P G Wodehouse Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about P G Wodehouse
P G Wodehouse Quotes & Sayings
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If this is Upper Silesia, what on earth must Lower Silesia be like?
— P.G. Wodehouse
Angela nearly got inhaled by a shark while aquaplaning.
— P.G. Wodehouse
He was one of those earnest, persevering dancersthe kind that have taken twelve correspondence lessons. — P.G. Wodehouse
Morning, Bill,' said Lord Tidmouth agreeably.'Go to hell!' said Bill.
'Right-ho,' said his lordship. — P.G. Wodehouse
The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.
— P.G. Wodehouse
He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.
— P.G. Wodehouse
It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.
— P.G. Wodehouse
I sank into a chair and mopped the frontal bone. Not for many a long day had I been in such a doodah
— P.G. Wodehouse
Peculiarity of golf, as of love, that it temporarily changes the natures of its victims;
— P.G. Wodehouse
The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.
— P.G. Wodehouse
I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.
— P.G. Wodehouse
At that moment the gong sounded, and the genial host came tumbling downstairs like the delivery of a ton of coals.
— P.G. Wodehouse
It is the glorious uncertainty of golf that makes it the game it is.
— P.G. Wodehouse
Six of the juiciest from a cane of the type that biteth like a serpent and stingeth like an adder, as the fellow said.
— P.G. Wodehouse
As a child of eight Mr. Trout had once kissed a girl of six under the mistletoe at a Christmas party, but there his sex life had come to abrupt halt.
— P.G. Wodehouse
As if Nature had intended to make a gorilla, and had changed its mind at the last moment
— P.G. Wodehouse
Some girls are like ants in your pants
— P.G. Wodehouse
You can't be too careful how you stir up a policeman.
— P.G. Wodehouse
His manner had the offensive jauntiness of the man who has had a cold bath when he might just as easily have had a hot one.
— P.G. Wodehouse
I knew a chap who bumped his leg, and it turned black and had to be cut off at the knee.' 'You do seem to mix with the most extraordinary people.
— P.G. Wodehouse
Lord Emsworth belonged to the people-like-to-be-left-alone-to-amuse-themselves-when-they-come-to-a-place school of hosts
— P.G. Wodehouse
Jeeves," I said, when I had washed off the stains of travel, "tell me frankly all about it. Be as frank as Lady Bablockhythe.
— P.G. Wodehouse
She was standing by the barometer, which, if it had had an ounce of sense in its head, would have been pointing to 'Stormy' instead of 'Set Fair
— P.G. Wodehouse
Lord Emsworth could conceive of no way in which Freddie could be of value to a dog-biscuit firm, except possibly as a taster.
— P.G. Wodehouse
It was all Mrs. Waddington could do to refrain from hurling a bust of Edgar Allan Poe at her head.
— P.G. Wodehouse
She uttered a sound rather like an elephant taking its foot out of a mud hole in a Burmese teak forest.
— P.G. Wodehouse
Nature seems to unbutton its waistcoat and put its feet up.
— P.G. Wodehouse
My motto is 'Love and let love' - with the one stipulation that people who love in glass-houses should breathe on the windows.
— P.G. Wodehouse
He must be provided with a claque. It will be your task, Jeeves,
— P.G. Wodehouse
I was as limpid as dammit.
— P.G. Wodehouse
Many a man may look respectable, and yet be able to hide at will behind a spiral staircase.
— P.G. Wodehouse
Jeeves, you really are a specific dream-rabbit.""Thank you, miss. I am glad to have given satisfaction. — P.G. Wodehouse
Another of these strong silent men. The world is full of us.
— P.G. Wodehouse
Routine is the death to heroism.
— P.G. Wodehouse
I must explain Henry early, to avoid disappointment.
— P.G. Wodehouse
Statisticians estimate that crime among good golfers is lower than in any class of the community except possibly bishops.
— P.G. Wodehouse
You see', said Ukridge, ' I dislike subterfuge'.
— P.G. Wodehouse
Before I came to England, my favorite authors were P. G. Wodehouse and Agatha Christie. I used to devour both.
— Salman Rushdie
Excuse me, I must go and putt
— P.G. Wodehouse
If you could call the thing a horse. If it hadn't shown a flash of speed in the straight, it would have got mixed up with the next race.
— P.G. Wodehouse
A lesser moustache, under the impact of that quick, agonised expulsion of breath, would have worked loose at the roots.
— P.G. Wodehouse
You two fit like pork and beans.
— P.G. Wodehouse
I turned round and Jeeves shied like a startled mustang.
— P.G. Wodehouse
I did not rush in with the vim I would have displayed a year or so earlier, before Life had made me the grim, suspicious man I am to-day:
— P.G. Wodehouse
She did not cease to look like a basilisk, but she began to look like a basilisk who has had a good lunch.
— P.G. Wodehouse
She gave the impression of smiling with difficulty, possibly for fear of getting wrinkles.
— P.G. Wodehouse
It is fatal to let any dog know that he is funny, for he immediately loses his head and starts hamming it up.
— P.G. Wodehouse
Aunt Agatha is my tough aunt, the one who eats broken bottles and conducts human sacrifices by the light of the full moon.
— P.G. Wodehouse
Everything is relative. you, for instance, are my relative.
— P.G. Wodehouse
Well, you've taken a weight off my mind.""A mind, I should imagine, scarcely constructed to bear great
weights. — P.G. Wodehouse
Who was that lad they used to try to make me read at Oxford? Ship- Shop- Schopenhauer. That's the name. A grouch of the most pronounced description.
— P.G. Wodehouse
Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin.
— P.G. Wodehouse
Aunt Agatha is like an elephant- not so much to look at, for in appearance she resembles more a well-bred vulture, but because she never forgets.
— P.G. Wodehouse
Mere abuse is no criticism.
— P.G. Wodehouse
Gussie opened his vaudeville career
— P.G. Wodehouse
I suppose everyone has had that ghastly feeling at one time or another of being urged by some overwhelming force to do some absolutely blithering act.
— P.G. Wodehouse
she was usually keenly susceptible to weather conditions and reveled in sunshine like a kitten.
— P.G. Wodehouse
I don't know why it is, but women who have anything to do with Opera, even if they're only studying for it, always appear to run to surplus poundage.
— P.G. Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse was a huge influence on me when I was younger, as were Edgar Rice Burroughs and George Bernard Shaw.
— Michael Moorcock
It has never been hard to tell the difference between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.
— P.G. Wodehouse
Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times; but there are higher, nobler things than love.
— P.G. Wodehouse
This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.
— P.G. Wodehouse
I always strive, when I can, to spread sweetness and light. There have been several complaints about it.
— P.G. Wodehouse
Well, you know, there are limits to the sacred claims of friendship.
— P.G. Wodehouse
He looked like a vulture dissatisfied with its breakfast corpse.
— P.G. Wodehouse
cats on hot bricks could take hints from me
— P.G. Wodehouse
Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.
— P.G. Wodehouse
He shimmered out, and I sat up in bed with that rather unpleasant feeling you get sometimes that you're going to die in about five minutes.
— P.G. Wodehouse
These dreamer types do live, don't they?
— P.G. Wodehouse
Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.
— P.G. Wodehouse
The general effect was rather as if I had swallowed six-pennorth of dynamite and somebody touched it off inside me.
— P.G. Wodehouse
I just sit at my typewriter and curse a bit.
— P.G. Wodehouse
It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to bury later on, when he had time.
— P.G. Wodehouse
The spine, and I do not attempt to conceal the fact, had become soluble, in the last degree.
— P.G. Wodehouse
She came leaping towards me, like Lady Macbeth coming to get first-hand news from the guest-room.
— P.G. Wodehouse
There is no pathos more bitter than that of parting from someone we have never met.
— P.G. Wodehouse
In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.
— P.G. Wodehouse
I never feel really comfortable unless I am either actually writing or have a story going. I could not stop writing.
— P.G. Wodehouse
Between an egg that is fried and an egg that is cremated there is a wide and substantial difference.
— P.G. Wodehouse
Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.
— P.G. Wodehouse
As a dancer, I out-Fred the nimblest Astaire.
— P.G. Wodehouse
I had one of those ideas I do sometimes get, though admittedly a chump of the premier class.
— P.G. Wodehouse
Just another proof, of course, of what I often say - it takes all sorts to make a world.
— P.G. Wodehouse
If it is bad to be all dressed up and no place to go, it is almost worse to be full of talk and to have no one to talk it to.
— P.G. Wodehouse
The drowsy stillness of the afternoon was shattered by what sounded to his strained senses like G.K. Chesterton falling on a sheet of tin.
— P.G. Wodehouse
