Humor But Not Humor Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Humor But Not Humor

Humor But Not Humor Quotes & Sayings

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How Low am I, thou painted Maypole? Speak:
How Low am I? I am not yet so Low
But that my Nails can reach unto thine Eyes — William Shakespeare

Mother could go for one year without food, but not one day without her lip sticks. — Barbara Kingsolver

Comedy is not the opposite of darkness, but its natural bedfellow. Pain makes laughter necessary; laughter makes pain tolerable. — Mindy Greenstein

Yes, life is hard, but it's not a bad way to pass the time. When all is said and done, I recommend it. — Nury Vittachi

I am a Christian, you know, Julia.'
So am I. But I'm not above staying out of jail any way I can. — Ann B. Ross

Gentlemen do not carry a cane or a hat? No gloves?"
"Gentleman may still wear them, but I'm afraid the problem is that there aren't many left. — Camilla Isley

It's a long ride home with nothing but me for company. I bore myself sometimes. Not often. Just now and again. — David Hewson

Really? Okay, let's roll." I didn't want to learn to drive in his beast of a vehicle, but I wasn't going to take his not so subtle ridicule either. — Elle Klass

Go hug a nursing mom -- but not too hard. Her boobs may hurt. — Cassi Clark

Theres not a lot of good humor in medicine, but theres a lot of medicine in good humor. — Josh Billings

You can clone human brains but not what is stored inside them — Matt Haig

You may not be able to change a situation, but with humor you can change your attitude about it. — Allen Klein

I sort of kind of said something a little like that but maybe not clearly enough to sound like that ... But it's what I meant. — Mary Eva Swatek

Well, no, not married as such, but yes, there is a specific girl that I'm not married to. — Douglas Adams

Not only eating Lieutenant, but slobbering over the food as well. Clearly, he, she, or it has no manners. — Douglas Preston

I'm not trying to put you down, but even if I did, you'd have nowhere to go. — Aleksandra Ninkovic

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. — Andrea Hurst

Words Words Words!!

It's not always what you say but how you say it — Bandile Matsenjwa

Sometimes I hated myself but not for long. — Alan Bradley

At least if I
was picking guys up in fits of drunken idiocy, they were not only handsome, but also even mildly clever. — C.E. Murphy

That's not a bad word ... hate and war are bad words, but fuck isn't. — Judy Blume

I am not the worst thing that can happen to you, but I will be the last. ~Caesar~ The Goodbye Man. — A. Giannoccaro

She raised us with humor, and she raised us to understand that not everything was going to be great-but how to laugh through it. — Liza Minnelli

Every time I hear about somebody who wins a never-work-again sum in the lottery but keeps his or her day job I think, not a book person. — Amy Smith

THERE ARE SOME MEN who enter a woman's life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me - not forever, but periodically. — Janet Evanovich

I have wit in my work and a sense of humor, but I do not use irony in any way. — John Zorn

She did not especially appreciate children either, but could be kind to them when they were silent. — Gordon Dahlquist

A joke was not a single-use item but something you brought out again and again until it fell apart in your hand like a cheap umbrella. — David Nicholls

A dirty joke is not, of course, a serious attack on morality, but it is a sort of mental rebellion, a momentary wish that things were otherwise. — George Orwell

The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might not reach your 26th. — Scott Adams

Stab me if you can enjoy it - but not if it feels like a duty. Stab me vertically if I'm lying down and horizontally if I'm running — Steve Aylett

I appreciate humor so much, but I'm actually not a funny girl. — Emmanuelle Chriqui

But I was not in the band, because I suffer from the kind of tone deafness that is generally associated with actual deafness — John Green

It's not hard to fail ... it's hard to accept you failed ... but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing — Josh Stern

The story she had told me was possible, but it was not believable. — Giacomo Casanova

Breath, Myrnin said. I'm not much for it myself, but I hear it's quite good for humans.
-Myrnin. — Rachel Caine

What a paradox it is, the sane causes more problems than the insane! It is! The real problems of the world do not come from the insane but, the sane! — Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

Like a swan, she made no sound. — Sabrina Jeffries

Humor is not an end in itself, but a tool to understanding. A dense head must be tickled with an ax. — Bauvard

Which is him? The grammar was faulty, maybe, but we could not know, then, that it would go in a book someday. — Mark Twain

It is proved by surveys that happiness does not come from love, wealth, or power but the pursuit of attainable goals. — Helen Fielding

I lowered the gun but didn't holster it. Not just yet. She could turn out to be psychotic. Or a door-to-door salesperson. — Darynda Jones

Finding Louisa in her drawing-room was like discovering a kitten in the cupboard--not necessarily unwelcome, but still startling. — Steven Harper

One can have a wit, but not a witless — Brandon Sanderson

Humor is unavoidable. It might not feel funny in the moment, but more often than not there's a light at the end of the tunnel. — Ron Howard

How many great gems were lost to thought
and not put down to pen.
You can but think of just a few
and then they're lost again. — L.F.Young

The novel is born not of the theoretical spirit but of the spirit of humor. — Milan Kundera

Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door? — Steven Wright

Phury was the only other possibility, but he was a celibate with a broken frickin' heart. Not really man-whore material. — J.R. Ward

We all know a fool when we see one - but not when we are one. — Arnold H. Glasow

Give me chastity and constancy, but not yet." St. Augustine. "Amen" Odette — Marie Clair

There's a new slimming course just out where they remove all your bones. Not only do you weigh less, but you also look so much more relaxed. — Chic Murray

The ideal home: big enough for you to hear the children, but not very well. — Mignon McLaughlin

I confronted the fact that I was not only talking to a dog, but answering for one. — Claire Cook

The manlier you are, the harder it is to understand what a woman wants: there is not a hint of female brain in you. — Criss Jami

It was not Death that stood before me but only Vernon Dickey, my father-in-law. — Don DeLillo

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. — Mark Twain

You know Dahmer was a cannibal. You think he was a zombie?"
Tom smirked. "I'm no expert, but not all cannibals are zombies. — H.D. Timmons

Ish #1 It's not your mama's macaroni and cheese if you used spaghetti noodles. — Regina Griffin

I may not beleive in God, but I believe in guilt and no one wants to dick around with eternity, even if it isn't there. — Jonathan Tropper

Aunt Agatha is like an elephant- not so much to look at, for in appearance she resembles more a well-bred vulture, but because she never forgets. — P.G. Wodehouse

You think you're embarrassing me, but you're not.' He was. — Faith McKay

I'd like to think they're staring at me because of my white-hot animal magnetism, but I'm not Elvis. I'm Lobster Boy, hear me roar. — Richard Kadrey

I wrote my friend a letter using a highlighting pen. But he could not read it, he thought I was trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper. — Mitch Hedberg

These days I am a teetotal, mean-spirited, right-wing, narrow-minded, conservative Christian bigot, but not a racist. — Jane Russell

I like bawdy humor. I love bawdy humor, but not dirty humor. — Betty White

I'd seen weirder things than a haunted shoe, but not many. — Richelle Mead

Aren't the Amish against violence?
Yes, but you see, I'm not very good at being Amish ... so remember what I say. — Kelly Long

Your tongue is moving my King but the words are not making their way to my ears — Dora Okeyo

I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer. — Bob Monkhouse

I'm not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues. — Franklin D. Roosevelt

I'm not a particularly dark individual. I have my moments, it's true, but I do have a sense of humor. — Alan Moore

Change is not a four letter word ... but often your reaction to it is! — Jeffrey Gitomer

She had lost the art of conversation, but not, unfortunately, the power of speech. — George Bernard Shaw

I didn't think that anything is beyond humor - not profane humor, but a good, honest approach to humor. — Mort Sahl

The devil is not, indeed, perfectly humorous, but that is only because he is the extreme of all humor. — Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The person who has a sense of humor is not just more relaxed in the face of a potentially stressful situation, but is more flexible in his approach. — John Morreall

Perhaps not," said Will, who had ears like a bat's. "But I would make a radiant bride. — Cassandra Clare

Thin Burning Light Gun
If the car found life, it could try to use this gun to learn about it, but the life might not be alive when it was done. — Randall Munroe

I'm not saying I'm an Alcoholic, but I do have prescription shot glasses — Josh Stern

I'm not for gratuitous nudity, but if there's humor, I don't have a problem. — Rebecca Romijn

I'm not sure I've turned your Commander inside out, but I can assure you if that iron skillet was empty, I would bring him down a peg or two. — Julia Mills

And not that it matters, but my mother is not a lesbian! She's just a really, really bad heterosexual. — Carrie Fisher

I'll share my life with you. But, not my doughnuts. — Crystal Woods

I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection. — Jon Stewart

I understand toilets were not yet invented when you were born, but is it really so hard to put the seat down? — Christy Gissendaner

There's a word for people you hate, but not enough to let them die...

...Family — Ryan Parrott

1980's: not a time period but a state of mind. — Carrie Vaughn

I actually wanted to drive a stake through your heart when you first came here, all silent and moody. But you're not so bad, after all. — Christina Channelle

The question is not how to survive, but how to thrive with passion, compassion, humor and style. — Maya Angelou

I'm going to make you feel so good," I swore to her, "that you're going to not just scream my name, but forget yours. — Shay Savage

Not everything is funny or will make you laugh...but what a worthy goal to have. — Bobby Darnell

Eternity is not a super-abundance of time, but timelessness. — Vijay Balakrishnan

Nicu: It's not fair! Everybody has fangs but me, and I can't even turn into a bat properly. Sometimes when I try I end up as a sparrow! — Elias Zapple

I wish I was 18 again, not that I don't like the age I'm at right now, but at 18yrs old I knew everything! — Michael Nuccio

The bad part is you freeze your balls off, but since you're not allowed to breed anyway, I don't suppose that matters. — George R R Martin

This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth. — P.G. Wodehouse

I may not remember my name or what country I live in, but you and that pie is something I will never forget. — Kathryn Stockett

I think I love humor in poetry, but not that slapstick cheap easy humor, but that uncomfortable, "did she say that out loud?" kind of humor. — Victoria Chang

Popularity's a weird thing. You can't really define it, and it's not cool to talk about, but you know it when you see it. Like a lazy eye, or porn. — Lauren Oliver