Red Skelton Quotes: top 45 famous quotes about Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Red Skelton quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Red Skelton Quotes By Lauren M. Bloom: Comedian Red Skelton once defined Congress as "bingo

Comedian Red Skelton once defined Congress as "bingo with billions." These days, it's more like Russian roulette. — Lauren M. Bloom

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: I only come to life when there are

I only come to life when there are people watching. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: There are three signs of old age: loss

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: Mom used to say I didn't run away

Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: Old age is when broadness of the mind

Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: She got a mud pack and looked great

She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: All men make mistakes, but married men find

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: Television: The device that brings into your living

Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done

I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: I personally believe we were put here to

I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery -

Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins

I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: Heard about the young deaf boy who used

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: I have a sixth sense, but not the

I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: I asked my wife where she wanted to

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: Any kid will run any errand for you,

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of

Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: I know my limit. I just keep passing

I know my limit. I just keep passing out before I reach it. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and

Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: I don't hate my enemies. After all, I

I don't hate my enemies. After all, I made 'em. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: His death was the first time that Ed

His death was the first time that Ed Wynn ever made anyone sad. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: I left home because I was hungry.

I left home because I was hungry. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: Congress: Bingo with billions.

Congress: Bingo with billions. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: I was a sober as the next guy.

I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: It proves what they say, give the public

It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: I don't need glasses, but I've just reached

I don't need glasses, but I've just reached the age where curiosity is greater than vanity. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: I won't mind dying if I can tell

I won't mind dying if I can tell St. Peter a joke he hasn't heard. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Gabriel Iglesias: Make sure you're doing impressions of people that

Make sure you're doing impressions of people that are still relevant, and that everyone knows. Red Skelton impressions are a little outdated. — Gabriel Iglesias

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: Exercise? I get it on the golf course.

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: I married Miss Right. I just didn't know

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: You know, last night it was so cold

You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Bernie Mac: Why I was so intrigued with Red Skelton

Why I was so intrigued with Red Skelton was because he was able to make you cry and laugh and the same time. That was power. — Bernie Mac

Red Skelton Quotes By Douglas Wissing: To imitate a lunkhead without malice or derision

To imitate a lunkhead without malice or derision is quite a feat - and Red Skelton brings it off everytime. - Humorist Leo Rosten — Douglas Wissing

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: Wouldn't it be a pity if someone said

Wouldn't it be a pity if someone said that is a prayer and that would be eliminated from schools, too? — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: No matter what your heartache may be, laughing

No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Buddy Hackett: What makes a comedian has nothing to do

What makes a comedian has nothing to do with religion. Think of Red Skelton, Jimmy Durante, Jackie Gleason, who were all Catholics. — Buddy Hackett

Red Skelton Quotes By Hattie McDaniel: Bob Hope, Red Skelton, and Eddie Cantor ...

Bob Hope, Red Skelton, and Eddie Cantor ... help us keep our balance. — Hattie McDaniel

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: I've put on a lot of weight ...

I've put on a lot of weight ... I only weighed six and a half pounds when I was born. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: I'm nuts and I know it. But so

I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: I consider the television set as the American

I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Rip Taylor: Red Skelton ... I broke into tears when

Red Skelton ... I broke into tears when I met him. — Rip Taylor

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: You know how to tell when you're getting

You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: God's children and their happiness are my reasons

God's children and their happiness are my reasons for being. — Red Skelton

Red Skelton Quotes By Red Skelton: My doctor said I look like a million

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. — Red Skelton