Old Joke Quotes: top 42 famous quotes about Old Joke

Old Joke Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Old Joke quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

My old man taught me to never trust anything that bleeds for three days and doesn't die. — Tommy Tran

remember this old Zen joke, "Don't just do something, sit there!" I can think of no better market advice when you are feeling emotional. — Palgrave Macmillan Trade

Is that another sort of joke?" asked the old man. "You've no excuse for being bored anywhere. When I was your age I had never heard of such a thing. — Henry James

It reminds me of an old joke: What did the Zombie say to the whore?"
I looked at him blankly. "Um ... what?"
He winked. "Keep the tip. — Diana Rowland

The old joke was Mitch Leigh, land baron, barren land. — Mitch Leigh

As we left they told us the old joke. To start a journey in a sandstorm is good luck. — Michael Ondaatje

Pan took the joke good-naturedly, probably deciding it wasn't a good idea to argue with a fifteen-year-old who had just pulled two people up ten feet. — Grace Anthony

I could become like that dyslexic agnostic in the old joke - the one who lies in bed and tries to figure out if his dog exists. — Anne Lamott

Is anything wrong, dear? the old joke went.
No, why?
You moved.
Just don't move. — Margaret Atwood

Ain't nothing too serious. Even death is a joke on the old devil, if we are living for the Lord. — Nancy B. Brewer

My friends joke I'm a 90-year-old stuck in a young man's body. — Douglas Booth

There was an old joke - it's not the fall that kills you but the abrupt stop. — Matthew FitzSimmons

It was on old joke among underfed, angry sailors that should mutiny fail, the weight of their bodies would not be enough to hang them. — Marcus Rediker

There used to be an old bad joke. I hope it's not so much a good joke anymore. 'Everybody's from Scranton; no one's in Scranton.' — Joe Biden

An old racetrack joke reminds you that your program contains all the winners' names. I stare at my typewriter keys with the same thought. — Mignon McLaughlin

It is an old baseball joke that big-inning baseball is affirmed in the Bible, in Genesis. In the big inning, God created ... — George Will

Even evangelicals realize that Pinocchio's father was a carpenter too. That's the old joke. — Robin Williams

dot-com flameouts that erroneously believed that they could lose money on each customer but, as the old joke goes, make it up in volume. — Eric Ries

I'm about being funny. If I can make a joke using profanity, I will. But for the most part, that can get awfully old and boring. — Howard Stern

Because, as we are told - a sad old joke, too - Ghosts, like the ladies, never speak till spoke to. — Bill Vaughan

I like to joke that I already married a 26-year-old and divorced a 29-year-old, so I wasn't going to do that again when I got remarried. — Grant Show

If someone tells you you're crazy enough times, eventually it becomes true. It's that old psychiatrist's joke: insanity's all in your head. — Madeleine Roux

Korean feminism has been swept away by popular culture. It became a sort of old-fashioned trend or a joke. — Kim Hyesoon

[When] you're dying laughing because your three-year-old made a fart joke, it doesn't matter what else is going on. That's real happiness. — Gwyneth Paltrow

As and old (and clandestine) Soviet joke used to express it, the problem with the past...is that it is always so unpredictable. — Francis X. Blouin

I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh. — Simon Le Bon

Medicine is a very old joke, but it still goes on. — Andre Maurois

was an old Ranger joke and they all smiled. — John Flanagan

You've no idea how good an old joke sounds when you take it out again after a rest of five or six hundred years. — C.S. Lewis

There's the old joke, "What's the difference between country and redneck? Well, that's three hundred dollars." — Larry The Cable Guy

Eddie remembered the punchline of an old New York joke: "Pardon me, sir, can you tell me how to get to City Hall, or should I just go fuck myself? — Stephen King

Never more then two, I told her once. I repeat an old joke about why martinis are like a women's breasts; one is never enough and three are too many — Charles Dubow

As the old joke goes, I have all the sins together. I am a woman, a Socialist, separated and agnostic. — Michelle Bachelet

Old physicist joke: they knew that the approach worked in practice, but could they make it work in theory? — Walter Isaacson

Why can't a 'bania' play hockey or football for India? Because every time he gets a corner, he opens a shop! - Old Indian Joke — Ashutosh Garg

An old paleontological in joke proclaims that mammalian evolution is a tale told by teeth mating to produce slightly altered descendant teeth. — Stephen Jay Gould

There's an old joke about Alzheimer's: the good news is that you meet new people every day. — Stephen King

Barack Obama is like the old joke about boats. The two best days of owning a boat are the day you buy it and the day you sell it. — Howie Carr

Death's an old joke, but each individual encounters it anew. — Ivan Turgenev

I've always been into leopard print. No joke, when I was 14 years old I wanted my entire room to be covered in it. — Kim Kardashian

People who don't like cats haven't been around them. There's the old joke: dogs have masters, cats have staff. — Betty White

You know the old joke: with communism the future is certain, it's just the past that keeps changing? — Patrick McGuinness