Like You Funny Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Like You Funny

Like You Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Like You Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I like to smoke a pipe, because it's the punch line indicator. Whenever I take a hit of the pipe, you should be laughing. — Mitch Hedberg

He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces — Ron Atkinson

End? You don't mean like, dead end? — Paul Dini

What would you rather be? 52 and look 52, or 52 and look like a 28-year-old lizard? — Bill Burr

Treat me like a king and I'll treat you like a queen ... Treat me like a queen and off with your head — Josh Stern

Nothing makes you think you might need years of therapy like saying the word breasts in front of your mother. — Katie McGarry

drive like hell was chasing you. — Cassandra Clare

Fine, I'll touch you, briefly, but only because you sound like you need the praise that your body's hot, and I'm totally selfless like that. — Kyle Adams

It sounds like you aren't used to having something so powerful between your legs," Abbey said. "Maybe you should let me drive. — Shawn Keenan

Aline!" Isabelle looked appalled. "You can't just go around asking people what it's like to be a vampire. — Cassandra Clare

You're not exactly up for the Humanitarian of the Year award, so save your altruism for someone who can't see through you like cellophane. — Rebecca McNutt

Hojo-"You sound exactly like bandits, bossing me around."
Bandits- "That's because we ARE bandits. — Rumiko Takahashi

My gramps is a lot like you. No sense of adventure. All he does is sit in his urn... — Cleo Peitsche

What I like about masturbation is that you don't have to talk afterwards. — Milos Forman

Why don't you say "What?" if you like to sleep with your own sister. — The Undertaker

I think people like comedies and I think concept driven comedies seem to be working when it's a clear concept and you deliver funny stuff. — Todd Phillips

You Cannot Live as I Have Lived and Not End Up Like This: The Thoroughly Disgraceful Life & Times of Willie Donaldson. — Jay Nordlinger

If you can't do anything about it, laugh like hell. — David Cook

I love when guys are funny. I love guys that are funny and goofy and over the top. And you know, I really like personality. I do. — Kaley Cuoco

Dayum! You know Charley's pissed when the f-bomb is flying out her mouth like it's her job to drop them. — Jacquelyn Ayres

I'm not a facebook status you don't have to like me. — Wiz Khalifa

How is it that food STILL contains calories that make you gain weight in the 21st CENTURY?! It's like scientists aren't even trying! — Tanya Masse

My Dear McClellan, if you don't want to use the army I should like to borrow it for a while. Yours respectfully. — Abraham Lincoln

You know, albums are a funny thing. They're not like an intellectual decision. It's a collection of your kind of musings. — Glen Hansard

There you go. Perfect. And can you still throw up at will like you could in sixth grade? That would be good. — Adam Rex

I hate that stuff. It tastes like feet."
At that he smiled. "How would you know what feet taste like?"
"I just know. — Cassandra Clare

Don't do it gurl," he said with a wink. "You need to pretend like that phone is your best friend's husband's dick now drop it. — Ethan Day

Are you really speechless or has the vodka finally impaired your ability to function like a normal human? — Heidi McLaughlin

Oooh, hard to say," Angela sneered behind Kami. "Other than live without magic like everybody els, you loser. — Sarah Rees Brennan

A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing. — Bill Shankly

If you two had babies would they be like uber-von Strassenbergs? Would they be like eight feet tall? — Gwenn Wright

She's cute, I thought, but you don't need to like a girl who treats you like you're ten: You've already got a mom. — John Green

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot. — Minnie Pearl

I like films that are so funny, dramatic and lifelike simultaneously, that you are laughing and cringing simultaneously all throughout the film. — Mike Birbiglia

Laurence the last time I saw something like you I flushed it away. — Mark A. Cooper

Shaga: How would you like to die, little man?
Tyrion: In my bed, at the age of eighty with a belly full of wine and a woman's mouth around my cock. — George R R Martin

You look like a horse in a man costume — Dylan Moran

Funny thing about love, ain't it? Sometimes it saves you and sometimes, like right then, even love isn't enough. — Eden Butler

He has no idea what it was like to grow up in the South, where you had to hold your head down. — Fred Allen

Whenever you feel like feeling like a devil's advocate, Bible-thump. That, in a worldly world, is the great irony and satire of evangelism. — Criss Jami

Ah, well, when you explain it like that, it seems obvious," said Mudge. "Of course, it always seems obvious once it's been explained. — Theodora Goss

You there, you look like a well-rounded lady, oh yes, and I mean well-rounded — TBBishiXO

Cause if you were my girlfriend and a stud like me was livin' in your house, I'd kiss you in front of the guy every chance I got as a reminder. — Simone Elkeles

I like cats. They don't care if you love Jesus. — Miss Merikan

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. — Albert Einstein

Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject. — Shelby Metcalf

You'd be amazed to discover all the tangible things that can come out of dreams." "Like drool? — Catherine Lowell

Has anybody ever told you you're a remarkably cynical person?"
"I like to think of it as learning from experience. — Benedict Jacka

Love doesn't drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator. — Helen Gurley Brown

The Americans are like shadows . . . frightening until you finally touch them and realize that their image was their power all along. — Mark Henshaw

I went to a cigar store, the man behind the counter asked me, "What kind of cigars do you like?" I answered, "It's a Boys." — Mitch Hedberg

Bob Davis has his hair differently this year, short with curls like Randy Jones wears. I think you call it a Frisbee. — Jerry Coleman

That depends. Are you going to call me an ass again?"
"That depends. Are you going to act like one?" -Ashton and Maya — Kelley Armstrong

You look like a hot tamale."
"That's not really a compliment. — Simone Elkeles

Love is like a war; easy to start but hard to end and you never know where it might take you. — Oscar Wilde

And you'd think that killing people would make them like you, but it doesn't. It just- it just makes them dead. — Joe Walker

I like how you don't hide your problems like everyone else, and I don't have to hide mine when I'm around you. — Ned Vizzini

You have a mind like the rings of Saturn. A million miles wide and an inch deep. — Kim Stanley Robinson

What turns an honest, good-looking guy like you into a theif?"
Scott couldn't help but smirk.
"I blame chocolate. — Geoffrey Knight

You kissed me like that when I was a blushing bride ... ? I wonder what I was blushing about? — Gracie Allen

Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth. — Jon Foreman

Funny thing about belonging to two worlds: Sometimes you feel like you belong in zero. — Emily Henry

You can't just go gay, its not like buying a ladder. — Noel Fielding

I love it when you talk clean to me, quoting training manuals like sonnets. — Amanda Hocking

What's with all those tattoos? Makes you look like a hooligan."
"I suspect I am a hooligan. — Simone Elkeles

Particularly beautiful people were like particularly funny-looking people, though. Once you know them you mostly forgot about it. — Ann Brashares

Like your zodiac sign? Percy asked. 'I'm a Leo.
'No, stupid,' Leo said. I'm a Leo. You're a Percy. — Rick Riordan

Thank you leaf blowers, for making me look like the world's lamest Ghostbuster. I ain't afraid of no leaves. — Jimmy Fallon

Um ... Mercer? Haven't seen you in nearly a month. I was expecting something like, 'Oh Cross, love of my heart, fire of my loins, how I've longed
— Rachel Hawkins

I'd like to thank readers. Every time you open a book, it is a strike against ignorance. Unless you're reading Sarah Palin. — Libba Bray

You," he purred, "are a HILF."
"A what?"
"A Horseman I'd like to fuck. — Larissa Ione

That's the exciting part about capitalism. It's like surfing, you have to catch the wave. - Martin Peter (aka Vermin Gobsmack) — Jamie Delano

You can always tell when a man's well informed. His views are pretty much like your own. — H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Dark, cool, musty, smoky, where light fell funny and everyone looked like someone you knew or wanted to know. Or, more likely, wanted to forget. — David Baldacci

I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it. — Jimmy Carr

What are those bulb things you're slicing?"
"You've never seen fennel? It looks like celery and tastes like licorice. — Ken Jennings

And you look beautiful," she added.
"I look like a cake."
"But a beautiful cake. — Andrea Cremer

Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's. — Jonathan Tropper

You catch more flies with honey, ever heard of that?" He shrugged. "I don't like flies. They're annoying." He grinned "I'd rather catch hell. — Heather Hildenbrand

I see some people with glasses here, I trust people with glasses, don't you? But if you're wearing your glasses like this ... "Get away from 'em!" — Jim Gaffigan

Jack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilarious. — Caitlin Hale

Are you a female dog?"
"What?" Massie asked. "Why?"
"Because you are acting like a real bitch! — Lisi Harrison

Go take a shower, you smell like good sex and unnecessary regret. — Cassandra Giovanni

You ever tried sixty-nine, Lola? I think you'd like it. You're a good multi-tasker. — Bianca Giovanni

Funny how you can forget that every family isn't like yours. — Patrick Ness

If I can sell tickets to my movies like Red Sonja or Last Action Hero, you know I can sell just about anything. — Arnold Schwarzenegger

I love Valentine's Day. When you're a kid everyone gets a Valentine. It's like 'TO TIM, NICE PANTS, LOVE SCOTT'. It's Valentines galore! — Mike Birbiglia

Girls are like Pokemon, it doesn't matter how good you are, you can't catch any if you don't have any balls. — Auliq Ice

You'll pay for making Genos look like modern art! Lead the way! — ONE

You can't draw lines in the sand like that. Humour's a tsunami that doesn't care about your little lines. — S.A. Tawks

Time heals all wounds. Unless they're infected. Like gangrene. That shit'll kill you. — Johnny Moscato

Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap. — Lewis Black

Sex when you're married is like going to the 7-Eleven: There's not much variety, but at three in the morning, it's always there. — Carol Leifer

LIKE THE SUICIDAL RACCOON, I, TOO, WILL FUCK UP YOUR ALIGNMENT IF YOU RUN ME OVER. - T-shirt — Darynda Jones

It's pretty funny, just driving by in a cab, and you see a huge billboard of yourself on the side of a hotel, like a 100-by-100 poster hanging up. — Patrick Kane

I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues" — Demetri Martin

Back from where? you're not going out again and leaving me here are you?? Holy Hercules I sound like somebody's wife — Ruth Downie

People always say, "When did you know you were funny?" They don't mean that in a bad way - this already makes me sound like such a jerk. — Rob Huebel

You're like an idiot...trapped in an idiot's body!"

Hey it was funny at the time and level of intoxication. — Jedidiah Behe

When you do stuff as a comedian, Hollywood sees you as a comedian and so most of the calls I get are for a funny movie or something like that. — Cedric The Entertainer