Humorous People Quotes
Collection of top 92 famous quotes about Humorous People
Humorous People Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Humorous People quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Sometimes being successful means pissing people off
— Philip Loyd
There's a name for people with an interest in the moon," Alex said. "They're called lunatics.
— Anthony Horowitz
Big people never scare me. I am a little man. I can easily hide.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
People who think animals have expressionless faces are like people who can ignore an open package of Oreos. Not quite human.
— Julia Kent
Mr. Starr, have you no shame? Facts and law are always subordinated to the will of the American people.
— William H. Ginsburg
I've admired a lot of people in my life time and some of them were actually alive.
— Stanley Victor Paskavich
[representative government is] deciding once in three or six years which member of the ruling class was to misrepresent the people in Parliament,
— Karl Marx
Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only way we can get to shake a bat at a white man without starting a riot.
— Dick Gregory
I misled people, including even my wife
— William J. Clinton
I don't care what you people say...we are not using a font that does not have fucking serifs." - Rook Myfanwy Thomas
— Daniel O'Malley
But I'm saying we are loosing the people who are going to pay my social security. And that bothers me.
— Joycelyn Elders
I issued a number of denials to people I thought needed to hear them
— William J. Clinton
Lord Emsworth belonged to the people-like-to-be-left-alone-to-amuse-themselves-when-they-come-to-a-place school of hosts
— P.G. Wodehouse
Two kinds of people always lie about their ages: actresses and Latin American pitchers.
— Jess Walter
England is a very popular foreign country to visit because the people there speak some English.
— Dave Barry
I'm basically one of the best people I know.
— Jeff Kinney
Our ancestors are very good kind of folks; but they are the last people I should choose to have a visiting acquaintance with.
— Richard Brinsley Sheridan
Young singers ask me, "Do I have to live in New York?" I say, "You can live wherever you want-as long as people think you live in New York."
— Benita Valente
Professional soldiers are people who die for a living.
— George Carlin
The people of Halifax also invented the harmonium, a device for castrating pigs during Sunday service.
— Mike Harding
English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off ... Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.
— Dave Barry
I get a kick out of cursing people for life on Sundays.
— Emily Kirby
Certainly no one has ever died of an unrequited passion - it's usually the ones that are requited that get people in trouble.
— Mercedes Lackey
Common sense is only irritating in other people
— Martyn V. Halm
People are lot like peanuts...
It's not what's on the outside that matters, and that damn shell just gets shucked into the trash anyhow. — Alan VanMeter
It's not what's on the outside that matters, and that damn shell just gets shucked into the trash anyhow. — Alan VanMeter
There shouldn't ever be a gas shortage in our world ... when so many people are full of it!
— Timothy Pina
Anna gave her that disjointed look with which so many people regarded Hannah, as if they has fallen too many words behind to ever catch up.
— Laura L. Sullivan
In my day, we got suspicious if 125k people followed us.
— Eric Christopher Jackson
Famous people steal my quotes all of the time without knowing; none of it is ever very interesting though.
— Robert DeCoteau
One acronym to live by: PDADP, meaning Personal Displays of Affection Disturb People.
— Michelle A. Lammers
Cool people are only cool for the first thirty minutes of knowing them. After that, they just become annoying.
— Carroll Bryant
Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.
— J. P. McEvoy
People who always arrive early aren't worth waiting for.
— Crystal Woods
Leandros's favorite place had turned out not to be vegetarian, but vegan, which was for people who preferred their suicide slow.
— Rob Thurman
Choose old people for enemies. They die. You win.
— Jacob M. Appel
People take power trips at the most inopportune times.
— Lida Sideris
Everything is humorous," said Shorty, "except your own death. But other people will laugh.
— Joe R. Lansdale
People stubbornly lived their lives as they wanted, without regard to me, to an amazing degree.
— Charlaine Harris
A great mission by a great woman.
— Lailah Gifty Akita
And the only people I fear are those who never have doubts ... Save us all from arrogant men, and all the causes they're for.
— Billy Joel
Miss Green can call a turd a rose if she wants, but that don't mean people's going to be lining up to smell it.
— K. Martin Beckner
People who talk too much are tiresome, especially those who are not informative, thought-provoking, or funny.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Writing something new is an effective way to get rid of writer's block. Or you can observe the people around you and fantasize like I do.
— B.A. Gabrielle
Tokyo is huge. Something like 15 million people live there, and my estimate is that at any given moment, 14.7 million of them are lost.
— Dave Barry
Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!
— Bob Hope
I have my welcome mat turned around backwards so when people leave they think they're going to a better place.
— Stanley Victor Paskavich
Blast ignorant people with high-powered streams of information and wisdom, but only when fire hoses are not readily available.
— Cassandra Duffy
Do you follow the wrestling? Most people think it's illegal, but you can watch it there. Ruby and Python are on display this evening.
— Samuel R. Delany
I love sharing my stories and experiences with people and connecting to them on both a humorous and emotional level.
— Tori Spelling
People ask why are you so strange and I always reply why are you so normal ...
— Shadowstorm Norwicca
Children are nothing but a problem people create and then congratulate themselves on solving.
— Curtis Sittenfeld
Searching through Monster while on the clock feels like being on Tinder while still married.
— Crystal Woods
The Americans are extremely gadget minded people and American gadgets have a peculiar characteristic: they work.
— George Mikes
I cannot articulate enough to express my dislike to people who think that understanding spoils your experience ... How would they know?
— Marvin Minsky
I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall.
— Derek Landy
The problem with at-home IQ tests is that too many people wouldn't understand the results. Calling customer service is a bad sign.
— Iimani David
Sometimes we know people who are
too wonderful for words. I am not one of them.
Or you, for that matter, as you well know. — Michael Hogan
too wonderful for words. I am not one of them.
Or you, for that matter, as you well know. — Michael Hogan
People who leave their drugs in a bathroom the guests use are just asking for trouble.
— Stephen King
Overflowing with the milk of human kindness, the family had invited everyone they could think of, including people they cordially disliked.
— Gerald Durrell
People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
— Erma Bombeck
Stalin didn't write any memoirs. He was too secretive. He was afraid people might read them.
— Jonathan Lynn
It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people.
— F Scott Fitzgerald
He thought moving to a small town would allow him to find a way to get along to some extent but people were just plain idiots.
— Christine Feehan
I guess 'joint' would imply two people had ownership, which, thanks Life, is simply no longer the case.
— Ann Benjamin
I do not do free e-books. I occasionally like to eat that thing you people call "food".
— Carla H. Krueger
Switzerland is only bearable covered with snow," Aunt Augusta said, "like some people are only bearable under a sheet.
— Graham Greene
What I've always done as an entertainer is try to come up with things that people will find interesting, or compelling, or humorous.
— James Taylor
It's weird that people expect me to be funny. I find it a real burden when I'm expected to be humorous on talk shows.
— Ben Stiller
The stupider the regime the more intelligent the people get and the more humorous.
— Christopher Hitchens
People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.
— Terry Pratchett
I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.
— Gary Shandling
I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.
— Edward Verrall Lucas
Smiling always seems to annoy people more than actually insulting them. Or maybe I just have an annoying smile.
— Jim Butcher
Nobody uses his car in New York, because so many people use it that traffic is congested and unbearably slow.
— George Mikes
They were Republicans, Nixon Republicans, and so didn't subscribe to the notion that laws are supposed to apply to all people equally.
— Bill Bryson
Some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. And then there are those who wonder, 'What the hell just happened?
— Carroll Bryant
Stop teasing you two," Suzy jumped in, "not all of Kathy's ideas are wacky."
"Gee thanks. Was that supposed to be a compliment? — E.A. Bucchianeri
"Gee thanks. Was that supposed to be a compliment? — E.A. Bucchianeri
I will take all my rights! Can you deliver them to my house?
— Ljupka Cvetanova