Religious Humor Quotes: top 46 famous quotes about Religious Humor

Religious Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Religious Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

We need not invite the Devil to our table; he is too ready to come without being asked. The air all about us is filled with demons ... — Martin Luther

Prayer works (unless God has a different plan for you, that is different than what you want). Pray now. It works best if God is undecided. — Juanita Ray

We know, on the authority of Moses, that longer than six thousand years the world did not exist. — Martin Luther

I mean, wha comfort does pretendin to be a Buddhist or wharrever give him? What's wrong with pretendin to be a Catholic like the rest of us? — Trevor Byrne

The Jews are returning to their land of unbelief. They are spiritually blind and desperately in need of their Messiah and Savior. — Jerry Falwell

Religious humor is not really my area, so I probably wouldn't do anything about that, or politics or something. — Chris Lilley

Religious fasting is the best way to cure an anorexic's spirit: in heaven her condition will be normal. — Bauvard

How often have not the demons called 'Nix,' drawn women and girls into the water, and there had commerce with them, with fearful consequences. — Martin Luther

Our bodies are always exposed to Satan. The maladies I suffer are not natural, but Devil's spells. — Martin Luther

If God wanted a world filled with saints, He never would have created adolescence. — Susan Beth Pfeffer

Jimmie says our socks and clothes are very religious because they are so holey — Christopher Paul Curtis

When I was a child there were many witches, and they bewitched both cattle and men, especially children. — Martin Luther

If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I'll have to risk it. — Andy Weir

My profanity has a certain religious flavor that can only be learned through a lifetime of Catholic education. — Emma Chase

In many countries there are particular places to which devils more especially resort. In Prussia there is an infinite number of evil spirits. — Martin Luther

I almost feel like throwing Jimmy into the stove, as the priest in Kulenberg did. — Martin Luther

The winds are nothing else but good or bad spirits. Hark! how the Devil is puffing and blowing ... — Martin Luther

Many demons are in woods, in waters, in wildernesses, and in dark poolly places ready to hurt ... people. — Martin Luther

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. — Billy Sunday

We are at fault for not slaying the Jews. — Martin Luther

There is no rustic so rude but that, if he dreams or fancies anything, it must be the whisper of the Holy Ghost, and he himself a prophet. — Martin Luther

I like one hair, tuna fish, the smell of rain and things that are pink. I hate pimples, baked potatoes, when my mother's mad, and religious holidays. — Judy Blume

The Devil ... clutched hold of the miserable young man ... and flew off with him through the ceiling, since which time nothing has been heard of him. — Martin Luther

We may well lie with what seems to be a woman of flesh and blood, and yet all the time it is only a devil in the shape of a woman. — Martin Luther

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, Jesus! This cup is expensive! — Conan O'Brien

We should throw the Epistle of James out of this school ... — Martin Luther

I'm going to tell Mrs. Burt that my mom doesn't want me to do anything that might rupture my hymen," Eleanor said. "For religious reasons. — Rainbow Rowell

The days of discriminating against religious institutions simply because they are religious must come to an end. — George W. Bush

Religious ceremonies are of paramount importance in Bali ( an island, don't forget, with seven unpredictable volcanoes on it-you would pray, too). — Elizabeth Gilbert

If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy. — Robert Fulghum

People have sex, even the religious ones. Yet, when sex is transferred into words, suddenly it's dirty, vulgar, immoral, trashy. Funny huh? — Hector Himeros

I have a great mind to believe in Christianity for the mere pleasure of fancying I may be damned. — George Gordon Byron

When you're given the gift of truth, you spend a lot of time trying to tone it down because it is already offensive enough. — Shannon L. Alder

What shall we do with ... the Jews? ... their homes also should be razed and destroyed. — Martin Luther

The fact that the biblical book Hebrews is not an epistle of St Paul, or of any other apostle, is proved by what it says in chapter two ... — Martin Luther

Two devils rose from the water, and flew off through the air, crying, 'Oh, oh, oh!' and turning one over another, in sportive mockery ... — Martin Luther

Once again, we come to the holiday season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. — Dave Barry

We will allow private and religious groups to compete to provide services in every federal, state and local social program. — George W. Bush

He hadn't struck her as particularly religious unless she counted the number of times he'd called out to Jesus when he'd been deep inside her. — Amy Andrews

This is probably as bad a day as the court has had on social issues since "Roe v Wade." — Jerry Falwell

Demons live in many lands, but particularly in Prussia. — Martin Luther

One day all the racists and religious extremists in this world will wake up and realize that they are living in a 60's movie. — Thisuri Wanniarachchi

I maintain that some Jew wrote it who probably heard about Christian people but never encountered any. — Martin Luther

To be a Christian, you must pluck out the eye of reason. — Martin Luther

Any civilization where the main symbol of religious veneration is a tool of execution is a bad place to have children. — Charles Stross

See? This is why I'm not religious. I couldn't possibly keep my mouth shut long enough to get along with everyone else. — Jim Butcher