Janet Evanovich Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Janet Evanovich

Janet Evanovich Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Janet Evanovich quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Ranger was slouched on the couch, watching a ball game. Bob was beside him, his big shaggy orange Bob head resting on Ranger's leg. — Janet Evanovich

I could help you," I said. "Counseling, drugs, a religious advisor, a girlfriend. — Janet Evanovich

I disconnected and made a mental note not to call Tank unless I was bleeding profusely, and he was the only other person on earth. — Janet Evanovich

I'm a glass-is-half-full person now, and your sorry ass is still in half-empty country. — Janet Evanovich

Babe, Ranger said, wrapping his arms around me, gathering me close to him. — Janet Evanovich

Nice tackle, babe."
Ranger — Janet Evanovich

Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don't have a complete copy. — Janet Evanovich

It was one of those impulse things — Janet Evanovich

I checked out the wine. Screw cap. The greatest invention since fire. — Janet Evanovich

Stephanie Plum, psycho bait. — Janet Evanovich

I rolled my eyes so far into the top of my head I almost fell over backward. — Janet Evanovich

And said she was having meatballs and wedding cake for dinner. — Janet Evanovich

My mother fainted. Crash, onto the floor with the big wooden spoon still in her hand. — Janet Evanovich

Congratulations. You caught yourself a Munchkin. — Janet Evanovich

I hate mornings. They start so early. — Janet Evanovich

Bitch."
"Slut."
"Whore."
"Cunt."
I kicked Joyce in the shin. I draw the line at cunt. — Janet Evanovich

I'm not driving you anymore," Lula said to me. "Every time I take you somewhere, people shoot at us." "Not every time. — Janet Evanovich

The lights were low, and Ranger was naked and lounging on the bed, waiting for me to return. I did a slow scan of his perfect body. — Janet Evanovich

Ranger was waiting. He was dressed in black slacks, a form-fitting black T-shirt, and a black blazer. — Janet Evanovich

These are desparate times." - Stephanie Plum — Janet Evanovich

years old and widowed. No children. He'd sold his insurance business — Janet Evanovich

Just because i know how to change a guys oil doesn't mean i want to spend the rest of my life on my back, staring up his undercarriage. — Janet Evanovich

Happens to me all the time ... People are always underestimating my dumbness. — Janet Evanovich

And when I was in the trunk, I saw Jesus. And the Virgin Mary. And Ozzy Osbourne. — Janet Evanovich

He wears jeans, untucked shirts, and a Glock 19, and he has a big shaggy dog named Bob. — Janet Evanovich

He had a body like batman — Janet Evanovich

No one expected a first year engineering student to build the perfect bridge. — Janet Evanovich

My fear was that I'd oversleep, and when Ranger broke into my apartment to wake me up, I'd drag him into bed with me. And then what would I tell Joe? — Janet Evanovich

You don't have to be there to be there. — Janet Evanovich

Almost everybody I know has died," Grandma said. "Bunch of wimps. — Janet Evanovich

fault." Ranger tightened his hold on my neck. — Janet Evanovich

When I was pink and clean I crawled into bed and pretended I was at Disney World. — Janet Evanovich

They have enough testosterone between them, if testosterone were electricity they could light up New York City for the month of August — Janet Evanovich

Okay," she said. "I'll go with him, but you owe me. I want one of them five-gallon jugs of rice pudding when I come — Janet Evanovich

THERE ARE SOME MEN who enter a woman's life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me - not forever, but periodically. — Janet Evanovich

Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing. — Janet Evanovich

Babe."

Ranger — Janet Evanovich

Which was one reason why Revolt of the Zombie Strippers was being shot in Gallup and not in a warehouse in Van Nuys. — Janet Evanovich

Omygod, I haven't got years. I'll have to hide in the Bat Cave."
"Once you go to the Bat Cave it's forever, babe."
Eeek. — Janet Evanovich

If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office. — Janet Evanovich

Damn, piss, shit, fuck! — Janet Evanovich

He specializes in virgins! The brush of his fingertips turns virgins into slobbering mush.
Mary Lou Molnar — Janet Evanovich

The problem with all that falling in love was that eventually it had to come to an end, and the end would be painful. — Janet Evanovich

Are you a feminist?" "You bet your ass," Lula said. "Unless I need something done that's man's work. — Janet Evanovich

Hell, bravery didn't have anything to do with it. I was shitfaced. — Janet Evanovich

My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco, — Janet Evanovich

You can't be mad at me," Ranger said. "I'm cute. I might even be adorable. — Janet Evanovich

I got a free beer for a $5 tip — Janet Evanovich

I thought your mother liked me." "My grandmother likes you. My mother worries that you might be related to Satan. — Janet Evanovich

As long as he has a house with two bathrooms. I swear to God, I don't care if he's Jack the Ripper. — Janet Evanovich

Be still my heart. — Janet Evanovich

Bullets are creepy."
Stephenie — Janet Evanovich

He had his hand in your pants and he kissed you," Lula said. "I'm wetting myself. — Janet Evanovich

In my opinion, the only good spider is a dead spider, and women's rights aren't worth dick if they mean I can't ask a man to do my bug squashing. — Janet Evanovich

The note wasn't signed, but I could tell it was from Morelli by the way my nipples got hard. — Janet Evanovich

Are you telling me your brain and your lady parts decided on a love fest bake-off winner? — Janet Evanovich

Remember, so swashing anyone into the trunk of your car!"
"Sure," Lula said, "I know that — Janet Evanovich

I have you listed under entertainment," Ranger said, — Janet Evanovich

She was looking for — Janet Evanovich

Ranger Smiled. 'You want me to be Superman? Spend the night with me. — Janet Evanovich

Cupcake , you've been breaking my heart for as long as I've known you — Janet Evanovich

I would have graduated higher, but I flunked gravy. — Janet Evanovich

You know nothing. You're nothing but a skank-ass, pencil-dick hemorrhoid. And you smell like anal leakage." "Say what? — Janet Evanovich

We don't appreciate the value of humor sometimes. — Janet Evanovich

Life is a journey, not a destination," Emerson said. "One must live in the moment. — Janet Evanovich

Exercise improves your sex life.
Ranger to Stephanie — Janet Evanovich

Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart? — Janet Evanovich

The only normal people are people you don't know very well." Diesel
"That's a quote from a famous person," I told him. Lizzy Tucker — Janet Evanovich

Ranger's gonna hate this," Tank said. "Better to get shot than to have to explain the gate. Bad enough I got a horse that smells like his shower gel. — Janet Evanovich

Finding out with Ranger is a whole different deal than finding out with Lula. Lula and I are Lucy Ricardo and Ethel Mertz. Ranger is Batman. — Janet Evanovich

Lately, I've been spending a lot of time rolling on the ground with men who think a stiffy represents personal growth. — Janet Evanovich

And the closest I've come to an out-of-body experience was when Joe Morelli took his mouth to me fourteen years ago, behind the eclair case. — Janet Evanovich

What's on your bucket list?" I asked. "I got six things so far," Grandma said. "First off, I want new breasts. These ones I got are a mess. — Janet Evanovich

Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different.
Stephanie Plum — Janet Evanovich

Kate's phone rang, with the caller ID Nick McGarrett. — Janet Evanovich

May misfortune follow us for the rest of our lives, but never catch up-Nicolas Fox, The Heist — Janet Evanovich

Damn skippy it's a flea collar. I'm not taking no chances. — Janet Evanovich

If Mickey Mouse could fly, he'd be Donald Duck. — Janet Evanovich

Saved by the grandma"
Ranger — Janet Evanovich

Some people learn from books, some listen to the advice of others, some learn from mistakes. — Janet Evanovich

It's not a good idea to mess with a woman who has a pimple — Janet Evanovich

That's one of the things I like about Mary Lou. She's willing to believe the worst about anyone. — Janet Evanovich

I wasn't sure exactly how prostitutes determined price, but if men bought hookers by the pound, these two would be doing okay. — Janet Evanovich

When I was painting, I was painting stories I was telling myself. When I look back at it, moving to writing was a very natural progression for me. — Janet Evanovich

I almost never shoot people. — Janet Evanovich

Morelli was an amazing lover, but Ranger was magic. — Janet Evanovich

Do you know what I did? I urrrrrinated on the cake at my ex-wife's wedding. Pissssed all over the icing.
Melvin Baylor - Seven Up — Janet Evanovich

I have people trying to kill me. A giraffe is low on my list of disturbances. — Janet Evanovich

He'd wait. I turned to go into the house and he pulled me back. His hands slid under my shirt and my breath caught. The wire, — Janet Evanovich

I took all of my rejection letters - there must have been thousands of them in a huge box - and I went out on the curb and burned them all, crying. — Janet Evanovich

I don't know if it's a good idea to give a woman a box of bullets when she's got a pimple. — Janet Evanovich

I try hard not to make the same mistake more than 3 or 4 times in a row. — Janet Evanovich

His can of pepper spray was bigger than my can of pepper spray. — Janet Evanovich

You're a magnet for mess. I've never seen anything like it.
Lula to Stephanie — Janet Evanovich

I woke up completely entangled with Ranger. — Janet Evanovich

My body is not designed to run. My body was designed to sit in an expensive care and drive. — Janet Evanovich

You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious.- — Janet Evanovich

Stephanie, I'm begging you. Eat some doughnuts. I can't keep going like this. - Morelli — Janet Evanovich

Your monkey was looking under the stall doors in the ladies' room,' I told Diesel.
'That's my boy,' Diesel said. — Janet Evanovich

What are you doing back at the bakery?" I asked [Diesel]. "Did you know Wulf was here?" "No. I knew food was here. — Janet Evanovich