Joke Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Joke

Joke Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Joke quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I thought everybody was in on the joke. But I was the joke. — Billie Joe Armstrong

It ain't no joke when you lose your vinyl. — Afrika Bambaataa

Somebody cracks a joke, a whole row laughs, one witticism sets off another, and, like matches, they flare up and burn down. — Joseph Roth

I've never revved my car at a light for an attractive woman or an auto-rival, not even as a joke. — Penn Jillette

He who does not understand a joke, he does not understand Danish. — Georg Brandes

Shocked to see me?" I drawl at them, chuckling at the horrific joke. — Victoria Aveyard

I do wear wigs ... I sometimes make the joke about me standing on a hilltop with my hair blowing in the wind - and me too proud to run after it. — Dolly Parton

I've heard every pie joke in the book. I'm still waiting for an original one. — Jason Biggs

It started out as kind of a joke, and then it wasn't funny anymore because money became involved. Deep down, nothing about money is funny. — Charles Willeford

I have been sober for the longest time. Oh, it's over a decade now. No joke. — Dana Plato

I could become like that dyslexic agnostic in the old joke - the one who lies in bed and tries to figure out if his dog exists. — Anne Lamott

To even call them "units" is a joke. These were just mobs of men in uniforms, clerks — Max Brooks

One should never risk a joke, even of the mildest and most unexceptional charters, except among people of culture and wit. — Jean De La Bruyere

Hell-on-skis, can you hear me? This is flying cupcake. — Joss Stirling

There's an ancient philosophical joke that's much subtler than it seems. Question: Why is the Universe here? Answer: Where else would it be? — Arthur C. Clarke

My dear Boris, can you not take a joke?" "Was it a joke? — Agatha Christie

I legit can not parallel park. This is no joke! — Jennifer Damiano

A caricature is putting the face of a joke on the body of a truth. — Joseph Conrad

Is anything wrong, dear? the old joke went.
No, why?
You moved.
Just don't move. — Margaret Atwood

Imagination is no Joke, But a Wish — Jan Jansen

Often women are pitted against each other for an easy joke, so they fight or steal each other's boyfriends. That's not really true to life. — Hannah Simone

That sun is lookin' good ... and hot! Get it? Hilarious! My joke writers are awesome. — Tom Bergeron

Playing quarterback ... it's no joke ... The difference here with Johnny Manziel, there's a lot of style and very little substance. — Boomer Esiason

More you know, better advice you give. Less you know, more advice you give. — Gerry Geek

Sometimes I want to joke but my English isn't perfect. Sometimes people are wondering what I'm talking about. — Alexander Ovechkin

I am a rune a carrot a little joke — Walter Wykes

Don't have every dialog go in a straight line to solve the problem. Let your characters argue, be sarcastic, disagree or joke around. — Dan Alatorre

It was on old joke among underfed, angry sailors that should mutiny fail, the weight of their bodies would not be enough to hang them. — Marcus Rediker

Posterity was a vaudeville joke audible only to those with front-row seats ... — Roberto Bolano

You said "Hi", I to be polite will say "Bye"! — Deyth Banger

There is nothing that's off limits. If people think something is off limits, I make it my business to go make a joke about it; that's my job. — Anthony Jeselnik

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. — Oliver Herford

There used to be an old bad joke. I hope it's not so much a good joke anymore. 'Everybody's from Scranton; no one's in Scranton.' — Joe Biden

Is this some kind of joke?" "I have no sense of humor." She'd heard that about Raphael. — Larissa Ione

Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? Lemony Snicket : Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding. — Lemony Snicket

I really like comedy. There's always a choice, when you're writing: you can either go for the joke or you can go for the story, the important stuff. — David Chase

[When] you're dying laughing because your three-year-old made a fart joke, it doesn't matter what else is going on. That's real happiness. — Gwyneth Paltrow

You've really got to start hitting the books because it's no joke out here. — Harper Lee

I get just as much of a thrill out of constructing a good sentence that gets a laugh at the end as I do from a joke. — Julian Clary

The joke is, we all have the same punchline. — Chuck Palahniuk

I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not. — Lewis Black

Mahlke couldn't joke. He sometimes tried. But everything he did, touched or said, became solemn, significant, monumental; — Gunter Grass

I never stole a joke in my life. I just find them before they're lost. — Milton Berle

Puns are just another form of sarcasm, which may or may not make you - smile, giggle, or laugh. — Aniruddha Sastikar

When he smiles it's as if you'd just told him the first joke on earth. — Mitch Albom

Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all. — Muhammad Ali

the sign of a completely healthy mind is the ability to tell a truly sick joke or make a sick comment and laugh at it yourself. — L. Lee Watkins

I think that all filth is local ... and that a joke isn't a joke unless it's at somebody's expense — Christopher Hitchens

What did the zombie say to the whore?
Keep the tip! — Diana Rowland

But giving drugs to a cat is no joke, Kemp! — H.G.Wells

Running for me is a sport. It's not a joke. It's serious. — J. R. Martinez

If I should ever die, God forbid, I hope you will say, 'Kurt is up in heaven now.' That's my favorite joke. — Kurt Vonnegut

My first joke was about a company called Five Star Parking that was all over Philadelphia: 'Who's reviewing parking lots?' — Adam McKay

A joke is like building a mousetrap from scratch. You have to work pretty hard to make the thing snap when it is supposed to snap. — Kurt Vonnegut

Not every single way of saying the right thing is right. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The future of this nation, with the present generation, You must admit is nothing but a joke — Ira Gershwin

A lot of comedies fall apart because they just go from joke to joke, and the characters are all sort of being crazy off on their own. — Paul Feig

23 Doing wrong is j like a joke to a fool, but k wisdom is pleasure to a man of understanding. — Anonymous

If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke. — Hugh Elliot

I'm not much of a joke writer. — Ben Falcone

A comic strip has a rhythm and a pattern, and you got to get in and out quick. So you set up a joke, tell the joke, and done. — Stephan Pastis

You make a joke out of everything.
Life's too painful not to. — Richelle Mead

The joke or the pratfall is easy for me to do. — Sandra Bullock

I like to joke with my wife that she's the CEO of ... certainly of our household. — Scott Pruett

The public is gullible ... If [many satirists are] making the same joke, that's the danger. Then there's a solidifying effect and it becomes a truth. — Bill Maher

If you can't laugh at your life, then your life is a punchline in a bad joke. — Andrew Barger

Completely committed to adapting 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. This is not a joke. Christian Grey and Ana: potentially great cinematic characters. — Bret Easton Ellis

Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's. — Jonathan Tropper

Nothing's a joke with me. It just all comes out like one. — Lorrie Moore

Directing a movie is serious, it's not a joke. — Fred Durst

WHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

Ah. I see we are now into the second movement of the Nakamura Suite in G-Minor! — Kevin Sylvester

Medicine is a very old joke, but it still goes on. — Andre Maurois

He was not a practical joke nor was he a fool but he was determinedly original and had a vague and modest idea of himself as a legendary figure. — John Cheever

[he] had become the bloke in the joke: the last man on earth — Zadie Smith

That was Chas. Furious and black-hearted one minute, ready to crack a wry joke the next. — Colleen Gleason

I used to crack A joke when Sourav Ganguly is upset and make him happy , i usually speak in bengali which would make him laugh — Sachin Tendulkar

If u want to work in Corporate, then u should know how to play Chess. — Honeya

Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense. — Alan Moore

A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes. — Pawan Mishra

In Classical Greek the word pathos was the same for both suffering and experience. Those Greeks knew a good joke when they heard one. — Peter Straub

Luck was a joke. Even good luck was just bad luck with its hair combed. — Stephen King

It is almost a joke, but a joke that nobody tells. — Hilary Mantel

Oh you rebel you! — Mallory Hopkins

Everyone is a comedy. If people are laughing at you, they just don't quite understand the joke that is themselves. — Matt Haig

It's easy for someone to joke about scars if they've never been cut. — William Shakespeare

Government disinformation is an intelligent joke for smart generation. — Toba Beta

Never joke at funerals, or during business transactions. — Herman Melville

Most of my comedy is accidental, I would say. If I don't know what the joke is, I'm going to play it better than if I do. — Aya Cash

There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them. — Werner Heisenberg

The practical joke is the psychiatry of baseball. — Ron Luciano

I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about. — Elayne Boosler

Snake pulled out the digital camera and decided to play a joke on Otacon. He snapped a picture of the pinup, muttered, "Good," and closed the door. — Raymond Benson

Call me Meier, Goring said, but he did not pause to explain the joke . — Philip Jose Farmer

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing. — Ronnie Barker

I love practical jokes and humor. That there's frankly no joke that I don't think is funny. I love practical jokes, but I don't like being scared. — Mitt Romney

Life is cruel. Love is a joke. And not even death is final. — Corinne Michaels

If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good. — Rita Rudner

This is fun, Matty, isn't it? Cocktail hour is intoxicating." "It is." "I made a little joke there." - Celeste. — Jessica Park

God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage — Mark Twain

I joke that a person of color would never make a movie like 'Midnight in Paris.' Nostalgia isn't so enticing. — Meshell Ndegeocello