George Carlin Life Quotes: top 33 famous quotes about George Carlin Life

George Carlin Life Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational George Carlin Life quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. — George Carlin

Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I've stayed alive. — George Carlin

Life is a near-death experience. — George Carlin

Life is not that complicated. — George Carlin

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands. — George Carlin

People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process. — George Carlin

O. J. Simpson has already received the ultimate punishment: For the rest of his life he has to associate with golfers. — George Carlin

The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. — George Carlin

Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple. — George Carlin

People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. — George Carlin

Looking back, I realize that my life has been a series of incidents where one person has said to another, "Get this asshole outta here!" — George Carlin

Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch. — George Carlin

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it. — George Carlin

That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff. — George Carlin

Life is tough, then you die. — George Carlin

God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile. — George Carlin

Life is a series of dogs. — George Carlin

I'm a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! — George Carlin

In some company it's perfectly all right to prick your finger, but very bad form to finger your prick. — George Carlin

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it. — George Carlin

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life. — George Carlin

Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh..apologiz e..let go of what you can't change. — George Carlin

Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. — George Carlin

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. — George Carlin

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying. — George Carlin

I feel sorry for confetti. Its useful life lasts about two seconds. And it can never be used again. — George Carlin

I wanna live. I don't wanna die. That's the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade — George Carlin

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. — George Carlin

Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. — George Carlin

Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning. — George Carlin

George Carlin was great right up to the end of his life. But Richard Pryor was probably the best, most gifted stand-up comedian who will ever live. — Denis Leary

It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot. — George Carlin

Life is a zero sum game. — George Carlin