Money Is Funny Quotes
Collection of top 80 famous quotes about Money Is Funny
Money Is Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Money Is Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
They do have these things called bookstores there. I've heard tell that if you give them money, they let you leave with a book.
— Lauren Morrill
Pound notes are the best religion in the world.
— Brendan Behan
I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!
— Rodney Dangerfield
If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
— Steven Wright
I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am!
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Don't you think its quite weird for Prince Harry, getting really stoned and seeing your grans face appearing on your money.
— Frankie Boyle
It started out as kind of a joke, and then it wasn't funny anymore because money became involved. Deep down, nothing about money is funny.
— Charles Willeford
I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy ... I'd have nothing to play with.
— Rodney Dangerfield
Art is as heavy as sorrow, as light as a breeze, as bright as an idea, as pretty as a picture, as funny as money, and as fugitive as fraud!
— Barbara Kruger
For my first gig, I got $75. I could make money being funny, so I pursued it as a career and have turned it into a lucrative business.
— Tracy Morgan
Money doesn't always bring happiness. People with ten million dollars are no happier than people with nine million dollars.
— Hobart Brown
I'm doing what I love, and then I get months and months of rest. I have a lot of money for a 21-year old. I can't stand it when actors complain.
— Jennifer Lawrence
I'm all about that money, dress like everyday sunny, rolling weed like a Marley, smile like everything funny.
— Wiz Khalifa
Manute Bol is so skinny they save money on road trips. They just fax him from city to city.
— Woody Allen
Money, Gun and Lie can solve almost all the problems.
— Amit Kalantri
It's better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money.
— P. J. O'Rourke
Poetry is again hip in America as people are beginning to refuse to die of boredom and to choke in the fog of their funny money.
— Andrei Codrescu
Selling eternal life is an unbeatable business, with no customers ever asking for their money back after the goods are not delivered.
— Victor J. Stenger
I'm not so much interested in the return ON my money as I am in the return OF my money.
— Will Rogers
The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.
— Johnny Carson
Bankers are just like anybody else, only richer
— Ogden Nash
What did you want me to do? Ask him for money?
— Mariana Zapata
A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussel sprouts never do.
— P. J. O'Rourke
It is easy to smile at an insult and pretend it's funny when the person insulting you is hosing you with money.
— Al Alvarez
A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned
— Benjamin Franklin
Money enhances a man, yes, as beauty enhances a woman.
— Leona Helmsley
She gave me money to buy condoms, and instead I bought a book of baby names. That's life. That's love. That's fiscally irresponsible.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
— Lana Turner
What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.
— Mike Birbiglia
The easiest way to make money is to be funny. The easiest way to be regarded as funny is to have money.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Good man and bad man with money goes a long ways." ~ Amunhotep El Bey
— Amunhotep El Bey
I'm as poor as a church mouse, that's just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese.
— Rowan Atkinson
You know it's funny, when it rains it pours they got money for wars, but can't feed the poor.
— Tupac Shakur
Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street
— Jay Leno
I didn't go to college at all, any college, and I'm not saying you wasted your time or money, but look at me, I'm a huge celebrity.
— Ellen DeGeneres
Not Carnegie, Vanderbilt, and Astor together could have raised money enough to buy a quarter share in my little dogs.
— Ernest Thompson Seton
If you had enough money, you could hardly commit crimes at all. You just perpetrated amusing little peccadilloes.
— Terry Pratchett
He can't get broke so long as he is stuffed with money.
— L. Frank Baum
Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.
— David Letterman
My retirement plan was in place but Bernie Maidoff with my money.
— David Letterman
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
— G. Gordon Liddy
The rich hire lawyers and accountants for a reason - to pass the tax bill on to you.
— George W. Bush
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
— George W. Bush
The grass is always greener when it's covered in money.
— Craig Benzine
Money is what makes a man act funny.
— Eminem
Whole new theories of money were growing here like mushrooms: in the dark and based on bullshit.
— Terry Pratchett
Life is a gamble, we scramble for money,
I might crack a smile, but ain't a damn thing funny. — Prodigy
I might crack a smile, but ain't a damn thing funny. — Prodigy
If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves.
— Lane Kirkland
She's strong! And scary ... I bet she's single ... I'd put money on it..
— Masashi Kishimoto
If I had to pick another career, I'd be an optometrist for potatoes. That's where the money is.
— Peter Wisan
It's funny because I grew up with the T.V. on 24 hours a day. And the more money I made, the more T.V.s we had.
— Gaby Hoffmann
We might make a lot of money but, we also spend a lot of money.
— Patrick Ewing
I only lie for sex or money or to practice for when I need to lie for sex or money.
— Stephen Schneider
It's your money. You paid for it.
— George W. Bush
Torn clothes are funny ... until your dad gets fired.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
I have only one way to blow the steam off, i make money, you spend money thats funny,now i'm smilling like thats honey
— Mohlalefi J Motsima
You could carve out the inside of a brick and hide your money in it for safe keeping. It's certainly safer than keeping it in the bank!
— Nicole McKay