My Man Funny Quotes: top 28 famous quotes about My Man Funny

My Man Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational My Man Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Man went into a bar, he only had one arm. Guy sitting next to him said 'Hey, you've got your sleeve in my drink', man replied, 'There's no arm in it' — Tommy Cooper

My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo. — Henny Youngman

Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.' — Adam Ferrara

Love is the emotion that a woman feels always for a poodle dog and sometimes for a man. — George Jean Nathan

My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at the grocery store Grandpa. — Molly Harper

If heaven was created only for the most stupid clown, then Mr Bean could have been the only righteous man on earth. — Michael Bassey Johnson

I did. I did see Bigfoot when I was a kid and I still believe it to this day. I saw a big furry man outside my window. It's not funny! It was real. — Barry Watson

A man says to his mate: "My wife is a twin." His mate says, "How do you tell them apart?" The man says: "Her brother has a beard." — Frank Carson

The person who proclaimed me Best Dressed Man never saw me in my sport outfit. — Robert Pattinson

Labor is a man crowning glory."
"Not this man's."
"I quote Marx"
I raised my hands. The pickaxe handle had been rough.
"I quote blisters. — John Fowles

A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single!" — Henny Youngman

I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man. — Frank Carson

I'm walking out my door to get like a Snapple, and someone's like 'yo man, you want to buy some heroin?' 'No ... got any Snapple?' — Mike Birbiglia

My father was a simple man; my mother was a simple woman; you see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton. — Chic Murray

I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar. — Rodney Dangerfield

Hey, if having a beautiful, smart, funny, talented man love me unconditionally for the rest of my life makes me a victim, then that's what I am. — Victoria Denault

A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started! — Rodney Dangerfield

My father was a very funny man, and one of my strongest recollections is hearing him laugh. He didn't like people who had no sense of humour. — Mike Myers

I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer." — Rodney Dangerfield

Man, my girl is one tough chick when she wants to be. I wonder if it has something to do with those
big, comfy granny panties she's got on. — Simone Elkeles

My persona has always been what a man was never supposed to be. Outrageous, gregarious, crazy, silly, funny. — Richard Simmons

Shaga: How would you like to die, little man?
Tyrion: In my bed, at the age of eighty with a belly full of wine and a woman's mouth around my cock. — George R R Martin

Man, Grandma, what big hair you have."
"The better to style with, my dear. — Neal Shusterman

My baby is weird man ... when he get mad, he gets in the oven. — Kevin Hart

My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at? — Margaret Smith

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. — G. Gordon Liddy

To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet ... you can hide but you can't run. — Milton Jones

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange! — Charles Dickens