Giraldo Quotes: top 32 famous quotes about Giraldo

Giraldo Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Giraldo quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

If I drive my SUV I'm supporting terrorism. Okay, I'll take a taxi, Is that better? — Greg Giraldo

The reality is I'm not this person with this driving 'get it done' attitude. — Greg Giraldo

There hasn't been a more effeminate Jew in the closet since Anne Frank. — Greg Giraldo

The only reason we're not in Iran now is because we're going alphabetically and George Bush can't spell. — Greg Giraldo

If you spend five minutes with me or watch me try to balance my checkbook, you can only imagine the disaster I would make of anyone's legal issues. — Greg Giraldo

It's something like 70% of American adults are obese, and the rest of them are women on Ally McBeal. — Greg Giraldo

My advice to graduates is to stay positive. Life is short, and you'll be dead soon. — Greg Giraldo

We need more money for schools. We need more money for the kids. Ever think maybe the damn kids aren't worth it? — Greg Giraldo

Why do we need another station where everyone has a gun? We already have BET. — Greg Giraldo

We're a spoiled, lazy culture, full of ethnic pride that has to have a parade for every nationality. — Greg Giraldo

Joke stealing is a big deal to me, but I mean, I'm not going to investigate it if it doesn't effect me directly. — Greg Giraldo

In catholisism we have an entire religion based on a woman who really stuck to her story — Greg Giraldo

"You're an old man who dresses like a Hooter's waitress." — Greg Giraldo

Ice-T is so old that the first thing he bought with the money from his album sales was his freedom. — Greg Giraldo

If being a gangster were a prerequisite to being a musician, there'd be a lot less cello music, for example. — Greg Giraldo

I've always had real trouble knowing what my actual desires and goals are. I've just been dragged along by fate. — Greg Giraldo

If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds. — Greg Giraldo

How many of you text message? It's a great way of not communicating. — Greg Giraldo

I like when people give up chocolate for Lent. Ooh, just like being nailed to a cross. — Greg Giraldo

Edible underwear? ... even during sex, we can't stop eating. — Greg Giraldo

All the evidence we need that God is angry with us is Justin Timberlake's career. — Greg Giraldo

Do you know how short you have to be to have a Napoleon complex in North Korea? — Greg Giraldo

The hardest part, for real, is probably when you just don't feel like going on stage and being funny. — Greg Giraldo

It's hard to distinguish when I was actually struggling from when I only felt like I was struggling - which was pretty much always. — Greg Giraldo

The reality is I'm not a 'get knocked down and come back harder' kind of guy. — Greg Giraldo

Americans are not gonna conserve. We're not gonna shift to smaller cars. We can't - we have big, fat kids. — Greg Giraldo

Look at the insane things the Jews believe. The Jews believe that Barbra Streisand is worth $1,000 bucks a ticket. — Greg Giraldo

Even before the kids are born, you've go to make these decisions. If it's a boy, do we get him circumcised? If it's a girl, do we keep her? — Greg Giraldo

People come to this country from all over the world to pursue their dreams of driving a taxi or selling hot dogs or working in a sweatshop. — Greg Giraldo

There are more whipped guys on television than there were on the Amistad. — Greg Giraldo

There are no black people in Iraq, so how will they know who to shoot at? — Greg Giraldo

People always want to compare their dogs to having kids. That's insulting. First of all, nobody has a dog because they were too drunk to pull out. — Greg Giraldo