Patton Oswalt Quotes: top 68 famous quotes about Patton Oswalt

Patton Oswalt Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Patton Oswalt quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out of me with steel pipes. — Patton Oswalt

I'm going to continue to try to strike a balance, because I really, really do love doing stand-up, and I don't see why it should affect the acting. — Patton Oswalt

Does anyone act more like an overserious senior citizen with time running out on their chance for immortality than someone in their twenties? — Patton Oswalt

It's the method of consumption, not what's on the plate. — Patton Oswalt

I like to write, I like to do stand-up, I like to act. — Patton Oswalt

I'm a sucker for Thought Catalog. Shelby Fero is really funny on Twitter. And Patton Oswalt, he's sort of like a Twitter throb. — Addison Timlin

There's something kind of beautiful about that pure love of things. Like, "I'll show that I love the thing I love by hating everything else." — Patton Oswalt

Knowing comedy is knowing human nature. — Patton Oswalt

I'm so beyond genre, drama, comedies, I just want to do really good, interesting projects. — Patton Oswalt

Having enough money has to go hand in hand with living in a way that you're not being a slave to your possessions. — Patton Oswalt

I have a very tiny house in Burbank. I drive an 8-year-old car. I'm gonna drive it into the ground. I enjoy what I enjoy. — Patton Oswalt

Part of being in your twenties is not knowing an ally when you see one. — Patton Oswalt

I hate all sidekicks. — Patton Oswalt

It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic dads right now. — Patton Oswalt

George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil. — Patton Oswalt

I don't want to get into extended conversations with people on MySpace, because there are friends I have extended conversations with every day. — Patton Oswalt

The Kentucky Fried Chicken corporation made a bobble head of me and sent it to my management. No card, nothing. — Patton Oswalt

I've gotten very cynical and kind of anhedonic about all the things I have to do to get to do comedy: all the travel, hotels, and airports. — Patton Oswalt

If Kevin James or Paul Giamatti drop weight, I'm done. I don't want to be the last pudge out there. — Patton Oswalt

I can't say that I ever abided nerd stereotypes: I was never alone or felt outcast. — Patton Oswalt

Every zombie story is fundamentally about a breakdown of order, with the infrastructure intact. That infrastructure might be on fire, yes. — Patton Oswalt

I have some shorter stories coming out in other books early next year. I might be pitching a re-vamp of Ghost Rider in the spring. We'll see. — Patton Oswalt

When you put an album out, you can't do any material from the album if people are paying to see you. — Patton Oswalt

Its gaze unlocked a room in my nightmares which should have remained closed. — Patton Oswalt

Any comedian who tells you how dark and dangerous they are, they're not dark and dangerous. — Patton Oswalt

If the victories we create in our heads were let loose on reality, the world we know would drown in blazing happiness. — Patton Oswalt

If you play comedic scenes like they're really serious, then it's so much more funny than if you're going for a laugh. — Patton Oswalt

I've been very lucky in my life in terms of people who are able to tolerate me. — Patton Oswalt

If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins. — Patton Oswalt

To get asked to do stuff like 'United States Of Tara' and 'Caprica' is terrific. I can't complain. — Patton Oswalt

Knock on wood, my groupies tend to be very artistic, creative people - sometimes way more creative than I am. — Patton Oswalt

Imitation leads to exhilaration when you follow it back to its source. — Patton Oswalt

I'm grateful that I had that uphill battle for 10 years of going onstage and having nobody know who I was, because you have to win them over. — Patton Oswalt

I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it. — Greg Behrendt

Comedy and terror and autobiography and comics and literature-they're all the same thing. To me. — Patton Oswalt

As much as I know people love the method and what you can draw out of yourself, a lot of acting is very imaginative. — Patton Oswalt

Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you. — Patton Oswalt

Even if you're popular, there are times when you just feel like you're not a part of things. — Patton Oswalt

I'm always trying out new stuff onstage. That's where I do all my writing. — Patton Oswalt

I love the beginning of Magnolia, the thing about the dealer. That scene is genius. Brilliantly acted. — Patton Oswalt

I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, 'Well, I've had it with humanity.' But I was wrong. — Patton Oswalt

Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself. — Patton Oswalt

You just do as many shows as you can to hone what it is you're working on. — Patton Oswalt

I'm not familiar with the metric system. — Patton Oswalt

Zombies can't believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits. — Patton Oswalt

Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"? — Patton Oswalt

I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck. — Patton Oswalt

He smelled like carpeting, Scotch tape, and steak sauce. — Patton Oswalt

90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on. — Patton Oswalt

You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not. — Patton Oswalt

Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term. — Patton Oswalt

Stand-up is something I just truly love to do, so I'll always go back to it. I'll never stop doing it, that's for sure. — Patton Oswalt

I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do. — Patton Oswalt

If someone like this were to like me, to like my comedy, and to like the way I conduct myself professionally, it would mean that I suck as a person. — Patton Oswalt

Even if it's other people, like on MySpace pages, we're just as collective of enthusiasts now. That seems to be the world we're in. — Patton Oswalt

We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago. — Patton Oswalt

I never said that movies were struggling behind TV. I'm just saying that movies have a better creative cache. — Patton Oswalt

I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you. — Patton Oswalt

As unhealthy as I am, I'm weirdly aware of exactly how my body functions. — Patton Oswalt

People will find transformation and transcendence in a McDonald's hash brown if it's all they've got. — Patton Oswalt

Doing 'Young Adult' was really reassuring to me in a lot of ways. It confirmed a lot of suspicions I had about great actors. — Patton Oswalt

I identify [myself] as a stand-up first. Even though lately there's been an explosion of acting on my schedule. — Patton Oswalt

The man is clear in his mind. But his soul is mad. — Patton Oswalt

The great ones show you what you can get away with. The shitty ones remind you what never to bother with. — Patton Oswalt

Hobos' (a slang term that combines the words 'hope' and 'bowl of beans given to me for free by a woman who then initiated intercourse') — Patton Oswalt

In my mind, I was always a comedian who was going to branch into writing. — Patton Oswalt

I grew up in such a featureless, personality-less suburb. There was nothing to push against. — Patton Oswalt

We need conservatives that can accept gays, and then we need hippies that can shave and bathe. — Patton Oswalt