My Other Half Funny Quotes: top 30 famous quotes about My Other Half Funny

My Other Half Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational My Other Half Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. — Bob Hope

I've purged myself of worldly goods; half my stuff is either being sold or going to charity. I need to go shopping. — Christy Leigh Stewart

Dachshund: A half-a-dog high and a dog-and-a-half long. — H.L. Mencken

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now. — Cassandra Clare

He returned my smile with a half grin. So what do you blog about? Knitting? Puzzles? Being lonely? — Jennifer L. Armentrout

My dad is actually a manic depressive, which is very exciting half the time. — Marc Maron

You know, I'm not very good at magic - I can only do half of a trick. Yes - I'm a member of the Magic Semi-circle. — Tim Vine

We made love like green is blue. That's because we were only half into it, though for the record I was the blue and she was the disinterested yellow. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I don't like half the folks I love. — Paul Thorn

A fly was very close to being called a land, because that's what it does half the time. — Mitch Hedberg

Is there anything more embarrassing than sailing into battle with half-finished figureheads? -Loki — Rick Riordan

I'm one-half Cherokee, one-half Irish, one-half Turkish, one-half Australian and one-half Korean." "Excuse me, but that's five halves," said Maggie. — Cuthbert Soup

Neither sleet nor rain nor a half inch of snow will compel me to dress like a lumberjack. — Gayle Forman

I've been vegan for about 10 and a half years. It's been all good. I'm obviously much healthier — Woody Harrelson

Marry me, he says. I got all my own teeth, I wash twice a year an I'll cut you in fer half the business here. — Moira Young

A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what size of the onion, the dish or the woman — Terry Pratchett

I was half expecting it, but it still came as kind of a shock when the barrier stayed down. It's funny how some things can be so mixed up like that. — Gavin Extence

You've been popping into the fire every hour?' Harry said, half laughing.
'Just for a few seconds to check if the coast was clear. — J.K. Rowling

Kristin Bauer is so funny. Half the time I'm working with her I'm just trying to keep a straight face. — Rutina Wesley

As a general comment on baseball:"90% of the game is half mental." — Yogi Berra

When I had my daughter, Louisanna, two and a half years ago, I started recording every funny or sweet thing she said or did on my phone. — Leelee Sobieski

If you were half as funny as you thought you were, my boy, you'd be twice as funny as you are. — Cassandra Clare

You still awake?' asked the anesthetist.
'Nope,' I replied. — Eoin Colfer

I lost my balance when the train pulled away, but a human crumple zone buffered my fall. We stayed like that, half fallen. Diagonal People. — David Mitchell

It's lap 26 of 58, which unless I'm very much mistaken is half way. — Murray Walker

I don't think half my stuff would be funny if the audience didn't feel at least a little bit safe that it's not how I truly feel. — Sarah Silverman

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life. — Richard Lewis

Course you can't fucking see, buddy, it's darker than a nun's virgin anus down here. — Charlie Huston

It's funny: half my films were flops, half did well. It would be terrible if I'd had only success. — Claude Lelouch

We started with 53,000 people. Half are gone, but surprisingly, most are still here! — Jerry Coleman