Most Humorous Quotes: top 82 famous quotes about Most Humorous

Most Humorous Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Most Humorous quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

What I learn today I shall know forever. Whether or not I remember that I know it is a different story. — Richelle E. Goodrich

For the hackneyed art of lying without injury to anyone, Rushbrook, to his shame, was proficient. — Elizabeth Inchbald

The real problem with stories - if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death. — Neil Gaiman

Very few problems cannot be solved by either coffee, wine or chocolate. — Evelynn Crowe

I'm so far gone that I'm telling the truth. It sounds like a foreign language. — Richard Peck

There are truths of which I have an inkling, but of most I have only a pencilling — Robert Breault

The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper. — Thomas Jefferson

Did you once own ruby slippers, and did a house fall on your head? You're a daft little munchkin. — Heather Fleener

My father had bought him a shirt
that said Sure you can date my daughter. In a completely unrelated topic,
have you seen my shotgun? — Tara Sivec

What's the saying? All is donkey balls in love and war?
-Dan Garrett — Leah Rae Miller

What's more, he was going to have a full American breakfast with bacon and eggs, none of this continental bullshit. — Gish Jen

The emotion was the most important thing. — Graham Spaid

Anything can happen in Hollywood, even good things. — J.P. Mac

Now, invite me in, before I lose my temperature.'

'Temper, you mean.'

'No, temperature. It's getting chilly. — Steven Erikson

Forget your past,
Use your pain;
Accept that pain,
And Achieve the gain. — Nitesh Nishad

Lord Emsworth belonged to the people-like-to-be-left-alone-to-amuse-themselves-when-they-come-to-a-place school of hosts — P.G. Wodehouse

You spit in this?"
"Yup."
Chris shrugged. "As long as you're honest. — R.L. Mathewson

There's an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job. — Peter Drucker

One of my students once asked me:
-' Teacher, do you like kids?'-
I said:
-' Yes, especially baked.'- — Me

It was the study hour. Most of the monks were reading. A few were meditating, an activity that was suspiciously similar to dozing. — Ken Follett

The most ethical administration in the history of the Republic. — William J. Clinton

Whats up home skillet, biscuit. — Ali Cooper

The most overpowering will is the will to not work. — Saleem Sharma

-"He loved her ... It was noble of him. It was beautiful."
-"It was stupid. — Lloyd Alexander

I can't get her pregnant! I'm just thirteen. You have to be a man to get a girl pregnant. — Scylar Tyberius

May as well have ox blood running through those veins," I added, "You're as
stubborn as one. — Katherine McIntyre

I don't think I'd want Mickey Mouse pimping for me anyway. — Haruki Murakami

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages. — Mark Twain

The closest I ever came to a near death experience was living in LA. — Deirdra Baldwin

Women; the supreme masters of the bait and switch.
D'Artagnan Bloodhawke — D'Artagnan Bloodhawke

Charm of the most insidious kind: humorous, self-deprecating, and disarmingly frank and confiding. — Loretta Chase

You seem ... unsettled." Was "unsettled" another word for horny enough to climb the walls? Because if so, then yes, I was most definitely unsettled. — Jay Crownover

The British suffer from a most unfortunate superiority complex - unjustified even under Victoria and most certainly hopelessly out-of-date today. — George Mikes

The most colossal display of wise, inspiring,
and humorous metaphors ever exhibited in one place. — Richard Lederer

The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form. — Dave Barry

People take power trips at the most inopportune times. — Lida Sideris

This must be the most embarrassing moment in my life. I am glad I am too ill to appreciate it fully. — Janet Mullany

There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere. — Mose Allison

He's an even-tempered stallion. What he lacks in stamina he makes up for in speed, kind of like most of the men I've slept with. — Lila Shaw

Quote from In Love of Honey, Money....and My Virgin Passport

If you think you've the most wicked sense of humour, try life! — Mita Jain

Why had his mother gone to the trouble of bringing him into the world if the most exciting moment in his life was having been made lame by a bayonet? — Felix J. Palma

Water is the most essential element in life, because without it you can't make coffee. — Karen Salmansohn

And most of the time, when you're young and dumb - you know everything! Charles Freeman Lee bebop pianist and trumpeter — Annette Johnson

You can't be too careful about work. It's the most dangerous habit known to medical science. — Eugene O'Neill

Then I yelled through his door, It's an anniversary gift for you, asshole. Two whole weeks early. FIFTEEN YEARS IS BIG METAL CHICKENS. — Jenny Lawson

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, isn't war the most demented activity ever invented? — Mary Pat Kelly

Have you hugged your favorite Dork lately? Most of us are squeezably soft and adorable. — Michael P. Clutton

Averages don't always reveal the most telling realities. You know, Shaquille O'Neal and I have an average height of 6 feet. — Robert Reich

No magnetic wombats, no flying hyenas, no catfish masquerading as samurai, and, MOST CERTAINLY, no Duku jam! — Gina Marinello-Sweeney

Oh, death in space was most humorous. — Ray Bradbury

Do you follow the wrestling? Most people think it's illegal, but you can watch it there. Ruby and Python are on display this evening. — Samuel R. Delany

If you don't succeed the first time - you're about average — Frederick L. Coxen

Sorry, maybe this is the head injury talking, but ... what? — Stacey Kade

I took your name when I took those vows
I meant 'em back then and I mean 'em right now. — The Band Perry

Shut up, you fool ... Really. I'm running out of things to throw at you. — Kale Lawrence

Buy this book , buy this book , you need this book, buy book now.'

Subliminal messaging works! — Nick Jimbanis

This guy had more lines than loose-leaf. — Cara Lynn Shultz

I sprayed my dog with off and he still sits in my favorite chair!! — Neil Leckman

Chomsky is a pencil-and-paper theoretician who wouldn't know Jabba the Hutt from the Cookie Monster, — Steven Pinker

As far as he was concerned, there were only two good positions for a human. A female on her back. And a male facedown not breathing. — J.R. Ward

Apollo wanted out. Out of Aphrodite, out of this bathroom, out of this house, and out of this life. — Marie Phillips

I screamed, Go to hell! in the car, and the GPS took me to my mother-in-law's house. — Emma Beasley

I suspected his middle name was "Yum". — Camilla Chafer

Even though I dislike being kicked by others, I do enjoy the feeling of kicking others — Yana Toboso

I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself. — Mark Twain

'Tis a good thing to laugh at any rate; and if a straw can tickle a man, it is an instrument of happiness. — John Dryden

Is that how you get propositioned at the court? 'Mylady, would you be so kind as to allow me to put my manhood in your vagina'? — Erica Dakin

Germans at the time believed, a little oddly, that dyes killed germs by turning the germs' vital organs the wrong color. — Sam Kean

ARISE, AWAKE AND STOP NOT TILL THE GOAL IS REACHED — Swami Vivekananda

You learn to smile even in you liver?'
'Even in my lire, Ketut. Big smile in my liver. — Elizabeth Gilbert

The devil is not, indeed, perfectly humorous, but that is only because he is the extreme of all humor. — Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I'm not lazy. I'm just really gifted, only instead of being good at music or math I'm good at sleeping late. — Elizabeth Jane Howard

God doesn't send atheists to Hell
there's no room with all the Christians down there. — Quentin R. Bufogle

Everything is uncomfortable for the first time: School, Smoking or Sex. — Aakash Deep

In Tantric Zen you can be humorous and make fun of anything or you can be very serious. — Frederick Lenz

It had better be. It doesn't do much when it's soft. — Brent Weeks

Otis! Will you PLEASE stop killing me! — Rick Riordan

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange! — Charles Dickens

Listen carefully, I'm going to say three words."
"I love you? — Lisa Scottoline

My folks were English ... we were too poor to be British. — Bob Hope

You can't beat me. I have the mind of a warlock with adonis DNA. Winning! — Charlie Sheen

It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people. — F Scott Fitzgerald