Janet Evanovich Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Janet Evanovich
Janet Evanovich Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Janet Evanovich quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Ranger was slouched on the couch, watching a ball game. Bob was beside him, his big shaggy orange Bob head resting on Ranger's leg.
— Janet Evanovich
I disconnected and made a mental note not to call Tank unless I was bleeding profusely, and he was the only other person on earth.
— Janet Evanovich
I'm a glass-is-half-full person now, and your sorry ass is still in half-empty country.
— Janet Evanovich
Nice tackle, babe."Ranger — Janet Evanovich
Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don't have a complete copy.
— Janet Evanovich
It was one of those impulse things
— Janet Evanovich
I checked out the wine. Screw cap. The greatest invention since fire.
— Janet Evanovich
Stephanie Plum, psycho bait.
— Janet Evanovich
And said she was having meatballs and wedding cake for dinner.
— Janet Evanovich
My mother fainted. Crash, onto the floor with the big wooden spoon still in her hand.
— Janet Evanovich
Congratulations. You caught yourself a Munchkin.
— Janet Evanovich
I hate mornings. They start so early.
— Janet Evanovich
I'm not driving you anymore," Lula said to me. "Every time I take you somewhere, people shoot at us." "Not every time.
— Janet Evanovich
The lights were low, and Ranger was naked and lounging on the bed, waiting for me to return. I did a slow scan of his perfect body.
— Janet Evanovich
Ranger was waiting. He was dressed in black slacks, a form-fitting black T-shirt, and a black blazer.
— Janet Evanovich
These are desparate times." - Stephanie Plum
— Janet Evanovich
years old and widowed. No children. He'd sold his insurance business
— Janet Evanovich
Just because i know how to change a guys oil doesn't mean i want to spend the rest of my life on my back, staring up his undercarriage.
— Janet Evanovich
He wears jeans, untucked shirts, and a Glock 19, and he has a big shaggy dog named Bob.
— Janet Evanovich
He had a body like batman
— Janet Evanovich
My fear was that I'd oversleep, and when Ranger broke into my apartment to wake me up, I'd drag him into bed with me. And then what would I tell Joe?
— Janet Evanovich
You don't have to be there to be there.
— Janet Evanovich
Almost everybody I know has died," Grandma said. "Bunch of wimps.
— Janet Evanovich
fault." Ranger tightened his hold on my neck.
— Janet Evanovich
They have enough testosterone between them, if testosterone were electricity they could light up New York City for the month of August
— Janet Evanovich
Okay," she said. "I'll go with him, but you owe me. I want one of them five-gallon jugs of rice pudding when I come
— Janet Evanovich
THERE ARE SOME MEN who enter a woman's life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me - not forever, but periodically.
— Janet Evanovich
Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing.
— Janet Evanovich
Babe."Ranger — Janet Evanovich
Which was one reason why Revolt of the Zombie Strippers was being shot in Gallup and not in a warehouse in Van Nuys.
— Janet Evanovich
Omygod, I haven't got years. I'll have to hide in the Bat Cave.""Once you go to the Bat Cave it's forever, babe."
Eeek. — Janet Evanovich
If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office.
— Janet Evanovich
Damn, piss, shit, fuck!
— Janet Evanovich
He specializes in virgins! The brush of his fingertips turns virgins into slobbering mush. Mary Lou Molnar — Janet Evanovich
The problem with all that falling in love was that eventually it had to come to an end, and the end would be painful.
— Janet Evanovich
Are you a feminist?" "You bet your ass," Lula said. "Unless I need something done that's man's work.
— Janet Evanovich
Hell, bravery didn't have anything to do with it. I was shitfaced.
— Janet Evanovich
My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco,
— Janet Evanovich
I got a free beer for a $5 tip
— Janet Evanovich
I thought your mother liked me." "My grandmother likes you. My mother worries that you might be related to Satan.
— Janet Evanovich
As long as he has a house with two bathrooms. I swear to God, I don't care if he's Jack the Ripper.
— Janet Evanovich
Be still my heart.
— Janet Evanovich
Bullets are creepy."Stephenie — Janet Evanovich
In my opinion, the only good spider is a dead spider, and women's rights aren't worth dick if they mean I can't ask a man to do my bug squashing.
— Janet Evanovich
The note wasn't signed, but I could tell it was from Morelli by the way my nipples got hard.
— Janet Evanovich
Are you telling me your brain and your lady parts decided on a love fest bake-off winner?
— Janet Evanovich
Remember, so swashing anyone into the trunk of your car!""Sure," Lula said, "I know that — Janet Evanovich
I have you listed under entertainment," Ranger said,
— Janet Evanovich
She was looking for
— Janet Evanovich
Ranger Smiled. 'You want me to be Superman? Spend the night with me.
— Janet Evanovich
Cupcake , you've been breaking my heart for as long as I've known you
— Janet Evanovich
I would have graduated higher, but I flunked gravy.
— Janet Evanovich
You know nothing. You're nothing but a skank-ass, pencil-dick hemorrhoid. And you smell like anal leakage." "Say what?
— Janet Evanovich
We don't appreciate the value of humor sometimes.
— Janet Evanovich
Life is a journey, not a destination," Emerson said. "One must live in the moment.
— Janet Evanovich
Exercise improves your sex life.Ranger to Stephanie — Janet Evanovich
Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?
— Janet Evanovich
The only normal people are people you don't know very well." Diesel "That's a quote from a famous person," I told him. Lizzy Tucker — Janet Evanovich
Ranger's gonna hate this," Tank said. "Better to get shot than to have to explain the gate. Bad enough I got a horse that smells like his shower gel.
— Janet Evanovich
Finding out with Ranger is a whole different deal than finding out with Lula. Lula and I are Lucy Ricardo and Ethel Mertz. Ranger is Batman.
— Janet Evanovich
Lately, I've been spending a lot of time rolling on the ground with men who think a stiffy represents personal growth.
— Janet Evanovich
And the closest I've come to an out-of-body experience was when Joe Morelli took his mouth to me fourteen years ago, behind the eclair case.
— Janet Evanovich
What's on your bucket list?" I asked. "I got six things so far," Grandma said. "First off, I want new breasts. These ones I got are a mess.
— Janet Evanovich
Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. Stephanie Plum — Janet Evanovich
Kate's phone rang, with the caller ID Nick McGarrett.
— Janet Evanovich
May misfortune follow us for the rest of our lives, but never catch up-Nicolas Fox, The Heist
— Janet Evanovich
Damn skippy it's a flea collar. I'm not taking no chances.
— Janet Evanovich
If Mickey Mouse could fly, he'd be Donald Duck.
— Janet Evanovich
Saved by the grandma"Ranger — Janet Evanovich
Some people learn from books, some listen to the advice of others, some learn from mistakes.
— Janet Evanovich
It's not a good idea to mess with a woman who has a pimple
— Janet Evanovich
That's one of the things I like about Mary Lou. She's willing to believe the worst about anyone.
— Janet Evanovich
I wasn't sure exactly how prostitutes determined price, but if men bought hookers by the pound, these two would be doing okay.
— Janet Evanovich
When I was painting, I was painting stories I was telling myself. When I look back at it, moving to writing was a very natural progression for me.
— Janet Evanovich
I almost never shoot people.
— Janet Evanovich
Morelli was an amazing lover, but Ranger was magic.
— Janet Evanovich
Do you know what I did? I urrrrrinated on the cake at my ex-wife's wedding. Pissssed all over the icing.Melvin Baylor - Seven Up — Janet Evanovich
He'd wait. I turned to go into the house and he pulled me back. His hands slid under my shirt and my breath caught. The wire,
— Janet Evanovich
I took all of my rejection letters - there must have been thousands of them in a huge box - and I went out on the curb and burned them all, crying.
— Janet Evanovich
I don't know if it's a good idea to give a woman a box of bullets when she's got a pimple.
— Janet Evanovich
I try hard not to make the same mistake more than 3 or 4 times in a row.
— Janet Evanovich
His can of pepper spray was bigger than my can of pepper spray.
— Janet Evanovich
I woke up completely entangled with Ranger.
— Janet Evanovich
My body is not designed to run. My body was designed to sit in an expensive care and drive.
— Janet Evanovich
You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious.-
— Janet Evanovich
Stephanie, I'm begging you. Eat some doughnuts. I can't keep going like this. - Morelli
— Janet Evanovich
