M&a Funny Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about M&a Funny
M&a Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational M&a Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
How come everybody cheers when chicks flash their T&A, but when I pull out my D&Bs, i'm a registered sex offender.
— Daniel Tosh
I'm an unorthodox type of guy, a funny guy - at least I think I'm funny. And one of the things I like to do is come up with nicknames for myself.
— Shaquille O'Neal
I'm not on a diet. And it's funny cause people go 'Well, then why do you drink diet soda?' So I can eat regular cake.
— Gabriel Iglesias
After a time he fell asleep, and some unsteady fairies had to climb over him on their way home from an orgy.
— J.M. Barrie
I watched as an extremely nerdy exhibitor - I'm talking about a guy who makes Bill Gates look like Brad Pitt ...
— Dave Barry
I'm sorry, I just did a shot
— Jennifer Lawrence
Daryl Dixon: You got some balls for a Chinaman. Glenn: I'm Korean.
Daryl Dixon: Whatever. — The Walking Dead
I'm a sucker for Thought Catalog. Shelby Fero is really funny on Twitter. And Patton Oswalt, he's sort of like a Twitter throb.
— Addison Timlin
No bikinis on a first date." He nods. "I'm sure that's a rule. Or should be. For my sisters anyway.
— Huntley Fitzpatrick
My silence was reward for you saying something intelligent. I'm a firm believer in positive reinforcement.
— Sam Argent
I don't get offered many dramatic roles. As soon as my face pops up in a movie, everyone knows I'm the funny guy.
— Chris Elliott
My father was funnier than me. My father was Richard Pryor-funny. I'm just a better businessman.
— Tracy Morgan
The funny part about Islam is; even if you rape a woman, it would be considered as her fault.
— M.F. Moonzajer
I'm not a facebook status you don't have to like me.
— Wiz Khalifa
I'm a born-again atheist.
— Gore Vidal
I can eat you at breakfast, not because I am a monster; it is only because you are too cute and yummy.
— M.F. Moonzajer
They call me the confuser. Is he a man ... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind.
— Noel Fielding
I'm an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat.
— Harold Wilson
A woman is a funny animal.
— James M. Cain
No really, I'm a werewolf and you're a human, which essentially translates into a steak with legs.
— Quinn Loftis
I'm always more motivated by the pain of a funny character than by what makes him funny.
— Jason Alexander
I'm not the one going for a biology degree. I'm just a philosophy major who eats people.
— Scott Westerfeld
I'm decorating my parents' house for Christmas ... I hope they find my manger with a baby yeezus in it as funny as I do!
— Lisa Lampanelli
So does that mean if you won't fuck me because I'm high, I could fuck you because you're not?
— K.A. Mitchell
I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.
— Dave Chappelle
I'd rather not have a moment when I'm known for my looks; being funny and interesting lasts longer.
— Kelly Ripa
I'm the munter of my friends. I've got wonky teeth and a lazy eye. My friend Rob is disgusted I'm a heart-throb.
— Russell Howard
I'm sure I look a wreck. But he's the one who wrecked me so he may as well take a good long look at what he's done.
— Monica Murphy
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year.I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety. — Steven Wright
I'm not a believer in the pratfall. I don't think it's funny just to have someone fall down.
— Harold Ramis
I like to have fun and be funny, but I'm much more of a thinker.
— Keenen Ivory Wayans
That just sounds so funny, A-list. Really, I'm a mom, and that's how I'm going to be all my life.
— Angelina Jolie
I'm a little bit naked, but that's okay.
— Lady Gaga
I appreciate humor so much, but I'm actually not a funny girl.
— Emmanuelle Chriqui
When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.'
— Susan Sarandon
Maybe you should make me a list of people I can kill and ways in which they're allowed to die," he said. "You are not funny." "I'm very funny.
— Ilona Andrews
Like your zodiac sign? Percy asked. 'I'm a Leo.'No, stupid,' Leo said. I'm a Leo. You're a Percy. — Rick Riordan
The funny thing is, I'm not really a big reader, not a big fan of books in the first place.
— Macaulay Culkin
Whenever I call a company and get put on hold, I never really feel like I'm being held.
— Randy Glasbergen
The funny thing is I'm not bothered or sad about being on my own - after all I've never had a husband.
— Francesca Annis
I'm a big fan of comedians not having to apologize for anything. Nowadays it seems comedians are always apologizing for being funny.
— Kevin Dillon
I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me!
— Zach Galifianakis
It's funny how we like labels. If I ever have a bookstore, I'm not going to put any labels on the sections.
— Audrey Niffenegger
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
— Edward De Bono
No, I don't want you to leave. I'm just grabbing your coat and nudging your toward the door for fun #AHOLE
— A.O. Storm
I'm not ashamed of being a bubbly, funny person. I think that's as valid as being the dark, brooding, tortured Oscar-nominated one.
— Cameron Diaz
I'm not the type of guy who's funny in the room. I'm the guy who's funny late at night on a computer, trying to construct jokes.
— Scott Aukerman
I have a rule: I prefer anyone who doesn't try to kill me to anyone who does. I'm funny that way.
— China Mieville
I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Mom, how come you never go outside?""I told you, I'm a vampire. — Alison Bechdel
I really love showing up at work at 10 A.M., trying to make it funny until 3 P.M., and then going home. It's like comedy bankers' hours.
— Chris Eigeman
I'm alive," he groaned. "But I'm not doing a very good job of it.
— Merrie Haskell
I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown?
— Joe Pesci
The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
— Henny Youngman
You aren't a morning person, are you?" he mused."No, I'm not. There is a reason mornin' and mournin' sound the same. — L.A. Casey
You bitch!Why is it that whenever I draw blood, I'm a bitch? — Rachel Vincent
It's funny, because I'm a man of strong opinions and when I make one, I stand by it even if it starts to appear incorrect to me after a while.
— Danny Bonaduce
I like to have fun, but I don't think of myself as being funny. But I'm a big jokester, so I make fun of myself a lot!
— Taylor Lautner
I'm here to shine a bright light. I'm not here to be a guy of death. I just like 'KD' better.
— Kevin Durant
The funny thing about insane people is that it is kind of the opposite of being a celebrity. Nobody envies you.
— Robert M. Pirsig
A lot of the things I say I'm just trying to be funny ... I don't really mean everything I say, because I'm not totally that airhead.
— Paris Hilton
I have a copy of you in my brain; when you make me angry I do very bad things to you.
— M.F. Moonzajer
What can I say? I'm like a playground water fountain, I live to wet people's pants.
— Frances Winkler
A woman who is praying and a woman who is having fun, they both say " Oh My God", the only difference is how they pronounce it.
— M.F. Moonzajer
I hope they make a show like M*A*S*H, which dealt with a lot of difficult subject matter but was very funny.
— Joan Severance
I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown.
— Bernie Mac
I'm homeless, in a funny way. My culture I think is completely rooted in German 19th century music I suppose.
— Hans Zimmer
Can I come in?No! I'm in a towel!
I'm blind! — James Patterson
I'm not a human anymore
— Darren Shan