Neil Simon Quotes: top 45 famous quotes about Neil Simon

Neil Simon Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Neil Simon quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I got brown sandwiches and green sandwiches. It's either very new cheese or very old meat. - Oscar Madison, from The Odd Couple — Neil Simon

I have been working up until recently with Neil Simon, who has been adapting the character to me. — Paula Abdul

Never underestimate the stimulation of eccentricity. — Neil Simon

I don't like writing for comedians. I like writing for actors. The best comedians are the best actors. — Neil Simon

There's no good reason to change a Neil Simon line. The day that I'm funnier than Neil Simon, Hell will be a very chilly place. — Jason Alexander

I never write a play with an eye to film. — Neil Simon

[Y]ou're young. Young takes care of everything. — Neil Simon

You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash; that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out, practically. — Hector Elizondo

New York is not Mecca. It just smells like it. — Neil Simon

I understand. You work very hard two days a week and you need a five-day weekend. That's normal. — Neil Simon

Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending. — Neil Simon

He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie. — Neil Simon

The body of a young woman is God's greatest achievement ... Of course, He could have built it to last longer but you can't have everything. — Neil Simon

Standing on a ledge again. Everyone laughs at dancing monkey with the typewriter. Not for long, though. — Neil Simon

Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other. — Neil Simon

All humor is based on hostility - that's why World War Two was funny. — Neil Simon

If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor. — Neil Simon

Never have so many given so much for so long for so little for so few for so seldom. — Neil Simon

How long do you want to wait until you start enjoying life? When you're sixty-five you get social security. — Neil Simon

Talent is the gift plus the passion - a desire to succeed so intense that no force on earth can stop it. — Neil Simon

Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you. But the art of it is drawing from all the moments of your life. — Neil Simon

Once you start compromising your thoughts, you're a candidate for mediocrity. — Neil Simon

There's no such thing as a sure thing. That's why they call it gambling. — Neil Simon

Give your mind a chance to travel through foreign languages. — Neil Simon

People with honorary awards are looked upon with disfavor. Would you let an honorary mechanic fix your brand-new Mercedes? — Neil Simon

I don't use computers ... I'm someone who needs to see the page right away in my hand. — Neil Simon

There are two million interesting people in New York and only seventy-eight in Los Angeles. — Neil Simon

It looks different when you're sober; I thought I had twice as much furniture. — Neil Simon

I feel like writing about a time when I was probably, and think all of us are, the happiest before the obligations start in. — Neil Simon

I LOVE living, I have some problems with my LIFE, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far. — Neil Simon

Evan Handler's new book is simply wonderful. He pulls you inside his life, and you come out his very close friend. — Neil Simon

If you can go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet. — Neil Simon

I want to make the audience laugh and cry within ten seconds, to show just how close those emotions are. — Simon Neil

Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples. — Neil Simon

When I was in high school, I read all of Neil Simon's plays. — Darius Rucker

I was constantly being dragged out of movies for laughing too loud. — Neil Simon

Goldie Hawn is funny, sexy, beautiful, talented, intelligent, warm, and consistently sunny. Other than that, she doesn't impress me at all. — Neil Simon

Writing is an escape from a world that crowds me. I like being alone in a room. It's almost a form of meditation- an investigation of my own life. — Neil Simon

Once you've opened yourself up, it's best to go all the way. — Neil Simon

Nathan Lane always wanted to play Oscar. When he came in the first day, he already knew his lines. He said he'd known them since he was 18. — Neil Simon

The first book was my first attempt at writing full-length prose. — Neil Simon

I much prefer writing an original movie with the screen in mind to transferring a play to the screen. — Neil Simon

Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count. — Neil Simon

Sure it hurts, but if you love someone, you forgive them." Blanche
Somethings you forgive, somethings you never forgive." Kate — Neil Simon

Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money. — Neil Simon