Kill You Funny Quotes: top 61 famous quotes about Kill You Funny

Kill You Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Kill You Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Julia had it easy... She never had to kill Romeo — Richelle Mead

My cousin fell in love with a dom, so I checked into it to see if I needed to kill him before they got married. — Cherise Sinclair

What? Why are you making the glee nose? The death of my world is funny? The final vengeance of my people? I will kill you. — Jackson Lanzing

You will not kill my girlfriend today, International Terrorists of Ambiguous Nationality! — John Green

I am so stupid, so easily fooled. It's really almost funny. If I could lift a finger I would gladly kill myself. — Will Christopher Baer

My main objective is to be professional but to kill him. — Mike Tyson

I really hate it when people want to kill me. It makes me think they don't want to be friends. - Raven from Blood of Prey — R.J. Dennis

You can't kill us all, human.'
He was right. I raised the machine gun a little. 'True, but who's going to be first in line? — Laurell K. Hamilton

I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer. — David Sedaris

Hervey (Weinstein) thank you for killing whoever you had to kill to get me up here today — Jennifer Lawrence

I know it's hard on her. If I don't tell her she'll kill me." He pauses. "That was supposed to be funny. — Julie Anne Peters

What doesn't kill you makes you CRAZY, GRUMPY, MAD AS EVER? NO it makes you STRONGER! Yep,you'll get there eventually! — Karen Gibbs

Oh the wonders of being married. Put a gun in one hand and a woman in the other, I'm never sure who's going to kill me first. — Michael W. Grimard

Airplanes may kill you, but they ain't likely to hurt you. — Satchel Paige

Animals raise their children, too. I don't know why they keep them around. Kill 'em and be done with it. — Liz Braswell

Why would I go looking for someone I know wants to kill me? — J.K. Rowling

IF WE DIE FOR THEM, I'LL KILL YOU, HARRY! — J.K. Rowling

It's funny how those we care about can create the same reaction that we get when we are facing down a monster ready to kill us. — Brandy Nacole

Wiping the rivulet of sweat running down my ear with the bottom of my muscle shirt, I snuck a sniff under my pit. Whoa. Kill a moose — Julie Anne Peters

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill. — Christina Aguilera

I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in. — Bill Burr

I picked up a transsexual hooker named Thor, all six feet of her, at the off ramp to Eau Claire, Wisconsin, as I was driving up north to kill a man. — J.A. Konrath

So they finally gave you the license to kill, about time. — Richelle Mead

Nothing is impossible to kill. It's just that sometimes after you kill something you have to keep shooting it until it stops moving — Mira Grant

I mean what good does it do anyone to kill themselves working, because the worms will get you in the end. — Dorothy Gish

And it's really very difficult to kill someone when all your inner instincts would oblige you to take off your hat first! — Susan Kay

My love is sticky, like glue. I'd kill a horse just to give you some. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

It never ceases to amaze me how many people think I kill for fun."
"Don't you?"
"Well, not just for fun. — Karen Chance

There's always someone we'd love to kill, the trick is to make it not look like an accident — Josh Stern

Do not use a cannon to kill a mosquito. — Confucius

Well, I think Leo's either going to learn a much needed lesson in social activity-- or go nuts and kill us all." -Crash — Hazel Blackthorn

Hate is funny. Love isn't. Love can kill you. Hate can keep you alive. — Carol Grace

A classroom . People trying to stick me in classrooms was becoming as predictable and annoying as people trying to kill me, but with less-fun results. — James Patterson

I don't just randomly kill people ... I kill people when it's funny. — Neil Gaiman

Just stay close to us. If we get in trouble, we'll kill everything. — Ilona Andrews

(If plan KTB kill the bastard) didn't work, well, gray would resort to Plan B: Operation Oh Sh** — Gena Showalter

Congratulations your 18! ... On a list of 20 people I'm going to kill. — Frankie Boyle

I have a rule: I prefer anyone who doesn't try to kill me to anyone who does. I'm funny that way. — China Mieville

If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you. — Billy Wilder

You named the chicken, Chicken?"
She looked embarrassed. "When we decided not to kill it, I got attached. — Tracey Garvis-Graves

Maybe you should make me a list of people I can kill and ways in which they're allowed to die," he said. "You are not funny." "I'm very funny. — Ilona Andrews

If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what's funny in the joke. — Richard Russo

Well. Yes. Someone's trying to kill me. But you don't have to make such a big deal out of it. — Sarah Rees Brennan

Anyone who thinks text messages are funny isn't going to kill himself. There isn't enough going on internally. — Nick Hornby

Time heals all wounds. Unless they're infected. Like gangrene. That shit'll kill you. — Johnny Moscato

Raphael met Michaela's gaze. "If you could kill every single beautiful woman in the world, would you?"
Her smile never faded. "In an instant. — Nalini Singh

My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," - 'til the accident. — Jimmy Carr

You're gonna sit down. You're gonna shut up. And by the grace of God Almighty, I ain't gonna kill you. — Lois Greiman

Maybe curiosity did kill your cat. But it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on the neighbor's rottweiler just the same. — Lois Greiman

You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting. — Adam Carolla

I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, 'Whoa, I'm way too high!' — Bruce Baum

If I could go into the woods and kill a bear myself, I'd wear it proudly as a trophy. — Nigella Lawson

You funny thing! So selfish, so practical. Never mind. I will not ask you to kill me, for you would surely find it an annoying task. — Nisi Shawl

Vamps were homebodies - high-maintenance, party-till-you-die, don't-look-at-me-funny-or-I'll-kill-you homebodies, but homebodies nevertheless. — Kim Harrison

I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen. — George Carlin

Yeah, I'm scared. I'm scared I might kill Schmeling. — Joe Louis

You kill me and I'll see that you never work in this town again. — Steve Martin

Summer was going to kill her. Whenever Love did tell Jacorey, that was going to be some funny shit. Rain — A'Zayler

He's my father, whoever he is, so he must have had sex with my mother at least once, and I'd love to kill him for that. — Dean Koontz

Kill first, ask questions of the corpse later — G.A. Aiken

Kill the unclean one!
Being called that was really getting old. Like it'd been funny the first two times ... — Kresley Cole