Humor Sarcasm Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Humor Sarcasm
Humor Sarcasm Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Humor Sarcasm quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I'm financially ugly.
— Rea Lidde
You want a friend in this city? [Washington, DC.] Get a dog!
— Harry Truman
It means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234'.
— Cassandra Clare
It was Nathaniel's boundless capacity for stating the obvious that made him so charmingly human.
— Jonathan Stroud
Just for the record the weather today is slightly sarcastic, with a good chance of A. indifference and B. disinterest in what the critics say.
— Panic At The Disco
Because we don't really sparkle.
— John G. Hartness
No. No way. That name is reserved for females with grace and elegance, not this girl. This girl is ... beastly.
— Victoria Scott
I've been trying to figure that out since I met him. I've had more luck trying to smell the color nine.
— Jenny Allen
Sarcasm mascarades as the Preppy's sense of humor.
— Lisa Birnbach
Well, what do you want me to do? Head butt my way through a few inches of steel?!" she snarled."Well, that would certainly earn you a cookie! — S.L.J. Shortt
Sir Mark Turner," he said. "I speak with the tongues of a thousand angels. Butterflies follow me wherever I go. Birds sing when I take a breath.
— Courtney Milan
Everything's just fucking Disney with you.
— Nenia Campbell
Who the hell is that?!Some call her Satan. Others, Beelzebub. She goes by many names. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips
Well, bloody noses." I hug his coat tighter. "Those are definitely hot.
— Stephanie Perkins
My major vice is sarcasm with a side of caffeine addiction.
— Rosemary Clement-Moore
I swear to God, if GreatReads doesn't stop sending me these notification emails...how many times do I have to turn them off?
— Melanie Marchande
Don't waste yer' breath kid. Explainin' anything to that one? It's like tryin' ta' slap the dumb off a retard ... -George Foster
— Shawn Durnin
I know the power of speech. I don't talk much.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.
— P.G. Wodehouse
We are the generation of Social Media, Our biggest Revolution is a Tweet of 141 Characters.
— Sandra Chami Kassis
Let me ask you a question Alex. What do you think is the greatest evil on this plant today?""Is that including, or not including you? — Anthony Horowitz
You mean you don't want to come in and hold my hand while I piss?
— Nenia Campbell
You could shove it up your ass and pretend you're a corn dog.COURTESY VIOLATION-RESPONSE MUTED-VIOLATION LOGGED — Ernest Cline
Love is a fairytale blah, blah, blah.
— Jessica Fortunato
What exactly constitutes an emergency in a modelling agency? Two girls fighting to death with a hair straightener?
— Kate Forster
Who the hell calls at two in the morning?""Maybe it's Matt Wilde, confessing his love," Lindsay says.
"Very funny, — Lauren Oliver
You must have been going very fast.""I was, until I hit the fence. — Anthony Horowitz
One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble.
— Terry Pratchett
Worms have crawled up your nose and eaten your wits.
— George R R Martin
Oh I'd be more than happy to hold, I'll just spend the time working on that brain tumor.
— David C. Holley
You did not just say that. I have a feeling we're on the verge of hugging and coming up with cute nicknames for each other.
— Richelle Mead
When all else fails ... try smoking a good cigar and have a stiff drink. If that doesn't work ... have another.
— Timothy Pina
Miss Green can call a turd a rose if she wants, but that don't mean people's going to be lining up to smell it.
— K. Martin Beckner
With a sense of humor like that, you could make a living as a garbage man anywhere in the country.
— Jim Butcher
We don't have dealings. He just stalks me. I'm popular like that.
— Nenia Campbell
I used to be a mddle-of-the-road kid, but now with my freaky looks I'm definately an outsider. Hooray.
— Evan Kuhlman
Push my buttons, and I'll push you off a bridge.
— Karen Quan
Hello, Mrs. Tran ... I have David's homework. And if you ever want to see it again, you'll pay me the two million dollars I asked for.
— Nenia Campbell
Don't worry, hero. If the vamp shows up, I'm here to protect you.""Great, I can hide behind your massive ego. — Cassandra Clare
Sarcasm creates a chasm between yourself and others.
— Gayle Forman
If you say 'we're in this together,' I'm going to hurl.
— Kelley Armstrong
And I have a tiny little moment of anxiety, because I can't remember whether or not we're meant to be boycotting mars bars.
— David Nicholls
Does the Pope love Jesus?
— Dana Marie Bell
If your career doesn't work out, write a book about it.
— Marcy Sheiner
If she hasn't learned to appreciate my sterling character and spectacular good looks by this time, it's not likely she will.
— Elizabeth Peters
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. I think I would have more fun chopping thistles with a butter knife.
— K. Martin Beckner
I'm as lucky as a bed of oysters on cioppino night.
— Nenia Campbell
I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.
— Sarah Rees Brennan
Uh, yeah - how about a warm hell no to that request? Does that work for you? Because it works for me.
— Tahereh Mafi
Great,' I said. 'Visit exotic Australia. Get bitten by an exotic snake. Die exotically.
— Steven Gould
For appearances. Now there's a lovely thing to die for.
— Gerald Morris
A painting is worth a thousand confused art-gallery visitors.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
Any boy who'd love a sailboat-patterned, swimsuited sausage who tames rabid foxes would be wonderful. And impossible.
— Fanny Britt
At least that left hope for him. Except "Beauty and the Geek" wasn't exactly the proper translation of the popular fairy tale.
— Kelly Moran
I've been surrounded by nitwits my entire life.
— Chelsea Ballinger
Civilization is held together by duct tape and spit, and I'm worried about the duct tape.
— Jacqueline Patricks
I'm sorry that your mystical, godlike powers do not instantly work as you would like them to.
— Brandon Sanderson
Though drowned was just as dead as any other way of dying.
— Mercedes Lackey
My condolences, you're still alive.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated. — Melina Marchetta
Sometimes we know people who aretoo wonderful for words. I am not one of them.
Or you, for that matter, as you well know. — Michael Hogan
How touching. I think I'm gonna throw up.
— Joss Stirling
They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me. — Derek Landy
Optimism: That effervescent, blindingly- bright, perky, chipper, twittering quality you want to squash out of annoying people.
— Richelle E. Goodrich
people don't generally believe themselves to be evil. Just strong. And they think that the world owes them something
— Mary Elizabeth Summer
My natural tendency toward sarcasm is still not appreciated.
— Veronica Roth
Coincidences are like unicorns.you can believe in them all you want,but that doesn't make them real
— Mary Elizabeth Summer
Thinking I'm a moron gives people something to feel smug about," Charles Wallace said. "Why should I disillusion them?
— Madeleine L'Engle
I couldn't help thinkin' if she was as far out o' town as she was out o' tune, she wouldn't get back in a day.
— Sarah Orne Jewett
Too bad. Game over. Insert new fucking quarter.
— Nenia Campbell
Can you enter a house uninvited?""No."
"Why?"
"That would be rude. — Abigail Gibbs
Aphorism, n. Predigested wisdom.
— Ambrose Bierce
Love is worth dying for, said the spermatozoid.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
— George Carlin
Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.
— Chuck Klosterman
I don't know how you persist in being so stubborn-""It's a superpower. I was bitten by a radioactive mule. — Shannon Hale
I'm not bipolar, I've just had a bipolar life foisted upon me.
— Daniel O'Malley
What is your advice to young writers?" "Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes. — Charles Bukowski
MacMillian groaned again, and sat up. "Clients?""Yeah. You know, people who'll give us money in exchange for work. — Laura Oliva
Whoosh! went the bluebird of sarcasm, zooming miles above Dale's head.
— Sarah Rees Brennan
