Humorous Quotes And Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Humorous Quotes And
Humorous Quotes And Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Humorous Quotes And quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Ish #153 Artificial plants grow best in artificial light.
— Regina Griffin
All humans learn from each other's mistakes. Intelligent humans learn how to avoid them, idiots how to do them.
— Raheel Farooq
She would thump them both, and she would apologize to neither.
— Kristin Cashore
Assisted him? Dylan made the repairs. I only fell and hit my head, from what I can recall. Yes, I make excellent deadweight.
— Scott Westerfeld
Show me a writer that doesn't use their craft as a coping mechanism and I'll show you my unicorn.
— Angelina Assanti
The thing to remember about a kick is you go for his twigs and berries" ~Declan~
— Ilsa Madden-Mills
I engage in subtle stalking. That's entirely different and perfectly socially acceptable.
— Siobhan Davis
The pig was so earnest. So sincere. So very "there." The pig brought gravity and mythic import to this well-worn fairy tale.
— Robert Fulghum
He is the biggest asshole on the planet," Jarod says. "And in a planet that's currently drowning in assholes, that's saying a lot.
— Siobhan Davis
Darkness is necessary for evolvement.
— Lailah Gifty Akita
Do not open that door until I'm in my room. I may be old and losing my hair, but I still want to look nice for a handsome man.
— Rachel Hauck
When they figure out how to bottle up orgasms and sell them as a food additive, I'll be first in line.
— Nenia Campbell
Riding in a carriage without an escort is modern. But traveling out and about unescorted is unheard of.
— Jordan Stratford
What is that thing? It looks like a model of the human digestive tract made from broken beer bottles and sadness.
— Robert Kroese
Where's the guy who gave me Twinkies and Coke?
— Melissa A. Craven
You're going to have a watermelon come out of your flap-jack and that shit will never be the same. Never. - Madison
— Nicole Reed
Better days are coming! They're called Saturday and Sunday.
— Karen Salmansohn
I mean. You put puppies in a store front, I will stop and giddily stare. Every. Single. Time.
— Christy Hall
I would rather write a book without a title if my true friend chooses to live in a million dollar home in London and acts foreign.
— Duop Chak Wuol
I can do anything a man can do except get a hard-on--and that's only because I lack the equipment.
— Marla Buchanan
If all else fails, stop drop and roll..works for me..
— Melissa Mercer
You act like the sorcerers are invading the continent for the sole joy of hunting me down and lobbing me off of tall objects.
— V. St. Clair
People are lot like peanuts...It's not what's on the outside that matters, and that damn shell just gets shucked into the trash anyhow. — Alan VanMeter
I'm Julia Malone and nobody has the patent on me!
— Katie St. Claire
The day the Dragon chooses a male virgin instead of a female as his yearly sacrifice, the entire kingdom erupts into mass protests and anger.
— Mads Sukalikar
A rainy day is like a lovely gift you can sleep late and not feel guilty. — Elizabeth Jane Howard
Play and be happy.
— Lailah Gifty Akita
Webster said, 'Time them skeeters get done with that old man, his French blood will be all gone and he will speak American as good as we do.
— Peter Matthiessen
Only criminals and madmen walk into Central Park after midnight...or, occasionally, an actor. (Dark City Lights)
— Jane Dentinger
Thus, hanging around in our towels (and those weird disposable underpants) was no big deal.
— Ann Benjamin
Everyone loves to slander everyone, and indulge in it willingly at anytime and anywhere.
— Ankita Kapoor
What happened when the Verb asked the noun to conjugate? She said "no-no!", forgot the "o" and decided to become a nun!
— Ana Claudia Antunes
A balanced dieT to make you die with a tea, consists of holding two bags of cookies on each hand and a voracious hunger to consume.
— Ana Claudia Antunes
The next day was wonderful...and terrible. So, overall, I guess it was okay.
— The Harvard Lampoon
Ladies glisten, men perspire, horses sweat.-Early Nun Quote, The Old Ursuline Convent (1727)
New Orleans, LA — Diana Hollingsworth Gessler
If an angry bull is running toward you, and your pants become wet despite holding the red cloth, make sure the other side of the cloth is white.
— Waheed Ibne Musa
If you give a writer a line, they'll take a paragraph ...
— Suzanne McKenna Link
Writing something new is an effective way to get rid of writer's block. Or you can observe the people around you and fantasize like I do.
— B.A. Gabrielle
Macho and manly and stern and, oh man. Sam sighed. Guys like this were never gay. They were always the ones chasing the homos.
— Anne Tenino
When life gives you lemons, find a friend whose life has given them tequila and have a party.
— Nefertiti Faraj
Shut your gob, You tell me nothing in my kennel. Here, I am Queen Bitch, and you will muzzle yourself. Kebibi Ahuda to prisoner
— Tamora Pierce
There's only so far we can step backward in one day
— Leisenring
All art requires is courage and the commitment to eat lots of biscuits. D Ellis / 2016
— David Ellis
Life is full of things that can kill me, you vampire m*****f****r, and you sure as shit can just get in line!Dr. Adin Tredeger — Z.A. Maxfield
... With a slight miscalculated leap cleared to the iron picket fence. Put the fear of God into me, picket fences and balls don't mix.
— J.P. Donleavy
To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German.
— Emperor Charles V
The old Janey only drank cheap wine and light beer. The new Janey is classy, prefers cocktails, and even drinks alone.
— J.C. Patrick
And you'd be left there like a fucking dumpling. You'd be standing there. A fucking dumpling man I'm telling ye.
— James Kelman
And most of the time, when you're young and dumb - you know everything! Charles Freeman Lee bebop pianist and trumpeter
— Annette Johnson
By the time that adorable steak and I had become one flesh I could have taken on the whole Valmy clan singlehanded.
— Mary Stewart
Noseless and Handless, the Lannister Boys.
— George R R Martin
I vote, I challenge Bathymaasy and we shoot arrows at you dearest brother. ArtemisSet and Bathymaas laughed.
Apollo, not so much. — Sherrilyn Kenyon
A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.
— Xaviera Hollander
99% of all problems can be solved by money and for the other 1% there's alcohol. — Quentin R. Bufogle
Some girls have a real sexy giggle, but whenever I laugh it always comes out somewhere between a bellow and a snort!
— Elizabeth Jane Howard
Memory is like a box of chocolates. They disappear quickly.
— Leah Broadby
Fainting is for preteen girls and those really weird goats. I do not faint!
— Melissa F. Olson
The main difference between a lawyer and a prostitute is that a prostitute won't screw you after you're dead.
— Mark R. Jones
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
— Dennis Miller
It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people.
— F Scott Fitzgerald
Sex with a married woman ten years his senior was stress free and fulfilling, because it couldn't lead to anything
— Haruki Murakami
Uncle Drew shouts. You are a disgrace. Your mother should have swallowed.
— Tara Sivec Love And Lists
I nurture very good intentions about you. May you die in peace.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
Nice guys finish last but bad guys don't finish at all.
— Matshona Dhliwayo
Ish #19 If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking?
— Regina Griffin
And we're at four. Alexis Ann, I think we're in an abusive relationship.
— Melissa A. Craven
I may not be perfect, but God knows I'm trying ... and God knowing should count for something.
— Karen E. Quinones Miller
Forgive my asking you to use your mind. It is a thing which no novelist should expect of his reader ...
— Owen Wister
What was to fear from a foe that could be defeated by a few potholes and the heat of the sun?
— Esther Spurrill Jones
-Cheap? I could have bought a whole pig with that coin jester.
-Exactly my Lord. And while some may eat a mule, no one can ride a pig. — Angelo Tsanatelis
And the challenge in the next round would be determined by the winner of this test. "Like, what, the DOM-matrix?" ~Tara Reese
— Lucian Bane
