Monkhouse Quotes
Collection of top 34 famous quotes about Monkhouse
Monkhouse Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Monkhouse quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.
— Bob Monkhouse
I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.
— Bob Monkhouse
I can still enjoy sex at 74 - I live at 75, so it's no distance.
— Bob Monkhouse
My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.
— Bob Monkhouse
Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?
— Bob Monkhouse
Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.
— Bob Monkhouse
You can always spot the employee playing golf with his boss. He's the fellow who makes a hole in one and says, "oops!"
— Bob Monkhouse
A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded: 'Take me to the canaries'.
— Bob Monkhouse
I was a born club comic. Radio and TV and stage were fine, but I found my real home in cabaret.
— Bob Monkhouse
I can remember when safe sex meant a padded headboard.
— Bob Monkhouse
Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.
— Bob Monkhouse
A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away.
— Bob Monkhouse
I'll never stop working. I want to die in the saddle. A day is wasted for me if I haven't done something even mildly creative.
— Bob Monkhouse
My father was ruined by hard drink - he sat on an icicle.
— Bob Monkhouse
I'd like to die like my old dad, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming like his passengers.
— Bob Monkhouse
I got my start in silent radio.
— Bob Monkhouse
Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?
— Bob Monkhouse
My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.
— Bob Monkhouse
What do gardeners do when they retire?
— Bob Monkhouse
My wife said, 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I said, 'Why?' And she said, 'Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already.'
— Bob Monkhouse
I know I'm a sinner, but make me a winner!
— Bob Monkhouse
I told them I wanted to be a comedian, and they laughed; I became a comedian, no one's laughing now
— Bob Monkhouse
Dulwich College takes me back after seventy years: My Mum must have written one hell of a sick note!
— Bob Monkhouse
