George Carlin Life Quotes
Collection of top 33 famous quotes about George Carlin Life
George Carlin Life Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational George Carlin Life quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
— George Carlin
Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
— George Carlin
Life is a near-death experience.
— George Carlin
Life is not that complicated.
— George Carlin
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
— George Carlin
People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
— George Carlin
O. J. Simpson has already received the ultimate punishment: For the rest of his life he has to associate with golfers.
— George Carlin
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.
— George Carlin
Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple.
— George Carlin
Looking back, I realize that my life has been a series of incidents where one person has said to another, "Get this asshole outta here!"
— George Carlin
Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
— George Carlin
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
— George Carlin
Life is tough, then you die.
— George Carlin
God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.
— George Carlin
Life is a series of dogs.
— George Carlin
I'm a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
— George Carlin
In some company it's perfectly all right to prick your finger, but very bad form to finger your prick.
— George Carlin
I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.
— George Carlin
Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh..apologiz e..let go of what you can't change.
— George Carlin
Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.
— George Carlin
Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
— George Carlin
I feel sorry for confetti. Its useful life lasts about two seconds. And it can never be used again.
— George Carlin
I wanna live. I don't wanna die. That's the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade
— George Carlin
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
— George Carlin
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
— George Carlin
Life is a zero sum game.
— George Carlin