Joking Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Joking

Joking Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Joking quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Would you think I was joking if I said that you can put a clock back, and that if the clock is wrong it is often a very sensible thing to do? — C.S. Lewis

Never call a girl fat, even if you're joking. — Demi Lovato

One of the greatest gifts in this world is the ability to make others smile. - The Unauthorized Autobiography of Jonathan Fisher — J.E.B. Spredemann

When I am working, I have two shows on Saturday, and when I wake up, and it's a lovely day, I just cry. I'm joking: I love my job. — Elena Roger

Bulletproof is about the fact that I was shot in the face and survived. Nah I'm joking that'd be grisly and awful. — Thom Yorke

I flew into New York for the Raising Arizona audition, and we just started joking around. — John Goodman

Immediately I give myself a little mental slap. Fishing for compliments is a cardinal sin. "Never mind, I was only joking. — Sally Thorne

As professionals, we just try to keep the jokes to a minimum, when we're in a certain situation. When we're not doing that, we're joking. — Mike Colter

[To reporter who telephoned with news of her Oscar:] If you are joking me, I will get up immediately and kill you wherever you are. — Anna Magnani

Sometimes When You Are Serious, People Thought You Were Joking, But Sometimes When You Are Joking, People Thought You Were Serious — Harry Toh Jun Shen

If I'd been joking I would have said, a blind guy walks into a bar. And a table. And a couple of chairs. — Anonymous

Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking. — Amy Sedaris

You aren't angry "
"You must be joking " she said dryly. "I'm alive Nicholas. And I'm immortal like you. This rocks — Lynsay Sands

Joking apart, now let us be serious. — Horace

Don't, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls.
We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat.
George!
Only joking, Mum. — J.K. Rowling

Can you eat all of that?" "Are you joking? Of course I can." Xander acts offended. — Ally Condie

Life can be a waste by jesting and joking away their time. — Sunday Adelaja

America, tell me you're joking. Tell me you didn't assault the prince. — Kiera Cass

Joking with somebody's emotions makes you cold person. — Deyth Banger

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world. — George Bernard Shaw

I love Twitter. My favorite thing to do these days is to tweet things that seem very questionable as to whether I'm joking or not. — Max Greenfield

My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world. — Muhammad Ali

Well I'm a 5 year old at heart; I still think that there is a monster under my bed - and I'm not joking. It's pathetic, it's really not cute. — Eva Mendes

I might literally fall over dead if I meet Oprah Winfrey. I'm kind of joking, but I'm not confident that wouldn't happen. — Uzo Aduba

Lightness, jesting, and joking, can only be indulged at the expense of barrenness of soul, and the loss of the favor of God. — Ellen G. White

God? Nope." requel's smile told me she was joking around to make this easier for me "santa clause? No again. — Claudia Gray

I'm not joking you. I never joke people. Joke people and you make enemies. That's what I always say. — Ernest Hemingway,

It is not necessary for the public to know whether I am joking or whether I am serious, just as it is not necessary for me to know it myself. — Salvador Dali

joking. A slave needs privileges to keep him quiet. — Robert A. Heinlein

People complain that joking about serious subjects is 'making light' of them. Isn't that a good idea? Comedy lets the air out of the bully's tires. — Peter Baynham

I never trained in any acting, other than just joking around and doing my own dinky little videos. — Dylan O'Brien

Someone to whom jokes are never told soon contracts enthusiasm deficiency. — Hanif Kureishi

But it's the same with all my friends, just fun and joking, nothing more. I can never bring myself to talk of anything outside the common round. — Anne Frank

Why the hell are you wearing it on your left hand? I swear to God, if you're married I'm going to kick your ass. I'm not joking. — Abi Ketner

I steal, Winkle said, with a smile that said I'm joking and a glint in his eye that said I'm not. — Orson Scott Card

Mahlke couldn't joke. He sometimes tried. But everything he did, touched or said, became solemn, significant, monumental; — Gunter Grass

I would always be the kid that got in trouble in school, that's for sure, for joking around. — Matthew Perry

Of course, I'm only joking," he says, studying me. "The reason they're staring is because I am extraordinarily good looking. — Penelope King

It seems rather prophetic. We were just joking about this the other day."
"I know. Fate has annoying timing. — Kate Noble

Journalists never make it clear when you are joking. — David Bailey

I've seen 'Pride and Prejudice' about 4,000 times. I'm not joking: I know every single line. — Claire Foy

I can't imagine not joking even at the worst of times. And for me, it's sort of automatic. — Elizabeth McCracken

Boris come himself?" Vanov laughed. "Surely you're joking. Preparations for his wedding. — Eric Van Lustbader

Don't think that people hate you, strongly dislike is a better word for it. — Sarah Van Waterschoot

The happiness and the joy that I see in the eyes of the children. They saved my life so I want to, give it back. I'm not joking. — Michael Jackson

When the humours were handed out, Ankh-Morpork got the one for joking and Quirm had to do make do with their expertise in fine dining and love-making. — Terry Pratchett

I'm joking, it's not really hell," the voice went on. "It's worse than hell, not that I've ever actually been there. You're in Villete. — Paulo Coelho

I like working solo and it was a lot of fun joking around with the audience, saying things. I'm only just learning how to do certain things. — Art Garfunkel

I'm joking, I'm joking. Best decision I ever made. — Joe Biden

My dad keeps joking about sneaking into my grandparents' house and switching out their HBO for PBS so they think I'm on 'Downton Abbey.' — Allison Williams

Maybe you're going insane."
"Maybe," agreed Kernel.
"I was joking."
"I wasn't. — Darren Shan

I am always joking and always clowning, giving and helping. — Red Buttons

Kidding?" He asked; rolling the foreign word over in his mouth like he tasted something sour.
"Yeah, you know. Joking. Ha ha ha." I said. — Micalea Smeltzer

I heard that you could help me."
"Me? That's impossible," said Oshino in a joking tone of voice. "Only you can help yourself, ojou-chan. — NisiOisiN

The Doctor: I've seen bigger.
Clara: Really?
The Doctor: Are you joking? It's massive! — Steven Moffat

Steady had always suspected Ethan "Ozzie" Sykes, despite his constant joking and bad taste in eighties music, was one tough motherfucker. — Julie Ann Walker

When god made man, she was only joking. — Unknown

This is your one chance. Tell me where the key is."
"Okay."
Serpine raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
"No, only joking. Do your worst. — Derek Landy

Joking is a barrier between man and the world. Joking is the enemy of love and poetry. — Milan Kundera

I like to watch a bit of Disney, sprinkle some cocaine on some melon and just sit and eat it. I'm joking, I'm joking. There's no Disney. — Paolo Nutini

Sometimes I wish that I hadn't learned how to crochet, I say, and Alice laughs. Obviously she thinks I'm joking, which is maybe for the best. — David Nicholls

I'm going to kiss you," he says.
Oh Jesus, is this happening? I'm not going to survive this.
"Please tell me you're not joking," I whisper. — Karina Halle

Anyone willing to do what is required to become president of the United States is thereby barred from taking that office. I'm only half joking — Alan Greenspan

I try to visit people in hospitals when I can, smiling and joking while I'm there. But when I leave, I just start crying. — Loretta Lynn

How do you know when a woman wants to kill you?" Rand mused. "When she knows your name?" Dobraine did not sound as if he were joking. — Robert Jordan

I've been joking that 'On the Road' is the prequel to 'The Road.' I don't know if that's a very good joke. — Kodi Smit-McPhee

The cybernetic operation?"
"No, the sex change."
The doctor's smile faltered.
"I'm joking. — Marissa Meyer

I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead. — Jimmy Carr

But enough joking. I am singing. This is all my life. — Placido Domingo

Don't worry, Jet. Just as long as we don't get into any situations that require grenades, we'll be fine." Indy said this like she wasn't joking. — Kristen Ashley

It's hard for a comic to be joking when your lines can't be funny. — Steven Michael Quezada

I could be joking and smiling [with infidels] and then cutting their throats in the next second. — Tarik Shah

I'm terrible at practical jokes. I do them too well, so they're not funny. I end up saying, 'Oh, no, I'm joking, I'm joking.' — Anna Torv

Black Mage: I was joking.
Red Mage: OH. See, I was confused by the total lack of comedy. — Brian Clevinger

A good Catholic boy like myself? You must be joking. Anyway, it kind of changes things when your equipment's used for business instead of pleasure — Tabitha McGowan

I never stopped joking around long enough to realize you weren't laughing anymore. — Alexandra Potter

When Henry Ford said, "The customer can have a car in any color as long as it's black," he was not joking. — Peter Drucker

I don't give sick days if you're playing in the snow." He's being funny, or trying to be funny. I can never tell which. — Zoe Cruz

I have a lot of faith in the power of joking to make something thoughtful. — Mallory Ortberg

The thought of seeing Malcolm and JB, of interacting with them and smiling and joking, seemed suddenly excruciating. — Hanya Yanagihara

Because friendship is about laughing when the other person is joking to make you feel better. Even if you don't find her joke all that funny. — Padma Venkatraman

My daughter will be reading about Pat Buchanan in a history book someday, and I am hanging out fist-bumping with him and joking with him. — Willie Geist

Love is such a confusing word. You think I'm joking but I'm not. — Michael Showalter

You're joking, Perce! You are actually joking, Percy ... I don't think I've heard you joke since you were- — J.K. Rowling

A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I'm joking and when I'm serious. — Eminem

You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a Who's Who survey with joking responses, and they never bothered to check the facts. — Chevy Chase

Is he seriously joking with me? The master of the dark art of raising the dead has become a standup comedian? Surely this is the end of the world. — David Estes

I'm not joking around when I've said occasionally, trying to learn how to play a D chord properly has been a very big thing for me. — Lou Reed

Joking decides great things, Stronger and better oft than earnest can. — John Milton

Don't be too nice to him," I teased. "He'll never leave. — Juliet Blackwell

When you see people say crazy things on our show, they mean this stuff,and that's easy to forget: They're not joking. — John Oliver

Life is too short not to do a little practical joking. — Krista Allen

I'm not one of those people who are, like, always joking in person. — Dave Franco

When you're given the gift of truth, you spend a lot of time trying to tone it down because it is already offensive enough. — Shannon L. Alder

Ingra just kept a straight face he hoped Vilenthe was joking. "Anyway." Ingra tried to bring the topic full circle — Charon Lloyd-Roberts

When I write on 'SNL,' I've found I'm most productive while collaborating and joking with friends and not being firmly attached to any one idea. — Cecily Strong

Is this some exercise in keeping a straight face? — Neal Stephenson

I'm gonna go hang myself in my closet now." After she's gone, I ask, "Is she joking?" "She's seventeen. It depends on the day. — Emma Chase

We think that tomorrow, unless we surrender, they may drop the moon on us."
"You're joking."
"Wish I was. — Neil Gaiman

By the way, all joking aside, do I call you Ghastly or Elder Bespoke?'
'You can call me whatever you like.'
Vex nodded. 'Thank you, Gladys. — Derek Landy