Sarcastic Humor Quotes
Collection of top 87 famous quotes about Sarcastic Humor
Sarcastic Humor Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Sarcastic Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
No, Paige. I am trying to help you.""Go to hell."
"I already exist on a level of hell."
"Exist on one that isn't near mine. — Samantha Shannon
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
— Rita Rudner
You're a big, lovable teddy bear.
— Michael Grant
I was speechless. Which is, as you know, very rare.
— James Patterson
Just for the record the weather today is slightly sarcastic, with a good chance of A. indifference and B. disinterest in what the critics say.
— Panic At The Disco
Thought she said to leave the door open.""It is. It's cracked. That's Open. — Jennifer L. Armentrout
Because I'm a glutton for punishment, I guess. Or because I'm the cat curiosity is scheduled to kill in approximately six hours.
— Lindsey Ouimet
Does this mean we can eat pie today?" Easton asked. Riley let out a snorting laugh. "I know someone who will be." Nice.
— Erin McCarthy
It's like a jolt of electricity, but worse.
— Lee Davidson
...but, dear me, let us be elegant or die.
— Louisa May Alcott
I'd venture to guess that a list of things you know nothing about could fill volumes.
— Heidi Schulz
I was debating on jumping and ending my despair over losing my best friend, but I decided to call you instead.
— Holly Hood
I don't usually tell people to go to hell, but when I do I'm happy to give directions.
— Ant Richards
Unsettling, like seeing Stalin on a skateboard.
— David Nicholls
So, you're telling me the zoo commissioned you to make a zombie panda in order to avoid a potential international incident.
— Lish McBride
Do you know what happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your wife back, your dog back and your job back.
— Richard Belzer
God is always willing to give you the best life possible. If you change your mind at any time you are free to go back to enjoying hell.
— Shannon L. Alder
You have delighted us long enough.
— Jane Austen
Are you really speechless or has the vodka finally impaired your ability to function like a normal human?
— Heidi McLaughlin
When friends become overfriendly - smell fish!
— Adhish Mazumder
In every day and in every way, we're all that much closer to death.
— Charles Atkins
One time, I went to a restaurant and I asked the waiter for some food for thought. He left, came back, and tried shoving a sirloin in my ear.
— Travis J. Dahnke
I know the power of speech. I don't talk much.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
We are the generation of Social Media, Our biggest Revolution is a Tweet of 141 Characters.
— Sandra Chami Kassis
I feel your scorn, and I accept it.
— Jon Stewart
Don't waste yer' breath kid. Explainin' anything to that one? It's like tryin' ta' slap the dumb off a retard ... -George Foster
— Shawn Durnin
I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.
— Groucho Marx
I've lived my life devoid of the whole teenage angst for so long, I'm not sure I can handle all this. I'm not built dor it.
— Lindsey Ouimet
Nobody should have to die to a crappy soundtrack
— James R Tuck
My cock actually sort of staggers like a punch-drunk boxer who doesn't know when to stay down.
— Alexis Hall
Colombian humor is very black, very sarcastic.
— Barbet Schroeder
The 100% American is 99% idiot.
— George Bernard Shaw
Kidnapped by a vampire, death by a squid. How tragic.
— Abigail Gibbs
There were so many viciously sarcastic ways to respond, Jaden's brain was temporarily paralyzed due to witty comeback overload.
— Courtney Kirchoff
The TARDIS can look like whatever it wants.
— Mora Early
I don't spend money on books. I write them myself.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
Educational system in America is not as good as in China. You may be an idiot. It is hard to tell with you white people.
— Kate Danley
Writers don't get mad they get even in their novels.
— Candace C. Bowen
What is it with people wanting to kill me lately? I'm starting to take it personally.
— Heather R. Blair
You're one of those people who fall off a tree and never quite reach the ground.
— Carlos Ruiz Zafon
We went to Mexico, had some tequlia, eloped with a pair of drug smugglers, and took part-time jobs as exotic dancers. You know, same old, same old.
— Jennifer Lynn Barnes
I really have to befriend this asshole?" I whispered harshly to Dilmore "Yep." "Well thanks Dilmore this is going to turn out swell. — Charon Lloyd-Roberts
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
— Groucho Marx
Miss Green can call a turd a rose if she wants, but that don't mean people's going to be lining up to smell it.
— K. Martin Beckner
Just because it looks like a leprechaun and talks like a leprechaun, it doesn't mean it can't act like the little fucking demon it is.
— N.L. Gervasio
Jaime, dear, forgive me, but I don't think you are man enough to take care of my Cass. She's a special kind of difficult.
— Mercy Celeste
...and yes that was meant to be interpreted in a sarcastic bubblegum tone complete with clapping and jazz hands.
— K.R. Grace
I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.
— Sarah Rees Brennan
Watch it, buster. There's only room for one sarcastic malcontent in this relationship.
— Christine Warren
My life is worth living said the Scorpion and showed his sting.
— Kristian Goldmund Aumann
It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half.
— Jess C. Scott
Are you fighting evil tonight? ... Then you are doing the Lord's work. Shut the fuck up.
— James R Tuck
Half is better than none unless it be of a wit.
— Susan Lendroth
Never trust your colleagues. Work politics are founded by them.
— Adhish Mazumder
I didn't intend it to come out sarcastically, but I guess that's just where my tone of voice automatically goes these days.
— M.A. George
Doubt you'd find anyone as dashingly charming as me
— Veronica Purcell
You're a big help, Mr. I Read So Many Books.
— Laura Ruby
Christians rejected the need for proof to support belief in God, yet dismissed proof altogether when it was there.
— Kira Peikoff
I sort of fell.""Percy! Six hundred and thirty feet? — Rick Riordan
I wish I could say I'm low maintenance, but I like some of the finer things in life ... like a toothbrush.
— M.A. George
You're starting to sound like one of those songs that DJ's play when they wanna clear out the dancefloor.
— Alex Bergauer
No one plows the field just by thinking about it.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
I'm a sarcastic person. I learn through humor.
— Rachel Maddow
As far as bad ideas went, this stole the prize.
— Julia Quinn
Though he'd never know for sure what had happened to them, his mind was super talented at imagining the absolute worst.
— James Dashner
It's not that we have more patience as we grow older, it's just that we're too tired to care about all the pointless drama
— Karen Gibbs
If Sam told him, I'd have to kill Sam. Since I didn't have the stomach for outright murder, I'd break his coffee maker.
— Melissa Haag
I appreciate thieves who do their research, but at least you recognize worth when you see it.
— M.L. LeGette
Whoosh! went the bluebird of sarcasm, zooming miles above Dale's head.
— Sarah Rees Brennan
Take care with the words you speak, it's best to keep them sweet..... because you never know when you might have to eat them!
— Karen Gibbs
Carpe Diem, just remember that we're partying on the Titanic.
— Will McIntosh
