Garrison's Quotes
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Garrison's Quotes & Sayings
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To get rid of anger you can change the situation or change how you think about the situation.
— Garrison Wynn
It's never too late.
— John D. Garrison
A compassionate conservative is someone who electrocutes juveniles but lets them have a last 'make a wish'.
— Garrison Keillor
God writes a lot of comedy ... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
— Garrison Keillor
If you speak to anyone who's ever done time, the fact that you make it out of there alive is a miracle.
— Lane Garrison
That's what happens when you're angry at people. You make them part of your life. - Garrison Keillor In
— Gavin De Becker
Some of us have a relentless urge to attempt what we can never be good at and neglect our true calling.
— Garrison Keillor
There's no mastery to be had. You love the attempt. You don't master a story any more than you master a river. You feel lucky to canoe down it.
— Garrison Keillor
Bad things don't happen to writers; it's all material.
— Garrison Keillor
Marriage, friends, is a lifelong feast; love is no light lunch.
— Garrison Keillor
It?s a beautiful descent in a 737, into the Bitterroot Valley, following the Clark Fork River, on a perfect golden autumn day .
— Garrison Keillor
No man shall rule over me with my consent. I will rule over no man.
— William Lloyd Garrison
You don't have to justify a beautiful stroke of good luck. Accept it. Smile and say thank you.
— Garrison Keillor
You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.
— Garrison Keillor
In the end, all solutions are temporary.
— Garrison Keillor
Circumstances do not create the quality of your life.
— Garrison Wynn
We all know you can get AIDS from sex, but did you know that you can get sex from aides?
— Garrison Keillor
Squirrels are just rats with good publicity
— Garrison Wynn
Honesty is a rare commodity in a palace, and that is why so many fairy-tale marriages end up on the rocks.
— Garrison Keillor
Eating a little was like vomiting a little, just as bad as a lot.
— Garrison Keillor
We thank you [the soldiers recently returned from the middle east] for your service.
— Garrison Keillor
Love is a passion that hath friends in the garrison.
— George Savile
If time heals all wounds, then why are there so many ticked off old people walking around
— Garrison Wynn
A good friend is a person who thinks you're one of the good eggs, even if he knows you're a little cracked.
— Garrison Keillor
Do you think it's right for Christians to use the names of pagan gods for the days of the week?
— Garrison Keillor
If you can't manage the future, you don't have a future.
— Garrison Wynn
March is the month God created to show people who don't drink what a hangover is like.
— Garrison Keillor
In the end, crime doesn't pay.
— Lane Garrison
There's so many people who move around our country and lose track of their own ancestry. It's nice to know where you come from.
— Garrison Keillor
I'm not in the business of harassing anybody.
— Jim Garrison
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
— Garrison Keillor
Peace begins in each person's heart and then is passed on to the people they love most. Then they pass it on until everyone has peace in their heart.
— Jennifer Garrison
Roy Blount's stuff makes me laugh so hard, sometimes I have to go sit in a room and shut the door
— Garrison Keillor
I write on a laptop, so it's impossible to count drafts anymore.
— Garrison Keillor
Winter: It's not just a season, it's who we are.
— Garrison Keillor
Not everyone has a Life's Work. Some people simply have a Life.
— Garrison Keillor
Second violins can play a concerto perfectly if they're in their own home and nobody's there.
— Garrison Keillor
I longed for the pitter-patter of little feet, so I got a dog. It's cheaper, and you get more feet.
— Garrison Keillor
Sometimes you have to avoid mentioning things because people's feelings are tender.
— Garrison Keillor
A man's country is the world.
— William Lloyd Garrison
It's not how you to come to Christ but how close you walk with him thereafter that is paramount.
— Lakya M Garrison
That's the news from Lake Woebegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
— Garrison Keillor
Bonnie and Clyde were almost like a modern-day Robin Hood, stealing 'the government's money.' I think that's a bit of why they were glorified.
— Lane Garrison
A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded gun on your coffee table- There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about.
— Garrison Keillor
Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living.
— Garrison Keillor
It's better to be burnished with use than rusty with principle.
— Garrison Keillor
Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It's not the point of the thing, is it?
— Garrison Keillor
That's why God created marriage, so people wouldn't have to fight with strangers.
— Garrison Keillor
It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
— Garrison Keillor
Every show is your last show. That's my philosophy.
— Garrison Keillor
You know how impossible it is, in short, to have a free nation if it is a military nation and under military orders
— Woodrow Wilson
Are right and wrong convertible terms, dependant upon popular opinion?
— William Lloyd Garrison
A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.
— Garrison Keillor
My country is the world; my countrymen are mankind.
— William Lloyd Garrison
Goals are like the gas in your car, you may go in many different directions after you fill up, but with out the gas you are not going anywhere
— Garrison Wynn
If you criticize others' ideas, they will almost never use yours no matter how good they are.
— Garrison Wynn
My ability to keep cool in a crisis is based entirely on not knowing all the facts.
— Garrison Keillor
If risk is the key factor to success and really smart people avoid it, you might not be dumb enough to succeed!
— Garrison Wynn
Give up your good 'Christian' life and follow Jesus
— Garrison Keillor
If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?
— Garrison Keillor
Let us follow our destiny, ebb and flow. Whatever may happen, we master fortune by accepting it.
- Virgil — Daniel Garrison
- Virgil — Daniel Garrison
An interesting thing about New York City is that the subways run through the sewers.
— Garrison Keillor
I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
— Garrison Keillor
Connecting to your passion is being you, but better.
— Garrison Wynn
Going to church no more making you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car.
— Garrison Keillor
Being an English major prepares you for impersonating authority.
— Garrison Keillor
I'm not busy ... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy.
— Garrison Keillor
Everyone should be treated fairly no matter what they look like.
— William Lloyd Garrison
Change is an action not just an epiphany!
— Garrison Wynn
Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it!
— Garrison Keillor
Communication is like the basics of mechanical engineering, the more moving parts you have the more likely it is to break down!
— Garrison Wynn
Secret of life is to go through something harrowing that doesnt kill you ... and to love one woman for the rest of your life.
— Garrison Keillor
Action and adaptability create opportunity.
— Garrison Wynn
How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? How many therapists do you think it takes to change a lightbulb?
— Garrison Keillor
You are never so smart again in a language learned in middle age nor so romantic, brave or kind.
— Garrison Keillor
If you can't trust your can open, then what?
— Garrison Keillor
People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them.
— Garrison Keillor
No matter what time of year I come here, people always say the same thing: Its not usually like this.
— Garrison Keillor
Sing your song; don't let the bastards get you down.
— Garrison Keillor
Never insult a writer. You may find yourself immortalized in ways you may not appreciate.
— Garrison Keillor
Action and flexibility create opportunity
— Garrison Wynn
Give guilt - the gift that lasts forever.
— Garrison Keillor
Humor is not a trick, not jokes. Humor is a presence in the world - like grace - and shines on everybody.
— Garrison Keillor
Life is continuous. Life never stops. We come to the really great questions and before we can answer them, life has moved on to something else.
— Garrison Keillor
Love has the power to rescue us and not let go, otherwise it isn't love
— Garrison Keillor
Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that.
— Garrison Keillor
Practice makes polish and polish makes money.
— Garrison Wynn
How many pessimists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never mind. Nobody would get the joke anyway.
— Garrison Keillor
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
— Garrison Keillor
If you can't trust a Methodist with absolute power to arrest people and not have to say why, then whom can you trust?
— Garrison Keillor
When the customer is wrong it is not a good idea to tell them.
— Garrison Wynn