Some Funny Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Some Funny

Some Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Some Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I can't imagine the scientists wanting me to walk into the lab and start fiddling around with some big bowl of electrons they had out. — Jim Benton

I don't think she liked being called a slut, I don't know why ... some women are just funny like that. — Cecelia Ahern

I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off! — Henny Youngman

I think it would be difficult to get drunk in China. I tried to drink some beer with chop sticks and it took me a whole day to finish one can. — Jerry Snider

Right now my favorite TV show - because it's too close to home - is 'My Name Is Earl.' That show kills me. There's some funny stuff in there. — Rodney Atkins

It was as if when he left he'd taken some of the screws that held her together and now all she could do was walk around all wonky and falling apart — Virginia Macgregor

What did you think of him?" Cade asked.
"Give me some credit," Zach said. "Guy's more full of shit than a duck pond. — Christopher Farnsworth

You'll be fine, just some minor burns and hypothermia, which was kind of hard to explain. — Kiersten White

After a time he fell asleep, and some unsteady fairies had to climb over him on their way home from an orgy. — J.M. Barrie

I guess the breakfast burritos are going to have some extra protein in the morning. — Jon S. Lewis

Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony. — Johnny Carson

Daryl Dixon: You got some balls for a Chinaman.
Glenn: I'm Korean.
Daryl Dixon: Whatever. — The Walking Dead

I am a gay writer, but I am also a Scottish writer and some days a lazy writer, or a funny writer. Being gay is just a part of who I am. — Damian Barr

Some actors try to play parts and do things they can't do. Being funny is one of them. Being funny's hard. — Tom Sizemore

There are some things you just don't say...not even in a school! — X

The people from 'The State' are close friends, but also some of the most incredibly funny people I know. — Joe Lo Truglio

Good plan," Freddy was saying. "Let's get some decent sleep. Tomorrow we can shake our gravy asses into town and do some sluething. — Ali Sparkes

On some level in acting, what you're trying to find is truth, because when it's true is when it's also funny. — David Hyde Pierce

Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK. — Steven Wright

I think Lafayette wants to rap in French now. I have to go learn some French.
Damn it, Lafayette — Lin-Manuel Miranda

While I'm fixing up this idiot. I want you to get some sleep ... and tell Amano that if he bothers you, I'll break his other leg. — Julie Kagawa

Funny how
time goes on,
things change,
and yet,
some things stay
exactly the same. — Lisa Schroeder

Greyhound Bus Lines motto: "We Stop For Some Damn Thing Every 200 Yards." — Dave Barry

Have they built cities on the moon?" another boy asked hopefully.
"We left some garbage and a flag there in the sixties, but thats about it. — Ransom Riggs

Now as through this world I ramble, I see lots of funny men, Some rob you with a six gun, And some with a fountain pen. — Woody Guthrie

I saw a want ad. "light housekeeping." They said "Here, change this bulb." I said "I'll need some friends." — Steven Wright

The simile has to match the tone of its surroundings and has to be like a little joke. Writing a simile that isn't funny on some level is quite hard. — Ned Beauman

But some jokes are hilarious until they become true and they're not so funny anymore. — Jonathan Dunne

Mick Jagger's lips' so big, black people be going, "You got some big-ass lips!" — Eddie Murphy

Funny how days are like that. Some days start off rubbish and get worse as they go on, others start well and get better. — Chris Higgins

Cockblocked by the phone. Wanna bet it's Focus On The Family or some Satanic organization like? — Andrea Speed

You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living. — Jim Norton

What's a dementor?"
I mean, I can't even. "Nora, you are no longer my sister."
"So it's some Harry Potter thing," she says. — Becky Albertalli

Some people are born to fandom, others have fandom thrust upon them. — Nenia Campbell

Oh, doctor. I think I'm sick I need some penis-cilin. I fake cough again into my hand. — S.K. Logsdon

I got an E-Trade account. Turns out I can turn $1,000 into $420 in less than a week. Sure, I had to pay some fees ... — Mike Birbiglia

I feel cheesy when I see 'Silver Spoons.' Some of it was funny, but some of it was just cheese! My kids love it, but I look at it and cringe. — Ricky Schroder

Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term. — Patton Oswalt

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. — Robert Orben

I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself. — Mark Twain

Unbeknown to us, some of the people who we hope are missing us wherever they are do miss us; some miss someone else; and some are dead. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

We're wasting time here. I've got a sweet ass to paddle. Some legs to spread ... — Starla Kaye

I see some people with glasses here, I trust people with glasses, don't you? But if you're wearing your glasses like this ... "Get away from 'em!" — Jim Gaffigan

I spilled some vodka on the carpet, and I vacuumed it up, and the vacuum got drunk. I had to take the Hoover to detox. — Mitch Hedberg

Writing a book has about it some of the anxiety of telling a joke and having to wait several years to know whether or not it was funny. — Alain De Botton

Isn't it funny the way some combinations of words can give you
almost apart from their meaning
a thrill like music? — C.S. Lewis

There are a lot of funny people and a lot of unfunny people. Some of them are women and some of them are dudes. — Lake Bell

On Friday night, I was reading my new book, but my brain got tired, so I decided to watch some television instead. — Stephen Chbosky

Life has played some funny tricks on me and taken me on a wild ride. How did I ever get into this wonderful mess that is my life? — Bo Derek

I take my food very seriously. Whenever I hear that bell, I know Mrs. Norris is hankerin' for some spam. — Sandy Ward Bell

The Padres are really swinging some hot hats tonight! — Jerry Coleman

Some people are amazed at my brain, but really it's nothing. — Gracie Allen

I have to return some videotapes — Bret Easton Ellis

I like funny guys and those, for some reason, tend to be nerdy guys. — Megan Fox

I find it very easy playing Bond. I think he's hilarious. He gets himself into some extraordinarily funny situations. — Daniel Craig

I've seen all the Judd Apatow movies, and I'd love to have a really funny little part in one of them some day. — Miranda Cosgrove

I don't have to be bam, bam, bam, funny when I'm working. I can tell stories, and there's some funny in them. — Whoopi Goldberg

Some people in England only have their wheelie bins collected once a fortnight. Their suffering is unimaginable. — Russell Howard

There was the smell of old books, a smell that has a way of making all libraries seem the same. Some say that smell is asbestos. — Scott Douglas

Stop hiding condoms in my stuff. It's like some twisted Easter egg hunt in there. — Alyxandra Harvey

For some reason and I don't know why, but I don't think that I'm funny in California. So I always want to do my movies east somewhere. — Kevin James

I didn't want to spoil the mood. This was probably the longest Daemon and I had ever spoken without some statement earning him the finger. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

My fans are so funny, they make me laugh so much. I've got some really, really, funny, clever fans. — Ellie Goulding

Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? What are you going to do next, offer me some candy? — Hannah Harrington

I write in my own journal when something extraordinary or funny happens. And there's some nice imagery in there. I don't think of what to do with it. — Annie Dillard

Huge Jackman has divorced his wife and happened upon my picture in some old article and decided that I'm the woman for him?

~ Susan — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes. — Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach

There are some situations from which one can only escape by acting like a devil or a lunatic. — George Orwell

Our memories, they can be inviting. But some are altogether, mighty frightening. — Gwen Stefani

At some point, some insect has had sex with a leaf. — Karl Pilkington

Situated in some nebulous distance I do what I do so that the universal balance of which I am a part may remain a balance. — Antonio Porchia

I wish happiness was some edible food easily available in stores... Oh wait, it is. — Hk

She has to agree to have me. It could take some time, but I'm confident I can trick her into it. — Robyn Carr

I hate trying to analyze comedy in some deep way. If it gets laughs, it's funny. — Rachel Dratch

Time is a funny thing. It can take some people a whole lifetime before they realize they've been playing tug-of-war all by themselves. — Karen White

If I didn't have some kind of education, then I wouldn't be able to count my money. — Missy Elliot

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president. — Hillary Rodham Clinton

Some things in life are certain; death, taxes, and that your family will piss you off. — Melanie Finn

Allow me to put the record straight. I am forty-six and have been for some years past. — Erica Jong

Tourists - have some fun with New york's hard-boiled cabbies. When you get to your destination, say to your driver, "Pay? I was hitchhiking." — David Letterman

Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades. — Jim Norton

Most people are dead. Hitler. Ray Charles. Some other guys. But mostly those two. — Louis C.K.

Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day. — Seth MacFarlane

I can't imagine what kind of problem Senna has. I imagine it must be some sort of grip problem. — Murray Walker

You know, there are just some things you never expect to face even on this job. A flying primate that shoots fire out its nose is one of them. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

When human judgment and big data intersect there are some funny things that happen. — Nate Silver

So I need to lay down some ground rules."
"Rules for the use of the ground?" He's gazing out the window. "Am I still allowed to step on it? — Eva Morgan

Some attempts at translating from one language into another one can be pretty funny if the translators don't know what they're doing. — Lori Peckham

Summer was going to kill her. Whenever Love did tell Jacorey, that was going to be some funny shit. Rain — A'Zayler

Some days you were the bitch and some days you were shit that came out of the bitch's toy poodle. Today was one of those days I was the latter. — Stacey Marie Brown

If I find something funny and make an older woman laugh, I love that for some reason. — Nathan Fielder

I could use all the confidence I could get. If possible, I would steal some from the egotistical Chase. He had more than enough to spare. — J.L. Weil

Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks. — Bauvard

Peter also uses his wig as a cereal bowl ... He'll some times have some, like, Top Ramen in it. — Robert Pattinson

You know how some people get sun-kissed, well i got sun bitch slapped — Ryan Oliveira

Women are very funny. Some of the funniest people I can think of are women. — Rachel Bloom

I'd rather have rabies than be in love."
"Why?"
"Because at least you can get over rabies with some shots. — Shelly Laurenston

Some names to look forward to - perhaps in the future — David Coleman

When you start explaining why something's funny or finding a formula for it I think it loses some of its funniness. — Betty White

Thanks to photography, some memories overstay their welcome. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana