How Funny Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about How Funny

How Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational How Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

It is funny you know, you spend 12 years of your life learning about things and about life, but they never really tell you how hard life really is. — Amanda Peterson

Funny how well-rehearsed you can become at being who everyone thinks you should be. — Stevie J. Cole

Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it. — Karl Pilkington

Funny how time heals. Like that bullet in my ribs. It's there, I know it's there, but I can barely feel it at all anymore. — Lauren Oliver

It's funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source. — Ellen DeGeneres

Funny how you never forget the girls from school, huh? — Dave Franklin

How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb? — Steven Wright

Funny how people that don't believe in nothin' are so quick to believe every crazy story about people like us. — Dean Koontz

I spent 11 years at 'The Daily Show,' and I learned everything there about how to write funny, how to write funny on topic. — David Javerbaum

It's funny how easy it is to point out other peoples mistakes and make our own mistakes seem insignificant. — Jack Kirby

It is funny how no one seems to want my always excellent advice. — Anne Lamott

I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning ... That can keep me awake for days.. — Billy Connolly

Funny how the stupid shit we do for those we love hardens into legend. — Taylor Adams

And what have you been up to? she asked.
Oh, I don't know really, I said. Not much. Learning how to be a good loser. — Miriam Toews

It's funny how people can take up so much room
in your heart
but you still have plenty left
for someone else — Marilyn Hilton

How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life? — Natasha Leggero

Sex is Number 1 of my Top-10 joys in retirement. Number 2 is reading How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free. I forgot the other eight. — Ernie J Zelinski

Funny how
time goes on,
things change,
and yet,
some things stay
exactly the same. — Lisa Schroeder

Funny, how quickly someone can stop calling you a miscreant and a rogue when they want your help, — Brandon Sanderson

It's funny how much of your childhood is about proximity. — Jenny Han

Funny thing about prayers. God hears them. But you just never know if, when, or how He's going to answer them. — Becky Wade

Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk. — Mignon McLaughlin

When they figure out how to bottle up orgasms and sell them as a food additive, I'll be first in line. — Nenia Campbell

I know how to make adults laugh pretty well. I don't know if kids think I'm that funny. — Tom Bodett

It's funny how despair can soon become an old companion — Jacqueline Carey

Funny how people could be around you for so many years, and be so off the mark. — Lauren Oliver

It's funny how we like labels. If I ever have a bookstore, I'm not going to put any labels on the sections. — Audrey Niffenegger

...she thought how funny that the first thing you didn't need was the words you said. — C.E. Morgan

Isn't it funny how ignorance is the source of strength of so many? — Lionel Suggs

It was funny how the monumental shit in your life tends to happen in slow-motion and at warp speed at the same time. — N.R. Walker

I love how people walk around with crucifixes, skullcaps, pointy hats, funny beards and then say 'you should keep your atheism to yourself.' — Ricky Gervais

How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O — Henny Youngman

Funny how you can measure time by pets that were not even your own. — Lori Lansens

A woman who is praying and a woman who is having fun, they both say " Oh My God", the only difference is how they pronounce it. — M.F. Moonzajer

How art thou out of breath when thou hast breath
To say to me that thou art out of breath? — William Shakespeare

How much detention did you get?
Two weeks. One per arsehole. — Stephanie Perkins

Funny how the love be fake ... but I ain't stressin'.
Thankful for the love that's genuine ... appreciate the blessin'. — Busta Rhymes

Funny how the darkness smelled the same everywhere. She could have been anywhere in the universe, anywhere at all. — Anne Corlett

How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat? — Carroll Bryant

I wish I knew how to quit you, Tumblr. — John Green

Funny how all things people don't understand seem to be 'cursed'. — Nnedi Okorafor

Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican? — Jerry Coleman

It's funny how many ways there are to hurt people. As many ways to hurt as there are species of flower. Whole bouquets of hurt. — Joshua Gaylord

I wrote an entire movie [Man up] about how important I think voices are, so it was funny. — Lake Bell

It's funny how you can know a person, think of him as your closest friend, and still never gain access to the secret chambers in his heart. — Jennifer Finney Boylan

Funny how growing up can change your opinion of being afraid of the dark and afraid of the bills. — Amelia Hutchins

If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know? — Steven Wright

I don't know how high I went, I don't wanna know. Heights are not my favorite thing. It makes my balls go in my throat just thinking about it. — Chris Kyle

It would be a really bad idea to let this person loose."

"How bad of an idea?"

"Kicking-Hitler-out-of-art-school bad. — Rin Chupeco

Shane looked ... pale. Pale and shaken and - how predictable was this? - pissed. — Rachel Caine

It is funny how the things we hate are the things we miss most when they are gone — Erin Bowman

Funny thing how when you reach out, people tend to reach right back. Best, then, to make sure your hand is open and not fisted. — Richelle E. Goodrich

It's funny about imagination, how it — Ivan Doig

Funny how you can think that the world is ending but still believe things will work out. We always think there's going to be a happy ending somewhere. — Lorna Jane Cook

Isn't it funny how true peace describes war and chaos? — Lionel Suggs

How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything. — George Burns

It's funny how the smallest things I've done speak the loudest about me, but I like that. — Xavier Niel

I cannot tell you how grateful I am - I am filled with humidity. — Gib Lewis

It is funny how you do not miss affection until it is given, but once it is, it can never be enough; you would drown in it if possible. — Libba Bray

she was enveloped by a wave of calm. Funny how just seeing the giant logo of an apple with a bite out of it did that to her. — Michelle Gagnon

I think it's funny how life can lead you down certain paths which you wouldn't have taken otherwise. — Giovanna Fletcher

It's funny how things work out sometimes. — Anthony Horowitz

Funny how a nice ass, firm pecs, and a great smile could thwart a woman's best plans. — Karina Halle

Funny how a beautiful song could tell such a sad story — Sarah Dessen

We're blessed on 'How I Met Your Mother' to feel like we're doing a bit of a funny playlet everyday. — Neil Patrick Harris

Well, I don't know how to break this to you, but I think they might have noticed we broke into Gringotts. — J.K. Rowling

It's funny how beauty rides the back of pain . — Patricia Harman

There are just so many funny kids and teenagers. They're just not aware of how funny they are. — Vanessa Bayer

Comedy is funny when it comes from truth, and that's always the rule of them. It's about how far you can push that boundary. — Ari Graynor

Hollywood called me, asking me, "How much to do a movie with Farrah Fawcett?" "$50,000" They called back, "How about $20,000?" I said, "I'll pay it!" — Henny Youngman

How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don't know how to spell my name. — Yogi Berra

A man says to his mate: "My wife is a twin." His mate says, "How do you tell them apart?" The man says: "Her brother has a beard." — Frank Carson

I don't think of any sentence as a "one-liner", but I do pay attention to how people actually speak when they are being funny. Rhythm is key. — Lorrie Moore

Mom, how come you never go outside?"
"I told you, I'm a vampire. — Alison Bechdel

It's funny how guilty people start to question your spirituality and education only because they have nothing to say that will justify their faults. — J.B. Albano

Funny how God offers you everything you've asked for, only to force you to turn it away. — Sunjeev Sahota

I once asked my father for a dollar for the school picnic. He told me how he once killed a grizzly bear with his loose-leaf notebook. — Bill Cosby

Be careful, though."
"Aren't I always?"
"No, I think the word for how you usually are is 'reckless. — Veronica Roth

No matter how strong you are, you cannot hold open the jaws of a great-white shark with your bare hands ... that can do your brain. — Ivan Stoikov

Did he teach you how to bore you opponents to sleep? Because I think I missed that lesson - Allie — Julie Kagawa

I don't know how long i could be a vet before i got bored and started shagging stuff. — Frankie Boyle

Funny how they're corpses if you didn't know them, but bodies if you did. — Jason Heller

It's funny how even when you've lived with someone your whole life, they can still surprise you. — Shannon Wiersbitzky

It's funny how the hippies and the punks tried to get rid of the conservatives, but they always seem to get the upper hand in the end. — Bjork

Funny, isn't it, how quickly the future becomes the past. — Lauren Oliver

So, how did you all meet? — Donna Air

This funny thing we call love, how simple it may seem. To say it is sometimes enough but to feel it is a dream. — Raneem Kayyali

I hold together pretty well, considering how much my atoms have been through. — Andrew Smith

The funny thing about mundies is how obsessed with magic they are for a bunch of people who don't even know what the word means. — Cassandra Clare

It's funny how the closer you get to God, the more you realize how far you are from Him. — Mark Hart

Um ... Mercer? Haven't seen you in nearly a month. I was expecting something like, 'Oh Cross, love of my heart, fire of my loins, how I've longed
— Rachel Hawkins

How funny are dogs? — John Marsden

It is curious how fatal it is, either to a situation or to an individual, or even to a name, if in an evil moment it becomes funny. — Margaret Deland

You have a gorgeous ass, and it holds handprints beautifully.
Oh, well, how nice for me. — Cherise Sinclair

Isn't it funny how something that will later be a blessing can be a curse if you get it too soon. — T.D. Jakes

How very wet this water is. — L. Frank Baum

Funny how someone telling you not to do something can talk you into it. — Richelle Mead

Yes she met with a slight accident involving a stake." Ash said "funny how that happens sometimes ... — L.J.Smith

I had a funny feeling that day, all day: something about how much I liked my life and where I was with it. — John Darnielle

First, I'm going to teach you how to Irish Whip someone."
"Oh, that sounds kinky. I want my safeword to be peaches," I said, grinning. — Kyle Adams