Lenny Bruce Quotes: top 82 famous quotes about Lenny Bruce

Lenny Bruce Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Lenny Bruce quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I've talked to biblical cats, and Neanderthals who been here since day one. No one here has even seen the Big Boss. Ever. — Lenny Bruce

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone. — Lenny Bruce

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like What I'm Going to be If I Grow Up — Lenny Bruce

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God. — Lenny Bruce

(On his addiction to opiods): I'll die young, but it's like kissing God. — Lenny Bruce

I want to perform an unnatural act. — Lenny Bruce

Once you take away the struggle for food, clothing and shelter, work is the one four letter word that offends everyone. — Lenny Bruce

When I was 16 or 17, I saw Lenny Bruce being taken to jail. They took him off stage because he talked about race. — Paul Mooney

If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer. — Lenny Bruce

She was Bloomingdale's, not Victoria Secret. She was vanilla, not peach. She was Paul Reiser, not Lenny Bruce. This was not my kind of chick. — Christopher Paul Meyer

Lenny Bruce described flamenco as being an art form wherein a dancer applauds his own ass. — David Rakoff

On the comedy side of what I love as a filmmaker are Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce, and Eddie Murphy; those are my favorites. — David Dobkin

Mother Goose is on the loose, stealing lines from Lenny Bruce. — Phil Ochs

In my opinion, Lenny Bruce was more of an influence on Zappa's satirical lyric's than anyone that I know of. — Jimmy Carl Black

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them. — Lenny Bruce

When you're eight years old nothing is your business. — Lenny Bruce

Trying to figure things out was my gig. Without the human condition, there's no struggle, no pain and that means no laughter. — Lenny Bruce

What you end up with is outrageousness without the laugh - comedy as electro shock therapy. — Lenny Bruce

Once the country was settled and built, the bosses changed the order from a stack of educated workers to a barrel of minimum wage lottery dreamers. — Lenny Bruce

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses. — Lenny Bruce

You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth. — Lenny Bruce

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds. — Lenny Bruce

Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago. — Lenny Bruce

There is only what is and that's it. What should be is a dirty lie. — Lenny Bruce

Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days. — Lenny Bruce

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know. — Lenny Bruce

Anyone who does anything for pleasure to indulge his selfish soul will surely burn in Hell. — Lenny Bruce

I'd heard that Lenny Bruce used a lot of profanity and obscenities in his act, and I was curious. — Sheldon Harnick

That's where the conflict starts. We all want for a wife a combination Sunday school teacher and a $500-a-night hooker. — Lenny Bruce

I mean, I was always interested in people like Lenny Bruce, people who are breaking the old rules and making new ones. — Faye Dunaway

There are no dirty words, only dirty minds. — Lenny Bruce

Joan Rivers telling Lauren Bacall her dress is all wrong is like Carrot Top telling Lenny Bruce he needs to get an edge. — Dennis Miller

Never trust a preacher with more than two suits. — Lenny Bruce

Anyone who has two shirts when someone has none is not a christian. — Lenny Bruce

When homosexuals were repressed, you got Tennessee Williams. Today's tolerance got you Hilton Perez. — Lenny Bruce

I am influenced by every second of my waking hour. — Lenny Bruce

Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone. — Lenny Bruce

Life is a four-letter word. — Lenny Bruce

There's always a down side with any freedom. It's not just homosexual freedom, but any sexual freedom comes at a price, and that is usually art. — Lenny Bruce

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter. — Lenny Bruce

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die. — Lenny Bruce

You put a guy on a desert island, he'll do it to mud, a chicken, a barrel, anything, a knothole. — Lenny Bruce

I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God. — Lenny Bruce

The American Constitution was not written to protect criminals; it was written to protect the government from becoming criminals. — Lenny Bruce

Even if you are Catholic, if you live in New York you're Jewish. If you live in Butte, Montana, you are going to be goyish even if you are Jewish. — Lenny Bruce

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls. — Lenny Bruce

I'm sure that half the buzz from smoking grass was the fact that it was so illegal. — Lenny Bruce

Freedom of speech is a two way street, man. You have the right to say whatever you want and the Boss has a right to tell the police to arrest you. — Lenny Bruce

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her. — Lenny Bruce

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do. — Lenny Bruce

If I just stuck to pot I might have found out what a drag being an aging hipster actually was. — Lenny Bruce

I was surprised when Nixon passed the test and showed up in heaven, but, I guess Hitler threw off the curve for our century. — Lenny Bruce

But the only comparison that I want to Lenny Bruce is that I'm funny. I'm Freddie Prinze, Puerto Rican all the way. — Freddie Prinze

The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is. — Lenny Bruce

Lenny Bruce died from an overdose of police — Phil Spector

Communism is just one big telephone company. — Lenny Bruce

Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood. — Lenny Bruce

If you can't say "Fuck" you can't say, "Fuck the government. — Lenny Bruce

Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich. — Lenny Bruce

Once you sleep on feathers you can't go back to sleeping on the floor. — Lenny Bruce

It's the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the viciousness. — Lenny Bruce

If there was absolute freedom, people would run over babies and charge admission. — Lenny Bruce

Lenny Bruce is a very moral man trying to improve the world and trying to make audiences think. — Dorothy Kilgallen

Bill Maher fancies himself the reincarnation of Lenny Bruce. — Bernard Goldberg

If I get busted in New York, the freest city in the world, that will be the end of my career — Lenny Bruce

If you're going to stop masturbating, you can't taper off. You've got to quit, cold jerky! — Lenny Bruce

There are never enough 'I love you's. — Lenny Bruce

I credit the motion picture industry as the strongest environmental factor in molding the children of my day. — Lenny Bruce

I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce. — Lenny Bruce

My influences were Woody Allen and Lenny Bruce. — David Steinberg

Communism is like one big phone company. — Lenny Bruce

Take away the right to say 'fuck' and you take away the right to say 'fuck the government. — Lenny Bruce

Every group needs a comedian. A comic who is politically incorrect at the Berkeley campus might slay them at a Klan rally. — Lenny Bruce

TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd. — Lenny Bruce

There's a lot of money in wars, except in the war on poverty. Can't make any bread helping the poor. — Lenny Bruce

I know what "custody" [of the children] means. "Get even." That's all custody means. Get even with your old lady. — Lenny Bruce

Satire is tragedy plus time. — Lenny Bruce

If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish — Lenny Bruce

When earth gets good and crowded, like 15th century England, then some new Pilgrims are gonna rocket their Mayflowers to a new solar system. — Lenny Bruce

People are leaving the church and going back to God. — Lenny Bruce

I was about 12 when I heard my first Lenny Bruce record. He was already dead. But it changed my life and really did change the world. — Penn Jillette

You can't just run out and start the car until some cat invents a car. — Lenny Bruce