R Rudner Quotes: top 30 famous quotes about R Rudner

R Rudner Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational R Rudner quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible; in a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle. — Rita Rudner

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet. — Rita Rudner

Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily. — Rita Rudner

Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy. — Rita Rudner

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. — Rita Rudner

I don't panic when I get lost. I just change where I want to go. — Rita Rudner

Men are very confident people. Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to. — Rita Rudner

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh. — Rita Rudner

Human nature is largely something that has to be overcome. — Rita Rudner

You are always trying to please people before you get to the public whenever you do anything that requires a corporate body to sanction it. — Rita Rudner

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was. — Rita Rudner

I have a hold limit that I've set for myself. I hold until I start to imagine myself killing the person on the other end. Then I hang up and regroup. — Rita Rudner

I'm a very simple person. I'm very shallow. Shallow, simple, easily pleased: that's me. — Rita Rudner

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside. — Rita Rudner

Most men are secretly still mad at their mothers for throwing away their comic books. They would be valuable now. — Rita Rudner

Cats are a waste of fur. — Rita Rudner

A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe. — Rita Rudner

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen — Rita Rudner

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. — Rita Rudner

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso. — Rita Rudner

If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good. — Rita Rudner

I knew so little about money I used to sign my check, "Love, Rita." — Rita Rudner

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid. — Rita Rudner

Adventure is our birthright. — Ruth Rudner

If you are who you are on stage, people pay attention. — Rita Rudner

They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one. — Rita Rudner

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly. — Rita Rudner

I have no organisational skills. All my energy goes into worry - worrying takes a lot of energy. — Rita Rudner

The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him. — Rita Rudner

An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom; it just doesn't work. — Rita Rudner