Lewis Grizzard Quotes
Collection of top 35 famous quotes about Lewis Grizzard
Lewis Grizzard Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Lewis Grizzard quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
God bless Merle Haggard. He did all the things that Johnny Cash was supposed to have done.
— Lewis Grizzard
It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.
— Lewis Grizzard
Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.
— Lewis Grizzard
Spring time is the land awakening.
— Lewis Grizzard
If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.
— Lewis Grizzard
The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.
— Lewis Grizzard
I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
— Lewis Grizzard
There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.
— Lewis Grizzard
The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.
— Lewis Grizzard
Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
— Lewis Grizzard
Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.
— Lewis Grizzard
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
— Lewis Grizzard
If Love Were Oil, / I'd Be About a Quart Low.
— Lewis Grizzard
Let's all start walking more and driving less.
— Lewis Grizzard
The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wiggle out of one.
— Lewis Grizzard
If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi
— Lewis Grizzard
They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.
— Lewis Grizzard
I get letters from people who say, 'What have you got against women?' What could I possibly have against women? I've married three of them.
— Lewis Grizzard
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
— Lewis Grizzard
You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'
— Lewis Grizzard
I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.
— Lewis Grizzard
It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.
— Lewis Grizzard
Show business is my life.
— Lewis Grizzard
Chilli dawgs always bark at night.
— Lewis Grizzard
There's no such thing as being too Southern.
— Lewis Grizzard
If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground.
— Lewis Grizzard
Elvis is dead and I don't feel good for myself.
— Lewis Grizzard
If you ain't the lead dog, the view never changes.
— Lewis Grizzard
