Give Me Funny Quotes: top 41 famous quotes about Give Me Funny

Give Me Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Give Me Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Give Me Funny Quotes By Orson Scott Card: Remember, I'm the only person her who's paid

Remember, I'm the only person her who's paid to be nice to you. But not too nice. Give me any lip and I'll break your face. OK? — Orson Scott Card

Give Me Funny Quotes By Eugene Ormandy: I cannot give it to you, so try

I cannot give it to you, so try to watch me. — Eugene Ormandy

Give Me Funny Quotes By Christopher Farnsworth: What did you think of him?" Cade asked."Give

What did you think of him?" Cade asked.
"Give me some credit," Zach said. "Guy's more full of shit than a duck pond. — Christopher Farnsworth

Give Me Funny Quotes By Caroline Shaw: I could read music and sing all the

I could read music and sing all the right notes at the right time. And over time, I literally found my voice, found a way to make sound. — Caroline Shaw

Give Me Funny Quotes By John Scalzi: You don't have paperwork," Savitri said. "You give

You don't have paperwork," Savitri said. "You give it all to me." "Is it done?" I asked. "As far as you know, yes," Savitri said. — John Scalzi

Give Me Funny Quotes By Sara Humphreys: Don't even think of arguing with me. I'm

Don't even think of arguing with me. I'm an old woman and if you fight me about it, it could give me a heart attack. — Sara Humphreys

Give Me Funny Quotes By Vera Caspary: The cat crossed the street daintily, pointing his

The cat crossed the street daintily, pointing his feet like a ballet dancer, lifting them high as if his feet were too good for the pavement. — Vera Caspary

Give Me Funny Quotes By Richard Siken: I've been in your body, baby, and it

I've been in your body, baby, and it was paradise.
I've been in your body and it was a carnival ride. — Richard Siken

Give Me Funny Quotes By Sherrilyn Kenyon: Well, someone slap my butt and give me

Well, someone slap my butt and give me a hero cookie. (Nick) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Give Me Funny Quotes By Zoe Forward: You're going to be trouble, aren't you?""Not if

You're going to be trouble, aren't you?"
"Not if you give me everything I want."
"We'll see. — Zoe Forward

Give Me Funny Quotes By Adam Ferrara: My father tried to give me the sex

My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.' — Adam Ferrara

Give Me Funny Quotes By Oscar Wilde: Give me the luxuries and I can dispense

Give me the luxuries and I can dispense with the necessities. — Oscar Wilde

Give Me Funny Quotes By Callisto Media: Being present means just that. Feeling your feelings

Being present means just that. Feeling your feelings as they come up. Experiencing your sensations as they occur. — Callisto Media

Give Me Funny Quotes By M. Robinson: I own your balls, huh !" She grinned,

I own your balls, huh !" She grinned, laughing." I'll have to remember that the nest time you give me any shit. " (El Diablo) — M. Robinson

Give Me Funny Quotes By Jacob Aagaard: Whenever we see an unprotected piece we must

Whenever we see an unprotected piece we must keep our eyes peeled because this is one of the most important ingredients of a combination. — Jacob Aagaard

Give Me Funny Quotes By Myka 9: If you're doing something that you love to

If you're doing something that you love to make a living, make sure you love it and make sure you do it. — Myka 9

Give Me Funny Quotes By Sigmund Freud: What is characteristic of illusions is that they

What is characteristic of illusions is that they are derived from human wishes. — Sigmund Freud

Give Me Funny Quotes By Jack Benny: Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. — Jack Benny

Give Me Funny Quotes By Robert Fulghum: It's not that I'm not grateful for all

It's not that I'm not grateful for all this attention. It's just that fame and fortune ought to add up to more than fame and fortune. — Robert Fulghum

Give Me Funny Quotes By Gwen Stefani: And all I know is, you've got to

And all I know is, you've got to give me everything. Nothing less 'cause, you know I give you all of me. — Gwen Stefani

Give Me Funny Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I want to rob a bank with a

I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win." — Mitch Hedberg

Give Me Funny Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: My love's got a lot of love to

My love's got a lot of love to give. Unfortunately, she gives none of it to me. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Give Me Funny Quotes By Cameron Jace: Money feels funny in my hands. If I

Money feels funny in my hands. If I give you this slice of paper, you let me on the bus? It's ridiculous. — Cameron Jace

Give Me Funny Quotes By Gertrude Atherton: Men are not amusing during the shooting season;

Men are not amusing during the shooting season; but, after all, my dear, men were not especially designed to amuse women. — Gertrude Atherton

Give Me Funny Quotes By Craig Thompson: I think with 'Chunky Rice,' it felt novel

I think with 'Chunky Rice,' it felt novel to me to give this emo twist on these funny animals. — Craig Thompson

Give Me Funny Quotes By Mark Watson: Someone asked me recently - what would I

Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife. — Mark Watson

Give Me Funny Quotes By Ron Richards: My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes

My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there. — Ron Richards

Give Me Funny Quotes By Michael J. Fox: My age makes me think how valuable life

My age makes me think how valuable life is. How bad is something like Parkinson's in relation to not having life at all? — Michael J. Fox

Give Me Funny Quotes By Jimmy Fallon: Thank you adult mittens, for allowing me to

Thank you adult mittens, for allowing me to give people the finger without them knowing it. — Jimmy Fallon

Give Me Funny Quotes By Robin Williams: We were talking briefly about cocaine ... yeah.

We were talking briefly about cocaine ... yeah. Anything that makes you paranoid and impotent, give me more of that! — Robin Williams

Give Me Funny Quotes By Haven Kimmel: What kind of good deeds? Like Girl Scouts?

What kind of good deeds? Like Girl Scouts? Because I got kicked out of Brownies and they won't give me another chance to keep my clothes on at camp. — Haven Kimmel

Give Me Funny Quotes By John Ridley: Bigots are actually funny to me in the

Bigots are actually funny to me in the way that people who still wear parachute pants give me a chuckle. — John Ridley

Give Me Funny Quotes By Marie Lu: So. Tell me, little wolf. Do you want

So. Tell me, little wolf. Do you want to punish those who have wronged you? — Marie Lu

Give Me Funny Quotes By Dan Castellaneta: Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Operator! Give me the number for 911! — Dan Castellaneta

Give Me Funny Quotes By Tallulah Bankhead: I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional

I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic, and the others either give me a stiff neck or lockjaw. — Tallulah Bankhead

Give Me Funny Quotes By Tahereh Mafi: I'm caught in colliding currents of confusion, so

I'm caught in colliding currents of confusion, so desperate so desperate so desperate to be close so desperate to be far away. — Tahereh Mafi

Give Me Funny Quotes By Ellen DeGeneres: Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've

Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him work. — Ellen DeGeneres

Give Me Funny Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I used to drink wine. This girl asked

I used to drink wine. This girl asked me, "Doesn't wine give you a headache?" "Yeah, eventually, but the first and the middle part are amazing!" — Mitch Hedberg

Give Me Funny Quotes By Tom Althouse: To me, the best humor is indeed the

To me, the best humor is indeed the ability to laugh at one's self. So I give myself endless opportunities to do so. — Tom Althouse

Give Me Funny Quotes By Catullus: Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred,

Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred, then a thousand more. — Catullus

Give Me Funny Quotes By Eric Clapton: Give me a guitar and I'll play; give

Give me a guitar and I'll play; give me a stage and I'll perform; give me an auditorium and I'll fill it. — Eric Clapton