Relationships Funny Quotes
Collection of top 63 famous quotes about Relationships Funny
Relationships Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Relationships Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I finally got up around noon, after having decided that, as far as monogamous relationships go, I could probably do worse than marrying my bed.
— Robyn Schneider
I always tell people it's funny that they think I'm a relationship expert because my two books are about getting out of relationships.
— Greg Behrendt
Love is a damagemade to the heart,
violence,
fate thats written,
Changeable by distance,
Breakable by time ... ! — Honey Father
I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am!
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
I see uncool people!
— Tonya Hurley
I've been fighting to be who I am all my life. What's the point of being who I am, if I can't have the person who was worth all the fighting for?
— Stephanie Lennox
In real life, couples bond and war over a million different things. The causes of divorce are like beautiful, unique snowflakes.
— Howard Mittelmark
Me Tarz-tosterone; You Estro-Jane
— Tony Cleaver
You're going to be trouble, aren't you?""Not if you give me everything I want."
"We'll see. — Zoe Forward
Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long.Good things come to those who wait. — Jess C. Scott
I had a dream about you last night. The champagne was non-alcoholic. You didn't notice, and laughed at my jokes anyway.
— Michael Summers
I had a dream about you last night. We stopped telling each other about our dreams when we realized we were still inside them.
— Michael Summers
If you're trapped in the dream of the Other, you're fucked.
— Gilles Deleuze
I had a dream about you last night ... I was a brick and you were a blanket. Damn that improbability drive.
— Nicole McKay
I love you because you loved me first. Yet you love me, saying I loved you first. Funny, our love thrives believing the other person started it.
— Richelle E. Goodrich
At this moment, I know that the answer has to be yes. I am defeated. By my own father. How Darth Vader.
— Denis Markell
I had a dream about you last night. It wasn't until after you sold me the talking car, I realized you were the world's best ventriloquist.
— Michael Summers
It's all chop-change chop-change with you. Either go out with me and treat me nicely, or leave me alone. As I say, I am not interested in fuckwittage.
— Helen Fielding
Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband's murder.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
We made love like green is blue. That's because we were only half into it, though for the record I was the blue and she was the disinterested yellow.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
You know you've reached the end of a relationship: when your lover now demands that your jokes be funny before they laugh.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
I felt like an animal, and animals don't know sin, do they?
— Jess C. Scott
Let me be clear: I don't want to make love to a mannequin - I want to make love like a mannequin. Oh, if only I were that animated in bed.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
I had a dream about you last night ... Well I say dream I mean nightmare ... you were a Yankee fan.
— Nicole McKay
To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
You can't make a woman love you. Not even with duct tape.
— J. Richard Singleton
Are you real?" Stupid. Of course he's real."Yes, Julie. I'm not the mystical man from your dreams. — Caroline George
I had a dream about you last night. We watched pornography together, but purely for the storyline.
— Michael Summers
I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Military Wives - Sacrificing Months of Sex for the Country.
— Aditi Mathur Kumar
I had a dream about you last night ... you were a giant slinky and I watched you fall down the stairs.
— Amy Summers
I see that even as the world plunges into darkness and peril, you two stand around discussing your love lives. Teenagers.
— Cassandra Clare
Love is bread and water to the soul. My relationships are quite soggy.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
It's funny how many ways there are to hurt people. As many ways to hurt as there are species of flower. Whole bouquets of hurt.
— Joshua Gaylord
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
— Zsa Zsa Gabor
I'd rather have rabies than be in love.""Why?"
"Because at least you can get over rabies with some shots. — Shelly Laurenston
I want you to lie to me just as sweetly as you know how for the rest of my life.
— F Scott Fitzgerald
I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I'd better go drown myself before I freeze to death.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
The manlier you are, the harder it is to understand what a woman wants: there is not a hint of female brain in you.
— Criss Jami
Sometimes you are the peanut to my butter and sometimes you are those annoying crumbs left over when someone makes toast.
— Brenda Lochinger
Because friendship is about laughing when the other person is joking to make you feel better. Even if you don't find her joke all that funny.
— Padma Venkatraman
Tip#27Kiss a girl if you're a female,
If you're a single male kiss a Guy
(Idea)
It's fun to offend society ~ — Hazel Cartwright
Women who seek advice from single women about getting a man is like asking a homeless man how to be rich.
— Habeeb Akande
I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Us is my favorite people.
— Rick Riordan
I didn't dream about you last night. I woke up in fear.
— Michael Summers