Paula Poundstone Quotes
Collection of top 43 famous quotes about Paula Poundstone
Paula Poundstone Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Paula Poundstone quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.
— Paula Poundstone
I was court-ordered to Alcoholics Anonymous on television. Pretty much blows the hell out of the second A, wouldn't you say?
— Paula Poundstone
I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.
— Paula Poundstone
I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.
— Paula Poundstone
I hate it when my hair is engaged in unauthorized activities.
— Paula Poundstone
The definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep.
— Paula Poundstone
When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.
— Paula Poundstone
I know a little bit about handicapping. If the horse has an IV, you want to stay - away from it.
— Paula Poundstone
I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.
— Paula Poundstone
I have jokes I've told before and will tell again, but my favorite part of the night is talking to the crowd.
— Paula Poundstone
I got my dog three years ago because I was drunk in a pet store. We had nine cats at the time. The cats started hiding the alcohol after that.
— Paula Poundstone
I think we need a 12-step group for non-stop talkers. We're going to call it On and On Anon.
— Paula Poundstone
I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family.
— Paula Poundstone
I have short-term memory loss, though I'd like to think of it as Persidential eligibility.
— Paula Poundstone
I'm the only person I know of who's ever been pulled over for attempted speeding.
— Paula Poundstone
I only do two things in my life, and that's take care of my kids and work. Fortunately, these are my favorite things to do, so it works out.
— Paula Poundstone
I get in fewer arguments when I'm alone.
— Paula Poundstone
How do you come back? It's one step at a time. I'm optimistic because I don't know what else to be.
— Paula Poundstone
The truth is libraries are raucous clubhouses for free speech, controversy and community.
— Paula Poundstone
My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it.
— Paula Poundstone
I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way.
— Paula Poundstone
I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.
— Paula Poundstone
I don't believe for a second that weightlifting is a sport. They pick up a heavy thing and put it down again. To me, that's indecision.
— Paula Poundstone
You know, in politics when you come in third, it's a win.
— Paula Poundstone
Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas. - PAULA POUNDSTONE
— Timothy Ferriss
I'm thankful for Sarah Palin's vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box off the coast of California.
— Paula Poundstone
Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up 'cause they're looking for ideas.
— Paula Poundstone
When we live up to our Constitution, let's form a Conga line around the Capitol and bungee jump off the dome.
— Paula Poundstone
I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.
— Paula Poundstone
Gay Republicans, how exactly does that work? 'We disapprove of our own lifestyle. We beat ourselves up in parking lots.
— Paula Poundstone
There are really only so many foods and so many ways you can prepare them.
— Paula Poundstone
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.— Paula Poundstone
As a kid, I loved Paula Poundstone and Richard Pryor. But my mother was a huge influence on my comedy.
— Tig Notaro
Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just to be home and see my cats.
— Paula Poundstone
I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going.
— Paula Poundstone
I'm really more prolific than most stand-ups. My act changes. I do fold in new experiences, new observations, whatever you want to call it.
— Paula Poundstone
I love talking to the audience, and I must be the luckiest performer in the world. I always land something or somebody that just takes off.
— Paula Poundstone
I used to work at The International House of Pancakes. It was a dream, and I made it happen.
— Paula Poundstone
The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.
— Paula Poundstone
I'll probably never have children because I don't believe in touching people for any reason.
— Paula Poundstone
I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do.
— Paula Poundstone
