Gabriel Iglesias Quotes: top 67 famous quotes about Gabriel Iglesias

Gabriel Iglesias Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Gabriel Iglesias quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

If I'm drinking I can either be the nicest guy ever or I'm the guy you should leave alone. — Gabriel Iglesias

I'm not on a diet. And it's funny cause people go 'Well, then why do you drink diet soda?' So I can eat regular cake. — Gabriel Iglesias

When you leave, you basically want to go eat, because I talk a lot about food in my act. So when you leave, you leave hungry. — Gabriel Iglesias

I have very nice cars. I never get to drive them, because I'm never home. — Gabriel Iglesias

Some people can handle alcohol. You know who you are. Some people can't handle alcohol. The police know who you are. — Gabriel Iglesias

I want to be known as a funny comic not just a funny Latino comic. I want to be able to go everywhere and anywhere. — Gabriel Iglesias

My favorite people to have fun with are police officers 'cause they're so serious, you know. — Gabriel Iglesias

With all the classes they offer at school, how come they don't have one for common sense? — Gabriel Iglesias

You live by the cake, you die by the cake. — Gabriel Iglesias

I have always been told that I was a funny, entertaining person and have always been told to give comedy a try. — Gabriel Iglesias

I never go perform somewhere alone. I've done that since day one. I've always taken other comics with me. — Gabriel Iglesias

When you go to Hawaii, it's all about "Aloha." It means hello, goodbye and I love you. — Gabriel Iglesias

When you're a comedian, the Holy Grail is an hour long HBO special. — Gabriel Iglesias

Early on when I started talking about my weight, it was self-deprecating; everything was a joke. — Gabriel Iglesias

I try not to get political, I don't want to get religious, I don't want to get controversial, I just want to have a show that relates to everybody. — Gabriel Iglesias

Why do people measure life by the years instead of how good the years were? — Gabriel Iglesias

I'll walk up to a woman, I'll say the first thing that comes to mind: 'Hey, you hungry?' — Gabriel Iglesias

Make sure you're doing impressions of people that are still relevant, and that everyone knows. Red Skelton impressions are a little outdated. — Gabriel Iglesias

People think if you have money, it'll fix the problems, but it creates different ones. — Gabriel Iglesias

Anything is possible as long as you're focused, determined and you really want to do it. — Gabriel Iglesias

I usually travel with a posse. I roll deep. I travel like a rapper, but without the artillery. We don't carry guns, we carry cookies. — Gabriel Iglesias

Me racist? The only race I hate is the one you have to run. — Gabriel Iglesias

As far as guys who perform onstage, I love Chris Rock. I'm kind of jaded on everyone else. — Gabriel Iglesias

I eat a lot of junk food, because that's what's usually available at 1:00am when I'm all done working. — Gabriel Iglesias

I found that laughter was a form of acceptance, and I really enjoyed that and I just - I crave it. — Gabriel Iglesias

I'm always ready for TV. I don't have to edit my jokes - when you work clean, you can work anywhere. — Gabriel Iglesias

You wonder why I only talk about my personal life. But that's all I've ever done. — Gabriel Iglesias

When I go to dance clubs, I always dance with big girls, so we finish at the same time. — Gabriel Iglesias

I'm a big boy, but I can get jiggy with it. Ladies, I will go to dance clubs, and I will tear it up hardcore for a good 30 seconds. — Gabriel Iglesias

There's 5 levels of fatness! Fluffy is one of the levels. There's big, healthy, husky, fluffy and damn. — Gabriel Iglesias

I wanted to be a comedian, and this is what I'm doing. If I can keep this going, I'm happy. — Gabriel Iglesias

I don't want to die tomorrow knowing I could've had a piece of cake tonight. — Gabriel Iglesias

When I first got to St. Louis, I saw the arch and I said, 'I want to go to that McDonalds. — Gabriel Iglesias

Life is measured by how you lived it, not by the years. — Gabriel Iglesias

I got off the plane - I was walking and cooking at the same time. — Gabriel Iglesias

I had to travel half way across the world to be called an American. — Gabriel Iglesias

I learned early on, stay away from politics, stay away from religion and don't talk about sports. Those three right there will get you in trouble. — Gabriel Iglesias

Comedians do movies and TV so that when they tour, they sell out. That's the goal: To get popular enough so the place is packed. — Gabriel Iglesias

When I was a kid I did impressions and funny voices a lot. When I was telling a story I would use the voices to make it more entertaining. — Gabriel Iglesias

I want to get so famous that I don't have to wake up in the morning. It'll probably never happen. — Gabriel Iglesias

I almost bought a DeLorean the other day just because. If I see something that I think is cool and I like it, I'll go for it. — Gabriel Iglesias

I know enough football to know that's funny! — Gabriel Iglesias

I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake. — Gabriel Iglesias

Comedy is my passion. I'm going to do this until I drop. — Gabriel Iglesias

If you Google the word "fluffy," I'm the first thing that pops up. It's me, dogs and rabbits. — Gabriel Iglesias

Drinking can bring out a dude that has some issues. — Gabriel Iglesias

Kids, man, they're way too honest. They're like mini-alcoholics. — Gabriel Iglesias

I see a lot of nice hotels, but I never really get to enjoy the cities, because I have to be on a plane the next day. — Gabriel Iglesias

You know what I learned about Hawaiians? They're just blown up Mexicans! — Gabriel Iglesias

I'm a comedian who happens to be Latino. What's the difference? The difference is, my special will air on Comedy Central, not Telemundo. — Gabriel Iglesias

Hanging out with comics, all they did was make fun of me. — Gabriel Iglesias

It's because you alienate half the room talking about sports. Half the crowd will be against you no matter what you say. — Gabriel Iglesias

Believe it or not, I've got a really bad metabolism. One burger and I'm done. I'm not a guy that puts away 10 burgers. — Gabriel Iglesias

I'm not fat. I'm fluffy! — Gabriel Iglesias

I don't even have a clue as to where to find a pregnancy test. I'm looking at all the aisles ... they don't have one that says 'oops. — Gabriel Iglesias

Home in bed listening to the rain getting ready to order a pizza. Sounds like a song til the last part. — Gabriel Iglesias

You gotta live life before you can talk about it. Sometimes when things don't work out in life, they work out on stage. — Gabriel Iglesias

I'm always very happy to talk to people. I relate to people, and the guy on stage is very much the guy that's off stage. People know when it's fake. — Gabriel Iglesias

I'm a big guy, but I'm really simple with the food. I'll hit the In-N-Out or just the regular buffets. — Gabriel Iglesias

I see a Latino comic as someone who can only perform for Latino audiences. I cross the board. — Gabriel Iglesias

We can choose our family. We can't choose our relatives. — Gabriel Iglesias

I love Australia. First of all, everyone is so nice. The people are down to Earth, and they like having fun with you. — Gabriel Iglesias

You can't be bad ass in a car that kills gas like I kill tacos. — Gabriel Iglesias

I was not the popular kid in school. — Gabriel Iglesias

The only way I will do a sitcom is if it's hurled at me, and I don't have to work for it. — Gabriel Iglesias

I was very dirty; I was a very dirty comic. There was no way I would have gotten on TV with the act I had when I first started. — Gabriel Iglesias

I'm not fat. It's just my awesomeness swelling up inside of me. — Gabriel Iglesias