Funny You're Not Old Quotes: top 40 famous quotes about Funny You're Not Old

Funny You're Not Old Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny You're Not Old quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Old age is - a lot of crossed off names in an address book. — Ronald Blythe

What would you rather be? 52 and look 52, or 52 and look like a 28-year-old lizard? — Bill Burr

If you are truly offended by an 80-year-old man saying you're not funny, then you're probably not funny. — Sarah Silverman

The shooting of the guns, that was kind of funny, because rolling a cigarette and shooting a gun aren't like normal things for a 13-year old girl! — Hailee Steinfeld

Funny how something that seemed so insignificant, just an old bowl with faded glazed stripes, could trigger so many memories. — Dorothea Benton Frank

It's a funny old world. Once you realize that, you're halfway there. — Maeve Binchy

The people voting for the Oscars are so old. I haven't seen one Academy Award voter with a tampon in her purse. — Joan Rivers

Plans?" he snorted. "I'm ninety-three years old! Who in tarnation makes plans at my age? I could stop breathin' any minute now. — Linda Howard

I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least, that's what he told us in the letter.. — Drew Carey

I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

There was the smell of old books, a smell that has a way of making all libraries seem the same. Some say that smell is asbestos. — Scott Douglas

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. — Robert Orben

I used to laugh at that old wheeze about a man wanting his son to be better than he was, but as I get older it seems less funny and more true. — Stephen King

I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's called "They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away 'Cause I'm Not Raking 'Til Spring." — Steven Wright

I got me a fine wife and I got me old fiddle, when the suns coming up I got cakes on the griddle. And life ain't nothing, but a funny, funny riddle. — John Denver

You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living. — Jim Norton

Can I fetch you something, madam? A cup of tea?'
In the old days she'd have been 'miss' and he'd have offered her a cocktail. — Sara Sheridan

You see, unlike most writers today, I do not use a computer. I write the old-fashioned way: on the walls of caves. — Cuthbert Soup

Cause hearts are amazing things. They get lots bigger to make room for new people to love alongside the old people you love. -Simi — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Don't cross me Scooby-Doo. I'm not an old man in a mask waiting to be thwarted by you meddling kids. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Funny, 'ow you can 'old a jewel in your 'and, and toss it away, and not even know what you 'ad until it's gone. — Jennifer Donnelly

You amaze me. You're 229 years old and that's what you think is funny. — Max Wright

Elena, my four year old, says to me in all seriousness; "Mommy, you need to buy another baby". — Ronald Reagan

Why does the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Italian Navy! — Henny Youngman

Maybe that is why kids like Dumbledore: because he is funny rather than a miserable old sod with a long white beard. — Michael Gambon

It's funny what can happen when you lay bare the heart and join the Earth's old dance through the heavens. — James Lee Burke

When it's all said and done remember, You are only as old as you look. — Mark W. Boyer

That is simply the most beautiful publishing office in the world, with that cranky old building in that wonderful park. — Jim Harrison

In my prime I could have handled Michael Jordan. Of course, he would be only 12 years old. — Jerry Sloan

I have tried ... believe me, I have tried to like rap music. It makes me feel so very, very old. I have tried to get home with the downies. — Dylan Moran

Huge Jackman has divorced his wife and happened upon my picture in some old article and decided that I'm the woman for him?

~ Susan — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Don't you think you're quite young?'
'I'm twenty-one,' said Brida. 'If I wanted to start learning ballet, I'd be conseidered too old. — Paulo Coelho

It's funny how despair can soon become an old companion — Jacqueline Carey

Tradition or not, I sometimes thought putting children on an old guy's lap was already creepy enough. We didn't need to mix alcohol into it. — Richelle Mead

The thing I don't get about paedophilia ... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy? — Frankie Boyle

The funny thing about history is that we imagine that people didn't laugh in the old days, but of course they did, at stupid things. — Terry Jones

There once was an old man of Lyme who married three wives at a time when asked, 'Why a third?' he replied 'One's absurd! and bigamy, sir, is a crime!' — William Cosmo Monkhouse

When there is an old maid in the house, a watchdog is unnecessary. — Honore De Balzac

Nostalgia is heroin for old people. — Dara O Briain

Penard's got a secret baby!' Fifteen-year-old Richard twisted his lips up at one end. 'Maybe he has a secret wife in the attic! — Olivia Newport