Light Humor Quotes: top 78 famous quotes about Light Humor

Light Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Light Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Ish #153 Artificial plants grow best in artificial light. — Regina Griffin

When you go to a bar that has a black light, everybody looks cool. Except for me, because I was under the impression that the mustard stain came out. — Mitch Hedberg

The light was only just visible - except of course that there was no one to see, no witnesses, not this time, but it was nevertheless a light. — Douglas Adams

In everything I write, I'm always striving to hit the right mix of light and darkness, humor and pain, fun and seriousness. — Greg Van Eekhout

People seem to overlook an old man losing his mind if he occasionally made light of it. — Marissa Meyer

Miss Fairlie laughed with a ready good-humour, which broke out as brightly as if it had been part of the sunshine above us ... — Wilkie Collins

The first thing people lose on a diet is their sense of humor. Keep it fun. Keep it light. — Gunnar Peterson

My heart is so light, I think it might be made out of air. It might float up and escape through the gap between my front teeth. — Robin York

You think you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it's only some bugger with a torch bringing you more work. — David Brent

A seal the size of Canada attaches to her soul light. — Victoria Scott

No doubt she was thinking, Who dressed this poor girl like a traffic light? — Rick Riordan

Hold the bottle up to the light; you will see your dreams are always at the bottom. — Rob Hutchison

So much for the bimbo alert; if she read books like that, then there was a light on upstairs, above the splendid front porch. — C.I. Dennis

Humor, warm and all-embracing as the sunshine, bathes its objects in a genial and abiding light. — Edwin Percy Whipple

Nothing in the universe can travel at the speed of light, they say, forgetful of the shadow's speed. — Howard Nemerov

Mary had a little lamb, its fleece electrostatic / And everywhere Mary went, the lights became erratic. — David Foster Wallace

Darkness is necessary for evolvement. — Lailah Gifty Akita

She was plump, with dyed red hair and a face so caked with cosmetics that the floor of the Amazon jungle probably saw more natural light ... — John Connolly

That was some branch. Did it have a vendetta against your t-shirt?"
"Guess so."
"I hope you showed it who is boss."
"Yeah, I peed on it. — Stacey Marie Brown

I fight with love and i laugh with rage ... you gotta live light enough to see the humor, and long enough to see some change ... — Ani DiFranco

She had only a candle's light to see by, but candlelight never did badly by any woman. — John Fowles

I saw a want ad. "light housekeeping." They said "Here, change this bulb." I said "I'll need some friends." — Steven Wright

God said "Let there be light" and George morgan flipped the switch. — Tara Sivec

Look. The world is full of liars, and it's time someone admitted it, shed a light on it, and lightened up about it. — Lauren Handel Zander

From Lucifer to Jerry Sneak there is not an aspect of evil, imperfection, and littleness which can elude the lights of humor or the lightning of wit. — Edwin Percy Whipple

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. — Douglas Adams

One of the first things I look for in a woman I meet is a sense of humor, a sort of light acceptance of the world and the people who live in it. — Adam West

I stood up in a flash and flushed a light shade of furious. — J.L. McCoy

Holy crap, you are like a dog with a bone," I commented to Ryan.
"Or just one with a boner. — Stacey Marie Brown

Thin Burning Light Gun
If the car found life, it could try to use this gun to learn about it, but the life might not be alive when it was done. — Randall Munroe

He let the curtain drop and the terrible light that had played on his features went off to play somewhere more healthy. — Douglas Adams

Unrealistic? I think not, that bee was about to murder me. — Devyn Dawson

By the way, don't you think shoving a light bulb up baby Jesus' butt and plugging it in is just a little sacrilegious? — Dana Marie Bell

The old Janey only drank cheap wine and light beer. The new Janey is classy, prefers cocktails, and even drinks alone. — J.C. Patrick

To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train. — Joan Rivers

An eye for an eye my friend. — Tsugumi Ohba

Sierra, it's Christmastime. Put a stupid mistletoe over his head and kiss him already! — Jay Asher

If the Creator had said, "Let there be light" in Ankh-Morpork, he'd have got no further because of all the people saying "What colour? — Terry Pratchett

I used a light hand with my makeup because I wanted to look good without looking like a good time. — Marta Acosta

It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. — Woody Allen

One day, scientists will overtake LIGHT and crash into the DARKNESS. — Paul McDermott

And with a little sense of humor we can say that there are Christian bats who prefer the shadows to the light of the presence of the Lord. — Pope Francis

I see a light in the kitchen. Let us not deprive Molly any longer of the chance to deplore how thin you are. — J.K. Rowling

I had this vision of the two of us holding hands or getting into some light petting behind shower curtains or up in the fencing aisle or some shit. — Susan Juby

Especially the transcendental philosophy needs the leaven of humor to render it light and digestible. — Henry David Thoreau

It's always darkest before you're blinded by the light — Josh Stern

The Rottnest Light is a stumpy middle finger sticking up from the a rocky rise, grunting, Sit on this, mate. — David Mitchell

I am too old a soldier to believe that. Hoster will be chiding me about the Redwyne girl even as we light his funeral pyre, damn his bones. — George R R Martin

How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ... no eight! — Bill Bailey

I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open. — Steven Wright

I'm attracted to a lot of hot guys. If Chris Hemsworth were here, I'd light him up like a firecracker with how fast I'd jump on him. — Jeaniene Frost

I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby ... — Erma Bombeck

Humor makes our heavy burdens light and smoothes the rough spots in our pathways. — Sam Ervin

He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower. — Terry Pratchett

Aunt Agatha is my tough aunt, the one who eats broken bottles and conducts human sacrifices by the light of the full moon. — P.G. Wodehouse

As an anonymous wit is supposed to have put it: Hydrogen is a light, odorless gas which, given enough time, changes into people. — David Christian

Humor is unavoidable. It might not feel funny in the moment, but more often than not there's a light at the end of the tunnel. — Ron Howard

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work? — Steven Wright

When bad things happen, I know you want to believe they are a joke, But sometimes life is scary and dark. That is why we must find the light. — Adventure Time

If you see the light at the end
of the tunnel, you're looking
through binoculars the wrong
way — Josh Stern

A cigarette is like a hamster, harmless until you stick it in your mouth and light it on fire. — Jim Pickens

When I was on acid, I would see things like beams of light and I would hear sounds that sounded an awful lot like car horns. — Mitch Hedberg

A light heart can carry the most weight. — Marty Rubin

I see light at the end of the tunnel. — Walt Whitman Rostow

Do you see that out there? The strange, unfamiliar light? It's called the sun. Let's go get us a little. — Nora Roberts

Don't you wish we all lived in black light ... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it — Josh Stern

There's a difference between preferring books to parties and preferring sixteen cats to seeing the light of day. — Lauren Morrill

I'm here," I continued, "to guide you into the light of truth, decency and perhaps pants. — Paul Rudnick

Theology, philosophy, metaphysics, and quantum physics are merely ways for God to have his smart people believe in him — Jeremy Aldana

The Devil himself had probably re-designed Hell in the light of the information he had gained from observing airport layouts. — Anthony Price

The light at the end of the tunnel is another train heading straight for you. — Joey Green

You're fucking kidding me, right?"
"I don't kid about fucking. — Stacey Marie Brown

You are the light of the world. Shine brightly. Smile beautifully! Rejoice daily! — Brenda M. McGraw

I don't know if humor has a place for it but being light hearted does and not to take it too seriously. — John Assaraf

Not that I haven't leaped up into the blinding light of competence now and then. It's sustaining the altitude that defeats me. — Lois McMaster Bujold

I'm a humor writer, so I don't always present myself in the best light. — Jen Lancaster

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick learned while mastering the art of living. — Viktor E. Frankl

Misa: I can't even imagine a world without light!
L: Well yes, that would be quite dark. — Takeshi Obata