Funny Work Humor Quotes
Collection of top 39 famous quotes about Funny Work Humor
Funny Work Humor Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Work Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?
— Woody Allen
I have a roommate, and I signed a year lease. I screwed up! That's like I wrote a joke that didn't work, but now I have to tell it for a year.
— Mitch Hedberg
I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning ... That can keep me awake for days..
— Billy Connolly
Part of being a good gymnast is being very disciplined - you have to know how to train right, eat right, sleep right.
— Jonathan Horton
This surely is a good rule: whenever you see a fault in any other man, or any other church, look for it in yourself and in your own church.
— Warren W. Wiersbe
![Funny Work Humor Quotes By Howard Dean: Stop scapegoating immigrants[Stop using] outrageous phrases like 'illegal](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/funny-work-humor-quotes-by-howard-dean-206821.jpg "Funny Work Humor Quotes By Howard Dean: Stop scapegoating immigrants[Stop using] outrageous phrases like 'illegal")
Inconvenience in progress, work is regretted.
— Aravind Adiga
Youth is a question of energy.
— Vanessa Paradis
Bringing a pot plant to the office, I believe, is a sign of quite serious commitment.
— Danielle Wood
She became whoever she needed to be to survive,but she never let anyone else define her.
— Jodi Picoult
I don't know how breeder marriages ever work, since the wife never seems to understand.
— Andrea Speed
My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."
— Tim Vine
I've never met anyone that is their image.
— Macy Gray
I used to work at the unemployment office. I hated it, because when they fired me, I had to show up to work anyway.
— Wallace Wang
The human body is the best work of art.
— Jess C. Scott
It's kinda weird sometimes going on tour with bands because you never really know what to expect.
— Kellin Quinn
If it doesn't work, at least it will be an interesting train wreck.
— Craig Ferguson
Torn clothes are funny ... until your dad gets fired.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
I do pauses, pauses work for me
— Dylan Moran
I had heard of offices feeling like prisons, but in this case our prison felt, rather anticlimactically, like an office.
— William Ritter
Blankets make great traps for the clinically insane, but a straightjacket might work better.
— Nicole McKay
Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him work.
— Ellen DeGeneres
I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.
— Frank Carson
A vacuum of ideas affects people differently than a vacuum of air, otherwise readers of books would be constantly collapsing.
— Georg C. Lichtenberg
You never get somewhere, without starting from somewhere".
— Abdulazeez Henry Musa
We're all made of the same kind of stuff, and there's none of us made of stuff that's flawless.
— Susan Glaspell
Instead of committing suicide, people go to work.
— Thomas Bernhard
Every Friday is black where I work.
— The Covert Comic
It's funny how things work out sometimes.
— Anthony Horowitz