Life Humor Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Life Humor

Life Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Life Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

In order to grow, I promise you'll have to let go of some habits. 10 times out of 10, they'll be the habits you're most in love with. — Brandi L. Bates

You need to be my wife to win with me. — Pawan Mishra

The question isn't who will be with me in life, rather how will I create the ending I am proud of? — Shannon L. Alder

The greatest Jewish tradition is to laugh. The cornerstone of Jewish survival has always been to find humor in life and in ourselves. — Jerry Seinfeld

If a woman cannot make her mistakes charming, she is only a female. — Oscar Wilde

Emma, okay, enough with the singing. Mommy's getting a three-pill headache. — Jeff Abbott

Did you ever wish you had a book that would explain the full meaning of life's random happenings to you? — Mariko Tamaki

Don't fear change. Just fear everything and everyone else. — Jesse Petersen

The thing about growing old is that when you wake up with a new pain, you can just about count on it becoming a permanent part of your life! — Marjorie Pay Hinckley

The girl in your class who suggests that this year the Drama Club put on The Bald Soprano will be a thorn in people's sides all of her life. — Fran Lebowitz

Every intelligent being, whether it breathes or not, coughs nervously at some time in its life. — Terry Pratchett

Philosophers, Poets and Fools have similar Consciousness — Amit Gupta

Cake is one of life's great wonders, and who would deny wonder to a child? — Lauren Child

I'm dealing with a lot of scary things. I think you have to react to them. And you either laugh at them or you go insane. — Jim Butcher

We seemed to be trapped in an episode of One Life To Waste. It's all very dull. — Cassandra Clare

Yours most sincerely,
Peter Van Houten
c/o Lidewij Vliegnthart
"WHAT?!" I shouted aloud. "WHAT IS THIS LIFE? — John Green

Somehow people forget that there is God ...
what more to us we're just individuals,,
to forget is part of imperfections.. — Orosa Nakpil Malate

Chocolate may be cheaper than a psychiatrist, but the latter doesn't generally adhere to your ass for the rest of your natural life. — Lois Greiman

All fiction is better with explosions' said Jared. 'Basic fact of life. — Sarah Rees Brennan

When life hands you lemons sometimes you just have to say screw the lemons, and bail. — Magan Vernon

In sooth, thy life sounds passing strange and shitty. — Austin Grossman

I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer. — Woody Allen

I've just found out I'm allergic to nut-cases — Benny Bellamacina

PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE
I have so much to do today.
I can't possibly get it all done,
so I'm not going to start. — Chocolate Waters

Most creatures run when they sense danger. People grab a six-pack and a folding chair. — Nenia Campbell

Life's funny. Sometimes it's your oyster, and sometimes you're it's bitch-slapped man-whore. — Lois Greiman

My life is so bad that it's worse than it really is. — Brian Spellman

Life is a Game; More you play, More you learns — Harishankar Kaushik Hsk

Live, die, something else lives. The very soil humanity walks upon is built up from death. Digging into a flowerbed means digging into bones. — M. Jones

Out here, it's better safe than sorry, because generally speaking, too much of the time sorry means you're dead. — Patricia C. Wrede

Life sucks, then you die. Then it sucks again. — Tonya Hurley

This world, I am afraid, is designed for crashing bores. — Morrissey

I could spend the rest of my life writing and drawing books for kids and be a very happy man. — Daniel Sean Kaye

The stupidest people suddenly become a little cleverer when we learn that they think well of us — Jude Morgan

Why would I draw the short straw? — Kresley Cole

One is forced to examine one's life when trapped in the wall by a Murphy bed. — Cheryl McKay

I really hate sitcoms on television with canned laughter and stuff. What really makes me laugh is the real-life stuff. I've got a dry sense of humor. — Katie Price

Thanks, Dad, for leaving a huge void in my life that Freud says has to be filled with dick. — Leah Raeder

When life hands you lemons say,
"Lemons? What else have you got?"
- bumper sticker — Darynda Jones

The termination; final chapter of endless road. — Usha Cosmico

Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another. — Lemony Snicket

Because being a smart-ass is always preferable to being a dumb-ass. — Arlaina Tibensky

A sense of humor is an escape valve for the pressures of life. — Richard G. Scott

Humor is a way of holding off how awful life can be, to protect yourself. — Kurt Vonnegut

I should think a dead language would be rather boring, socially
speaking. — Sol Luckman

I feel no grief for being called something
which
I am not;
in fact, it's enthralling, somehow, like a good
back rub — Charles Bukowski

People in real life don't get ballplayers' humor, the way we talk in the clubhouse. — Justin Verlander

Life is complex. It has real and imaginary parts. — Anonymous

If we really exist merely to fulfill God's plan: then life is a television drama; with God being the scriptwriter, the director, and, the audience. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. — Mark Twain

Anything designed to be inoffensive isn't worth your time
life itself is pretty offensive, ending as it does with death. — Holly Lisle

Trust is not hoping your partner will love you; it is KNOWING that they DO. — Julieanne O'Connor

Lord, give me a sense of humor so that I may take some happiness from this life and share it with others. — Thomas More

Man craves joy far more than anything else in life, but there is nothing as madly intoxicating as the feeling of joy that comes from the soul. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

I don't make the rules, I just make it up. — L. Davyd Pollack

All men have their frailties; and whoever looks for a friend without imperfections, will never find what he seeks. — Cyrus The Great

If people are talking behind your back, then just fart. — Thabang Gideon Magaola

The Standard Pace is for chumps. — Timothy Ferriss

Welcome to the gates of heaven Adelia, and what did you do with your life? My Lord, I was a bishop's whore. — Ariana Franklin

Life makes fun of us and we should help it. — David Brandon

Dress for success. Also arm yourself for it. — Jesse Petersen

For Aaron, looking like a skeleton was very much for life, not just for Halloween — Kestral M. Gaian

My grandmother said sex was the best gift God ever gave to mankind-I think it is over rated. — Brenda Kay Winters

Life is a pigsty. — Morrissey

Apparently, faith in life is one thing and faith in literature is another. — Gerald Weaver

A generous donor (who had no doubt lived a life that imperiled his mortal soul) had granted [the Sisters] more than one hundred waterfront acres. — Kristin Hannah

Always stay one step a head, unless you're already there — Benny Bellamacina

I keep dying and hoping you notice me. But you're too busy living. — F.K. Preston

In real life, Josh [Gad] is a different kind of lovable idiot. In real life, he's a much filthier idiot. He has a dirty sense of humor. — Josh Gad

Twenty to life, she got, with time off for good behavior. You come around next spring. I'll introduce you. — Alfred Hitchcock

If u want to work in Corporate, then u should know how to play Chess. — Honeya

Life is like the stock market. Some days you're up. Some days you're down. And some days you feel like something the bull left behind. — Paula Wall

people don't generally believe themselves to be evil. Just strong. And they think that the world owes them something — Mary Elizabeth Summer

It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot. — George Carlin

If life is a game... I need new dice! — Jay Little

Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that's beautiful. — Rashida Jones

I had a dream about you last night. We watched pornography together, but purely for the storyline. — Michael Summers

Deborah's little house was lavishly decorated in I-have-no-life modern. — Jeff Lindsay

Once upon a time,
there was a Zen sign
at every small railway crossing in America

Stop. Look. And listen. — Dick Allen

Humor is the contemplation of the finite from the point of view of the infinite. — Christian Morgenstern

I had a dream about you last night ... you were a giant slinky and I watched you fall down the stairs. — Amy Summers

Life is like coffee, the darker it gets, the more it energizes. — Ankita Singhal

I grew up once, I decided never to do it again — Benny Bellamacina

Smartass Disciple: Master, that guy's teaching is somehow annoying me.
Master of Stupidity: Only as long as you stay tuned for pissed-off channel. — Toba Beta

Your own brain ought to have the decency to be on your side! — Terry Pratchett

I do find things funny. When you see life through the eyes of someone with a good sense of humor, which my grandmother did, life is a human comedy. — George Takei

People who leave their drugs in a bathroom the guests use are just asking for trouble. — Stephen King

Talking about a problem sometimes makes it worse. — Dean Koontz

Life is an adventure! So live it up! — L.M. Preston

Life is a very brief candle especially when you burn it at both ends — Josh Stern

I don't eat food, I eat fat. — Bradley Wright

From space this Earth is incandescent with abominations - the gods write their signature in our entrails — Steve Aylett

MJ never danced for humor, he danced because it was his life, and that's how he offered up his soul to this soulless world. — Emrah Serbes

Happy are those who expect nothing; they won't be disappointed — Abel

I'm quite certain that if I lost my sense of humor, it would most definitely need to be replaced by a padded cell. — Tanya Masse

Someone dying asks if there is life after death. Yes, comes the answer, only not yours. — E.L. Doctorow

No Matter what you're, Matter is ; What you do. — Harishankar Kaushik

Don't play the reels of your life backwards - play them forward. — Art Hochberg

Let me tell you: the only way to get rid of dragons is to have one of your own. — Eugene Shvarts

It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people. — F Scott Fitzgerald