G Carlin Quotes: top 30 famous quotes about G Carlin

G Carlin Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational G Carlin quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament. — George Carlin

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. — George Carlin

I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy. — George Carlin

Life is not that complicated. — George Carlin

Carlin always said that most men were dogs, and Kelsea had never taken her seriously; there were too many good books written by men. — Erika Johansen

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! — George Carlin

E-I-E-I-O is actually a gross misspelling of the word farm. — George Carlin

The older you get, the better you realize you were. — George Carlin

Never give up on an idea simply because it is bad and doesn't work. — George Carlin

Somehow I enjoy watching people suffer. — George Carlin

Where does the dentist go when he leaves the room? — George Carlin

We created god in our own image and likeness! — George Carlin

Whoever coined the term "Buyer Beware" was probably bleeding from the asshole. — George Carlin

With humans it's abortion, but with chickens it's an omelet. — George Carlin

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. — George Carlin

Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away? — George Carlin

I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well. — George Carlin

Weather tonight: dark. Turning partly light by morning. — George Carlin

They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles. — George Carlin

Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you. — George Carlin

Let's not have a double standard. One standard will do just fine. — George Carlin

If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side? — George Carlin

And now gay people want to get married ... Haven't they suffered enough? — George Carlin

I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. — George Carlin

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. — George Carlin

Is there another word for synonym? — George Carlin

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. — George Carlin

Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails. — George Carlin

Bullshit is truly the American soundtrack. — George Carlin

I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's. — George Carlin