing. — Spike Milligan

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. — Spike Milligan

I'm Irish. We think sideways — Spike Milligan

I told you I was ill. (On his headstone) — Spike Milligan

Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light — Spike Milligan

I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much. — Spike Milligan

General: Where are you from? Spike: London. General: Which part? Spike: ... Well, all of me. — Spike Milligan

My sister Laura's bigger than me
And lifts me up quite easily.
I can't lift her, I've tried and tried;
She must have something heavy inside. — Spike Milligan

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy. — Spike Milligan

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong! — Spike Milligan

After Puckoon I swore I'd never write another book. This is it — Spike Milligan

If a robin redbreast in a cage
Puts all heaven in a rage,
How feels heaven when
Dies the billionth battery hen? — Spike Milligan

We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away. — Spike Milligan

It's all in the mind, you know. — Spike Milligan

Therec all the rage, Cab Calaway wears one. — Spike Milligan

With a roof over his head he had ceased to work, living off his [war] pension and his wits, both hopelessly inadequate. — Spike Milligan

Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse. — Spike Milligan

One day the "Don't Knows" will get in and then where will we be? — Spike Milligan

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? — Spike Milligan

Patience, thought Milligan, that word was invented by dull buggers who couldn't think quick enough. — Spike Milligan

Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death. — Spike Milligan

To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don't want you singing at my funeral. — Spike Milligan

My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ! — Spike Milligan

Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one. — Spike Milligan

In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife. — Spike Milligan

In the human race today, you came last. — Spike Milligan

A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush — Spike Milligan

Education isn't everything, for a start it isn't an elephant — Spike Milligan

We don't have anything planned, so nothing can go wrong. — Spike Milligan

My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic. — Spike Milligan

Policemen are numbered in case they get lost. — Spike Milligan

R.I.P.
Tom Conlon O'Rourke.
Not Dead, just Sleeping. — Spike Milligan