Philips Best Quotes: top 34 famous quotes about Philips Best

Philips Best Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Philips Best quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Santa Fe is fun to visit, but property there will cost you an arm and a dillo. — Emo Philips

I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them. — Emo Philips

I was at the Wal-Mart, which is where I think everybody goes eventually. If they die without Christ. — Emo Philips

People come up to me ... concerned ... that I'll reproduce. — Emo Philips

Even the worst comic is at least somewhat entertaining, if only in a pathological way, for five minutes. — Emo Philips

Never judge someone until you've walked a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do judge him, you're a mile away and you have his shoes. — Emo Philips

I've been wrestling with reality for most of my life. I'm pleased to say I've won. — Emo Philips

I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!' — Emo Philips

Every time I see Dan Quayle I feel like buying a vowel. — Emo Philips

every dream she had ever had, like delicious fruits, and then left her alone to discover that every one was poisoned. — Sabrina Philips

I'm a great lover, I'll bet. — Emo Philips

My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often. — Emo Philips

They call me Good Time Emo. Because I love a good time! And my name is Emo. — Emo Philips

If you can make just one person laugh, then you are already doing better than Tony Danza. — Emo Philips

They have a sign at the beach, "no glass bottles". I think that's so the other sand particles don't feel like underachievers. — Emo Philips

Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil. — Emo Philips

The nicest present I ever got was an exploding suppository. — Emo Philips

You are the reason my heart beats. Your love is my lifeline, and I'm not about to give it up - not now - not ever! — Emily Rose Philips

I caught my wife in bed with my best friend the other day. I was crushed. They could have waited till I'd got out. — Emo Philips

I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!' — Emo Philips

I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them. — Emo Philips

It was enough to disillusion a man, Red Philips remarked, if a man were silly enough to have illusions. Red — James Brady

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this. — Emo Philips

Not everybody hates me. Only the people who've met me. — Emo Philips

I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me. — Emo Philips

I'm learning Cuban. It's like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items. — Emo Philips

Countries are making nuclear weapons like there is no tomorrow. — Emo Philips

I was walking down the street. something caught my eye, and dragged it fifteen feet. — Emo Philips

I think suspense is a big thing. — Gina Philips

A friend of mine gave me a Philip Glass record. I listened to it for five hours before I realized it had a scratch on it. — Emo Philips

When I was a kid, my nickname was Mr. Baseball. Because of the stitches. — Emo Philips

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. — Emo Philips

I've always thought the best way to teach a kid not to be scared of the dark is to fill his daylight hours with as much horror as possible. — Emo Philips

I have a lot more things to talk about now because I'm an adult. — Emo Philips