Seinfeld Funny Quotes
Collection of top 23 famous quotes about Seinfeld Funny
Seinfeld Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Seinfeld Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I didn't know every day I would be discussing the tone of my voice with my wife. I thought it was a marriage. Apparently, it's a musical.
— Jerry Seinfeld
Jary, Garge, Elane and Daved Pady emerge from the Lamborgini Veneno like sad clown's from the SICKEST clown car ever.
— Seinfeld 2000
Whores perform the same function as priests, but far more thoroughly.
— Robert A. Heinlein
It's hard to write music for specific things, because I'm always writing just to write.
— Kris Allen
Funny is the world I live in. You're funny, I'm interested. You're not funny, I'm not interested.
— Jerry Seinfeld
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
— Jerry Seinfeld
I don't need you to be funny. I don't want to be entertained.
— Jerry Seinfeld
Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.
— Jerry Seinfeld
Why would anybody want a friend?
— Jerry Seinfeld
When everybody thinks alike, nobody thinks.
— Bill Walton
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
— Jerry Seinfeld
When you compromise your life, you compromise unhappiness.
— Dee Dee Artner
I think you should know that real-life white people are not all as funny as the ones on 'Seinfeld'.
— Aaron McGruder
Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.
— Jerry Seinfeld
I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.
— Jerry Seinfeld
The big advantage of a book is that it's very easy to rewind. Close it and you're right back at the beginning.
— Jerry Seinfeld
Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers.
— Jerry Seinfeld