Life Humorous Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Life Humorous
Life Humorous Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Life Humorous quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I have always pictured accupuncture like falling into a box of sewing needles, and then standing up refreshed and free of pain.
— Neil Leckman
The good or ill hap of a good or ill life, is the good or ill choice of a good or ill wife.
— Benjamin Franklin
Time may be defined as " dimension governed by activity." Dimension diminishes with inactivity so does the value of time.
— Moutasem Algharati
Life is a circle. It spins you around.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
Among the top ten things I've learned in life: when your hair stylist is having a bad day, reschedule.
— P.M. Terrell
I've admired a lot of people in my life time and some of them were actually alive.
— Stanley Victor Paskavich
Common sense is a tool that isn't in everyone's shed.
— Tanya Masse
Life is not for understanding or to known rather it is for living & only for living
— Nitin Yaduvanshi
If you have more cavities than you have teeth you've led a 'Sweet' life.
— Stanley Victor Paskavich
Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
— George Burns
Life is about more that quotes about life
— John Chaplin
He bowed over her hand and kissed the knuckles. He'd never despised a glove more in his life.
— Kristi Ann Hunter
Sometimes life takes oreos. But we have to learn to deal with it.
— Kayleigh Zubrod
I love the very exposed, humorous, imperfect, never-trying to-pretend-to-be-perfect journey that I have been on in my life.
— Drew Barrymore
Selling eternal life is an unbeatable business, with no customers ever asking for their money back after the goods are not delivered.
— Victor J. Stenger
The most overpowering will is the will to not work.
— Saleem Sharma
Looking back, I realize that my life has been a series of incidents where one person has said to another, "Get this asshole outta here!"
— George Carlin
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
— George Bernard Shaw
Hindsight is usually more tragic than helpful.
— Linda S. Godfrey
My favorite quote in the world is this one.
— Richelle E. Goodrich
I get a kick out of cursing people for life on Sundays.
— Emily Kirby
Life plots elegantly.
— Alice Randall
I have never seen so much male hotness in one place in my entire life," Rach rasps. "I fucking love America.
— Siobhan Davis
Life is too short to be treated shabbily.
— C.S. Reid
When you lead a life of scholarship you can't be bothered with the humorous realities, you know, tits, that kind of thing.
— Harold Pinter
If I had a nickel for all the times I've been shushed in my life? Bam! Instant millionaire!
— Christy Hall
I'm like a stray cat. If you feed me, I don't leave.
— Michelle M. Pillow
Water is the most essential element in life, because without it you can't make coffee.
— Karen Salmansohn
Apollo wanted out. Out of Aphrodite, out of this bathroom, out of this house, and out of this life.
— Marie Phillips
Just because someone's a pain in the ass in life, doesn't mean when they're dead, we shouldn't be respectful.
— M. Judeth Nelson
This isn't where I intended to be. Killing a person has a funny way of getting your life off-track.
— Erin Mitchell
If I'll be funnier than this, I'll become a joke.
— Chandan Sharma
Play and be happy.
— Lailah Gifty Akita
It's human nature to view life from our own reality.This causes serious problems when a rescue mission is being led by the senile or insane. — Jaime Buckley
When life gives you lemons, find a friend whose life has given them tequila and have a party.
— Nefertiti Faraj
When I need some striking inspiration about deep depression for my new painting, I just need to go to check my bank account ...
— Hiroko Sakai
Don't tell me you have OCD about this?""OCD, ADHD - pretty sure if they come up with some new acronym tomorrow I'd have it. — Cyma Rizwaan Khan
Obviously life was a mean girl, and she was its bitch.
— Naima Simone
Life is just one small piece of light between two eternal darknesses.
— Vladimir Nabokov
There's no such thing as a sane woman.
— Andrew Sturm
I mean. You put puppies in a store front, I will stop and giddily stare. Every. Single. Time.
— Christy Hall
I guess 'joint' would imply two people had ownership, which, thanks Life, is simply no longer the case.
— Ann Benjamin
Why had his mother gone to the trouble of bringing him into the world if the most exciting moment in his life was having been made lame by a bayonet?
— Felix J. Palma
He has his head in the clouds. He must live in a skyscraper.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
You are a curse in my life!
— Charles Perrault
Sweetie, you don't need to drive me to the brink of insanity ... I'm close enough to walk!
— Tanya Masse
Life is too transcendentally humorous for a man not to take it seriously. Compared with it, Death is but a shallow jest.
— William John Locke
Life is way too short, so try to enjoy every minute of it with a sense of humor!
— Christina Scalise
Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man".
— Russell Beland
Throughout life try to remember ... to always keep your head up high and your middle finger higher!
— Timothy Pina
I'll share my life with you. But, not my doughnuts.
— Crystal Woods
In Wilson's scale of evaluations breakfast rated just after life itself and ahead of the chance of immortality.
— Robert A. Heinlein
I can imagine no more comfortable frame of mind for the conduct of life than a humorous resignation.
— W. Somerset Maugham
Until you have experienced raccoons mating underneath your bedroom at three in the morning, you have missed one of life's sensational moments.
— Robert Fulghum
It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
— Milton Berle
The profoundly humorous writers are humorous because they are responsive to the hopeless, uncouth, concatenations of life.
— V.S. Pritchett
He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
When I was a younger man and had a life, I owned an El Camino pickup in the '70s. It was a real sort of Southern deal. I had Astroturf in the back.
— William J. Clinton
Always take a compliment, even if it's not yours
— Benny Bellamacina
People who leave their drugs in a bathroom the guests use are just asking for trouble.
— Stephen King
Overflowing with the milk of human kindness, the family had invited everyone they could think of, including people they cordially disliked.
— Gerald Durrell
It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people.
— F Scott Fitzgerald
I can see the humorous side of things and enjoy the fun when it comes; but look where I will, there seems to me always more sadness than joy in life.
— Jerome K. Jerome
I have a headache. If only I had a crown to put on!
— Ljupka Cvetanova
I nurture very good intentions about you. May you die in peace.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
Real life ... Witches: Wiccan practitioners. Werewolves: rare strain of rabies. Zombies: Prions/Plague. Vampires: Hemophilia/Porphyria
— Solange Nicole
Can you imagine life without the horror genre? There would be no monsters. Only a**holes.
— Michael A. Arnzen
He thought moving to a small town would allow him to find a way to get along to some extent but people were just plain idiots.
— Christine Feehan
A perfect method of adding drama to life is to wait until the deadline looms large.
— Alyce Cornyn-Selby
Nice guys finish last but bad guys don't finish at all.
— Matshona Dhliwayo
Life is full of things that can kill me, you vampire m*****f****r, and you sure as shit can just get in line!Dr. Adin Tredeger — Z.A. Maxfield
If you want to add some variety to your sex life, why don't you just use your other hand?" ~ Gabi
— Cherise Sinclair
You know your life is completely screwed up when you have to look up the mythological figures who talk to you in the bathroom mirror.
— Maurissa Guibord
Life's a crapshoot, Sam. At least you filled the cheap seats.
— Robert Bruce Cormack
Men fight like men. Women fight like unchained demons.
— Heather Blanton
Life sometimes confuses us by making us discover in someone we hate a quality or qualities we love.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
In his life there was only one woman. The other one.
— Ljupka Cvetanova