Masturbation Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Masturbation

Masturbation Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Masturbation quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Virtual sex, no matter how realistic, was really nothing but glorified, computer-assisted masturbation. — Ernest Cline

Instead of being a well-known painter, I became everybody's favorite dirty joke. Come to think of it, teaching masturbation skills is pretty weird. — Betty Dodson

What I like about masturbation is that you don't have to talk afterwards. — Milos Forman

gratuitous masturbation
of the
psyche. — Charles Bukowski

To masturbate is to imagine: physically. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The only shame in masturbation is the shame of not doing it well. — Sigmund Freud

Parthenogenesis means never having your mother tell you to stop doing that or you'll go blind. — Seanan McGuire

Communication without a purpose is artistic masturbation. — Rod Steiger

Reading - like masturbation - is something you do alone and very little in life brings more pleasure. — Chloe Thurlow

Sex without love is nothing more than a complex form of masturbation. — August Clearwing

The piano bar is the gateway to the halls of masturbation. — Henry Miller

Use of masturbation as a way of soothing yourself to ward off death anxiety so you can fall asleep. — Irvin D. Yalom

But it was I, yes I, who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics! — Woody Allen

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity. — Patrick Murray

Today I will masterbate!
Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written Today I will masterbate
if I want to! — Al Franken

I even made love to myself once. Uhh, I wasn't suppose to tell you that. — Gary B.B. Coleman

In the United States, the last recorded clitoridectomy for curing masturbation was performed in 1948
on a five year old girl. — Eve Ensler

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person. — Chelsea Handler

Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love. — Woody Allen

The war against illegal file-sharing is like the church's age-old war against masturbation. It's a war you just can't win. — Lawrence Lessig

What was said about him, what the females needed to believe about him, was just oral masturbation for mouths that needed to be otherwise occupied. — J.R. Ward

If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again. — Dennis Miller

Masturbation! The amazing availability of it! — James Joyce

Abused as we abuse it at present, dramatic art is in no sense cathartic; it is merely a form of emotional masturbation ... — Aldous Huxley

Love is what makes sex more than masturbation. If there is no love even if you are really with a partner you masturbate with a partner. — Slavoj Zizek

Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the twentieth, it's a cure. — Thomas Szasz

Intercourse with a woman is sometimes a satisfactory substitute for masturbation. But it takes a lot of imagination to make it work. — Karl Kraus

AA 241:87 - I would argue that masturbation is the human animal's most important adaptation. The very cornerstone of our technological civilization. — Ernest Cline

When it comes to sex: some men treat women as objects; some women treat objects as men. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Worry is a habit that shatters our peace of mind and needlessly drains our energy, a form of mental masturbation without any benefits. — Sue Patton Thoele

If masturbation is a crime then I should be on death row. — Jeremy Piven

Not everyone who condemns masturbation can masturbate. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Private moments held not a candle to coitus, not even the expensive kind of candle that made the whole room smell of far off seasons. — Thomm Quackenbush

I've been married but I'm not anymore. And I still believe in love. — Nick Saint Clair

Procrastination is like masturbation, in the beginning it feels good, but in the end, you're just f***ing yourself! — Michael McCarthy

Female masturbation is permissible unconditionally. — Mohammad Hussein Fadlallah

At the end of the day, I was still a virgin, all alone in a dark room, humping a lubed-up robot. — Ernest Cline

I have a Ph.D. in masturbation. — Amelie Nothomb

The act of writing itself is done in secret, like masturbation. — Stephen King

Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you're the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public. — Bob Saget

Writing is like masturbation. It might not bear fruit, but it certainly does feel good. — Charles Delmar

Writing is like a mental masturbation to me. — Lina K. Lapina

Stars today are just masturbation images. — Robert Mitchum

Self improvement is masturbation... — Chuck Palahniuk

If you say children wouldn't know anything about masturbation on their own, you've never changed a little boy's diaper. — Joycelyn Elders

Your imagination and some masturbation is a much better alternative to finding out what kind of person a bit of casual sex transforms you into. — S.A. Tawks

Masturbation never got anybody pregnant, does not make anybody go crazy, and what we're about is preventing HIV in our bright young people. — Joycelyn Elders

Novels, except as aids to masturbation, play no part in contemporary life. — Gore Vidal

Masturbation is great for the right arm — Daron Malakian

An ancient truism had once decreed, Self-improvement is masturbation. ... — Anonymous

I reach down and grab my cock
the rolling scenery in my mind
far from peaceful — Wren Verlaine

People who detest their sanity love to tell you they are insane, authors included...and all for a few bucks. Their charlatan madness is masturbation. — W.T. Shad

I had a moral tutor, but never saw him (the only words of his I remember are 'The three pleasures of life -drinking, smoking, and masturbation') — Philip Larkin

When they say take from my body, I think I'll take from mine instead. Getting off, getting off while they're all down stairs. — Tori Amos

Masturbation is good for the right arm. — Daron Malakian

I just want mind-boggling sex tonight, but I don't think you can beat my vibrator. — Anna Bayes

Masturbation is always very safe. You not only control the person you're with, but you can leave when you want to. — Dudley Moore

Remember how it felt yesterday? What you saw me do?" I snorted and grinned. "Man, do I ever. I remembered twice last night and again this morning. — Missy Welsh

Masturbation is a democratic pleasure, practiced by rich and poor, young and old, married and single. — Mason Cooley

For the most expensive way to realize an orgasm, men open their wallets. For the cheapest, they close their eyes. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

It's disgusting. On trains, the number of those people doing that strange masturbation-like gesture is multiplying. — Hayao Miyazaki

My friends keep telling me I'm doing it with Mary Palmer. That's not true - I'm too busy masturbating to meet anyone new. — Roddy Piper

With a shaking hand, he reached for his cock, and stroked it slowly from base to tip.
Clearly, prayer time was over. — Rosanna Leo

Fuck you . . . you fucking body-dysmorphia porn-addict trust-fund-baby compulsive-masturbation motherfucker. — Warren Ellis

Somewhere, there's someone who's masturbation ritual ends with them setting up ventriloquist dummies facing the bed. I mean, someone else. — Dana Gould

For years I thought babies came out of belly buttons and masturbation meant chewing your food really well — Charlotte Stein

Cycling, like masturbation, is fun and easy to do - sometimes all day long. — Tom Doig

Always buy pornographic books in hardback because they're easier to hold with one hand. — Robert Clark

I do not need a man. I am devoted to masturbation. I think it's probably one of the most pleasurable experiences in life. — Gloria Stuart

Prince's music calmed me as much as masturbation or a cheeseburger. — Jonathan Lethem

Everyone thinks their whole life should be at least as much fun as masturbation. — Chuck Palahniuk

They are this horrible thing where you are distorted. The chin is too big, the head is too small. No, this is electronic masturbation. — Karl Lagerfeld

Clinton masturbates in the sinks. — Ann Coulter

You cannot blame porn. When I was young, I used to masturbate to Gilligan's Island. — Ron Jeremy

Masturbation is pleasure without cost. So how might you make people pay? — Christopher S. Hyatt

I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life. — John Mayer

Ideology is masturbation, a jerk-off afforded to those few privileged with time on their hands and no wolves at the door. — Rick Remender

[On masturbation:] I think that it is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught. — Joycelyn Elders

Twas the night before Thanksgiving.
All the food's in the oven.
And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'. — Craig Ferguson

They command a fascination, however reluctant, that borders on psychic masturbation. — Hunter S. Thompson

If I'm going to merely ramble, maybe I should just snuggle under the warm covers, think of Miu, and play with myself. — Haruki Murakami

Well, one thing you can say for masturbation ... you certainly don't have to look your best. — Mart Crowley

Philosophy stands in the same relation to the study of the actual world as masturbation to sexual love. — Karl Marx

Bouldering is like masturbation: not as good as the real thing but you don't need to worry about your protection. — Scott Grimes

Life is just masturbation in a sense, mentally. What people do is they just create a world out of their self-reflection. — Frederick Lenz

You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert. — Woody Allen

Writing a book is like masturbation, and making a movie is like an orgy. — Clive Barker

Masturbation is our first and natural form of sexual activity and if that's inhibited or damaged, then we suffer for the rest of our lives. — Betty Dodson

Just like real sex, the touching was good, but there came a point in time when a woman needed to be filled - deeply. — Lacey Alexander

Masturbation and meditation both promote physical and mental wellbeing. — Abhijit Naskar

It's what I call "mental masturbation", when you engage is some pointless intellectual exercise that has no possible meaning. — Linus Torvalds

I think the internet is the greatest waste of time since masturbation was discovered. — Norman Mailer

Physics is to math what sex is to masturbation. — Richard Feynman

Masturbation is killing thousands and tens of thousands. — Ellen G. White

Masturbation is the new polygamy. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

He looked like an angelic little boy who had been kicked out of his orphanage for failing to take part in group masturbation. — Charles Wright

Masturbation = Imagination + Activity. Worry = Imagination + Negativity. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

I hung a picture of him above my bed and learned by hand the internal workings of the female combustion engine. — Shannon Celebi

Sexual gratification can only be achieved through the use of machines. — Frank Zappa

Masturbation is the thinking man's television. — Christopher Hampton