G Carlin Quotes
Collection of top 30 famous quotes about G Carlin
G Carlin Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational G Carlin quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
— George Carlin
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
— George Carlin
I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
— George Carlin
Life is not that complicated.
— George Carlin
Carlin always said that most men were dogs, and Kelsea had never taken her seriously; there were too many good books written by men.
— Erika Johansen
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
— George Carlin
E-I-E-I-O is actually a gross misspelling of the word farm.
— George Carlin
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
— George Carlin
Somehow I enjoy watching people suffer.
— George Carlin
Where does the dentist go when he leaves the room?
— George Carlin
We created god in our own image and likeness!
— George Carlin
With humans it's abortion, but with chickens it's an omelet.
— George Carlin
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
— George Carlin
I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.
— George Carlin
Weather tonight: dark. Turning partly light by morning.
— George Carlin
They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.
— George Carlin
If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
— George Carlin
I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker.
— George Carlin
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
— George Carlin
Is there another word for synonym?
— George Carlin
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
— George Carlin
Bullshit is truly the American soundtrack.
— George Carlin
