Pilkington's Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Pilkington's

Pilkington's Quotes & Sayings

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Heaven? Floating about with everyone you ever knew for eternity? Me family does me 'ed in after one day at xmas, I'd rather be mush. — Karl Pilkington

I was impressed by the Taj Mahal. A good bit of work, well looked after, worth paying money to see. — Karl Pilkington

I don't think I've ever felt this lost, even in Wales. — Karl Pilkington

You can only live to be so old, then you gotta let go. — Karl Pilkington

So you're sayin that it's easy to send somat up to space, but you don't believe there's a little banana machine? — Karl Pilkington

There are more idiots in the world than bright ones, but it's the odd good one that makes a big difference. — Karl Pilkington

Pigeons: They've got wings, but they walk a lot ... — Karl Pilkington

That's the problem with having a bald head. It exaggerates the shape. — Karl Pilkington

[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful. — Karl Pilkington

Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it. — Karl Pilkington

You never see an old man eating a Twix — Karl Pilkington

Could the world fall? — Karl Pilkington

I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere. — Karl Pilkington

With acting, I didn't get much from it. — Karl Pilkington

A slug is always on its own. It is a lonely insect. — Karl Pilkington

If you'd have told me five years ago that I'd have done all this - two books, some television and everything - I'd panic, I'd be scared. — Karl Pilkington

I know when I was a kid I ate a beetle. I ate a beetle because I thought it was licorice. — Karl Pilkington

I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really. — Karl Pilkington

Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good. — Karl Pilkington

That love can make the difference between life and death. — Paul Pilkington

I don't understand why people take pictures of mimes. Everyone looks like a mime in a picture. — Karl Pilkington

My brain's just full of passwords. — Karl Pilkington

Stop looking at the walls, look out the window. — Karl Pilkington

If you don't sleep you get run down. Sloths never get a flu, cos its good innit thats when your body's replemishing — Karl Pilkington

Every step starts with a step. — Karl Pilkington

If you're doing the same job every day, there's room for error. — Karl Pilkington

I've heard that fact, that is you eat more than six bananas it will kill you. I saw a bowl with seven bananas in it and I thought, that's dangerous. — Karl Pilkington

There's a lot of idiots in the world, so live with it. — Karl Pilkington

Furious activity is no substitute for analytical thought. — Alastair Pilkington

We all just want to sit on our ass. — Karl Pilkington

I just want to forget,' he said, before falling — Paul Pilkington

I'm really happy. I just don't choose to show it. — Karl Pilkington

The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny. — Karl Pilkington

The reason there are so many gyms in London is because the amount of gay people who are here now. — Karl Pilkington

When i was younger i remember once i went to bed and i was so happy that i laughed myself to sleep ... — Karl Pilkington

Blind people can stay up longer than someone with eyes. — Karl Pilkington

You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that. — Karl Pilkington

Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage! — Karl Pilkington

If you live in a glass house, don't be chucking stuff about. — Karl Pilkington

It's 2006, why are they still using the index finger? — Karl Pilkington

If Dracula can't see his reflection, how come his parting's always neat? — Karl Pilkington

I don't want to go about offending people; that's not my plan. — Karl Pilkington

Fishing: I don't really like it. I don't really like the expression on the fish's face. — Karl Pilkington

All fame is is having people you don't know coming up to you and saying, 'Hello.' I'm always polite and people are always nice, but it's weird. — Karl Pilkington

It's not a joke: I really do like being at home. — Karl Pilkington

Apparently you're not allowed to lick a toad's back. — Karl Pilkington

I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever. — Karl Pilkington

A slug is always on its own. It's a lonely insect. — Karl Pilkington

It's no good operating on eyes if your eyes are asleep — Karl Pilkington

People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's got a headache, is it right? — Karl Pilkington

Me in a one-man tent crouching over carrier bag. It's not just the lowest point of the trip. It's the lowest point ever. In 38 years. — Karl Pilkington

We've invented most of the stuff that we need and now we're just messing about — Karl Pilkington

Avocados, it's a food that ain't worth injuring yourself for. If it's a hassle to get into, leave it to the experts. — Karl Pilkington

It's not easy keeping a diary. You have to be pretty committed. — Karl Pilkington

There is someone for everyone, i'nt there. That's always my thing. And it's reassuring I think. — Karl Pilkington

It's easier to have a go at something again when you failed at it as you've got nowt to lose. — Karl Pilkington

Comedy's really subjective, you know; that's why it's so hard. — Karl Pilkington

Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.' — Karl Pilkington

I've never worried about life's big questions. — Karl Pilkington

I think it's clever how Rome have kept a load of old stuff. There's no overheads, yet people are going over there to see it. — Karl Pilkington

What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate? — Karl Pilkington

A dog has got human eyes. — Karl Pilkington

If you sit in a bath of pineapple chunks, it can kill you. That's well documented. — Karl Pilkington

A block of blood should not have the word "cake" after it ... they might as well say "shite gateau — Karl Pilkington

I saw a bee have a heart attack ... — Karl Pilkington

Now sometimes I don't know if I feel well. Because I've been in my body for years. — Karl Pilkington

I'm more open to give things a go, but what I'm not good at yet is holding back. If something is daft or rubbish, I just go, I can't be doing it. — Karl Pilkington

the bus was running late, but in truth this was no surprise. Delhi probably got its name from the word 'delay'. — Karl Pilkington

At some point, some insect has had sex with a leaf. — Karl Pilkington

We're just a weed in the universe — Karl Pilkington

Your dreams should never be better than your real life — Karl Pilkington

The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death. — Karl Pilkington

There is no need for ants to have the ability to fly — Karl Pilkington

Who'd have thought the Frisbee would have caught on? — Karl Pilkington

I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax. — Karl Pilkington

If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out. — Karl Pilkington

Cat food. It stinks a bit, but if you don't put up with the smell, the little kitten will die. — Karl Pilkington

It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit. — Karl Pilkington

You never get an angry man suddenly breaking into a whistle. — Karl Pilkington

I came up with a good idea ... see-through skin. — Karl Pilkington

Parrots have gone a bit quiet since pirates have gone. — Karl Pilkington

Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? — Karl Pilkington

It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it. — Karl Pilkington

If you haven't got eyes, you shouldn't have wings — Karl Pilkington

Sometimes people let us down. Even those we love and trust the most. When it comes down to it, humans are pretty weak creatures. — Paul Pilkington

I don't know what the future is, but you just do it whilst it's there, don't you? — Karl Pilkington

If you're worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I'd say your life's pretty good — Karl Pilkington

And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding. — Karl Pilkington

They're limited edition,' she said. 'Listen,' I said 'they're not limited enough. These shouldn't have been made at all. — Karl Pilkington

The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos ... but we never saw his wife. — Karl Pilkington

I've never understood the 'things to do before you die' idea. If I was ill, I'd be in no mood to have a swim with a dolphin. — Karl Pilkington

There's fish in here that I've read about that are so see-through that they're invisible. So I don't even think they know they exist. — Karl Pilkington

It's just hassle of having friends and family an' that. — Karl Pilkington

A problem solved is a problem caused. — Karl Pilkington

Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight. — Karl Pilkington

If you're not happy looking a knob in the face, there's something wrong. — Karl Pilkington

People eat duck and you think, well, we've got loads of chickens, leave the ducks alone! — Karl Pilkington

I'm useless in water. I wake up at night drowning in my own saliva. — Karl Pilkington

How would I know which one I was? — Karl Pilkington

Reputation ... is as often gained without merit as lost without a crime ... — Laetitia Pilkington