Funny Say And Quotes
Collection of top 85 famous quotes about Funny Say And
Funny Say And Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Say And quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Which weakness shall I tell her? "I walk funny," I say, and she's satisfied with that. (inside joke)
— Mary E. Pearson
Oh my God, Green," I heard Chubs say from somewhere in the room. "Just take the damn socksand put the kid out of his misery. — Alexandra Bracken
My "Christianity" was once again just the American religion of work hard, do good, feel good, and maybe God will say, "We good.
— Jefferson Bethke
If my name was on a serious work like this it would never get fair treatment. They would all say I had tried to be funny and failed.
— Jerome K. Jerome
What do you say when your friends come to visit and the dog starts humping their leg. Well, if it's a pit bull, you say, "You better let him finish."
— Robert Schimmel
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, "My dad can beat up your dad." I'd say Yeah? When?
— Bill Hicks
- and you'll remember, when they ask you your religion, that you're a Cath'lic. Better say Roman Cath'lic, tho' I'm not fond of the word.
— Rudyard Kipling
He says black, I say white and we do grey
— Lazaro Hernandez
She stared down into her coffee, as if she had more to say, but the words had fallen into the mug and were now too soggy to use.
— Rachel Vincent
If someone were to come up to you in a dark alley and say, "Psst, wanna see a UML diagram?" thatdiagram would probably be a class diagram. — Martin Fowler
I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin
— Bill Watterson
I used to say I wanted somebody funny and intelligent, but kindness is the most important quality in a man.
— Cat Deeley
If she says "I love you," and I say "I know," that's beautiful and acceptable and funny.
— Chris Taylor
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
— Tommy Cooper
I guess we're oil and water. (Phoebe)I'd say we're more like gasoline and a blowtorch. (Dan) — Susan Elizabeth Phillips
I'm just going ahead and say what everyone else here is thinking.This has got to be the weirdest fucking wedding that has ever happened. — Jessica Gadziala
People will say you can't do good and do well. They're wrong, that's idiotic advice.
— Soledad O'Brien
I said alone!"He nodded in agreement. "Aye, you usually say that, and I still stay. It's our way. — Kresley Cole
You don't want to have to be the man and the woman in the relationship. I always say you want a man who can fix the toilet.
— Pamela Anderson
A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could have only one book, what would it be? I always say, How to Build a Boat.
— Stephen Wright
Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, you get it on your shirt.
— Mike Birbiglia
What can I say? I'm like a playground water fountain, I live to wet people's pants.
— Frances Winkler
I want to get a job naming kitchen appliances. That seems easy; refrigerator, toaster, blender. You just say what the thing does and add "er".
— Mitch Hedberg
I say, 'Woe to them that have a nose, a real nose,and come to look round the torture-chamber! Aha, aha, aha! — Gaston Leroux
Mr. A calls me into his office and says he's got bad news and bad news, and which do I want first. I say the bad news.
— George Saunders
If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!"
— Mitch Hedberg
No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!
— Gary Gulman
People want me to be funny all the time. They think I'm being funny no matter what I say or do and that's not the case.
— Christopher Guest
He smiled, surprised. 'This is for me?''No,' she said, 'it's ... ' She couldn't think of anything funny to say. 'Yeah, it's for you. — Rainbow Rowell
Let me just say it out loud so we can laugh together: You're going to find Johnny Depp, take him back to Vahalal, and put him in a zoo?
— Gary Ghislain
Comedians are people who say funny things, and comics are people who say things funny.
— Staton Rabin
With rap, it's a funny thing. You can say things, and people can take 'em the way they wanna take 'em.
— Young Jeezy
You can never look that tough in glasses ... You never see somebody push up their glasses and say, "I'm gonna kick your ass."
— Jim Gaffigan
And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny.
— Roseanne Barr
Whenever I mention Greg Kinnear's name to anyone, they always say, "Oh, love him!" He's a really terrific actor, and very funny.
— Miranda Otto
A woman who is praying and a woman who is having fun, they both say " Oh My God", the only difference is how they pronounce it.
— M.F. Moonzajer
This is a young man who is only 25, and you have to say, her has answered every question that has ever been asked.
— David Coleman
It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to.
— J.D. Salinger
It's fun to be able to have a fun palate, and the way I say that, you think about it and it sounds funny, but it's true.
— Joey Fatone
I love how people walk around with crucifixes, skullcaps, pointy hats, funny beards and then say 'you should keep your atheism to yourself.'
— Ricky Gervais
The funny thing is people won't let me pay for things. I'll be in a restaurant and the manager will say, 'Oh no, it's on the house.'
— Richard Branson
If Spiderman was real, and I was a criminal, and he shot me with his web, I would say, "Dude, thanks for the hammock."
— Mitch Hedberg
I won't say that you're pretty because that dog already did. And I won't say you're funny because you have had me laughing since I met you.
— Melissa Landers
Sites like Funny or Die and College Humor are great, but I'd say it's appealing to 80% men and 20% women.
— Zooey Deschanel
Ben walks in the room and asks, "What were you guys doing?" Nikki says "Nothing" at the same time I say, "Your sister and I were just makin' out.
— Simone Elkeles
Some people come up to me and say "You know, in Italy, it's pronounced Ber-beel-lia" And I say "Well, here in America, you're annoying ... "
— Mike Birbiglia
Someday you'll meet people who are actually on crack and you won't think that's a super funny thing to say.
— Patrick Stump
They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. I tried to make it at home. There's more to it than that.
— Mitch Hedberg
You could take Vicodin, step out of the house, onto a freeway, have a truck hit you, and you'd say "My Bad!".
— Bill Engvall
The whole thing reminds me of graduate school seminars, except these people are smart and funny and have something interesting to say.
— Sarah Vowell
It's all chop-change chop-change with you. Either go out with me and treat me nicely, or leave me alone. As I say, I am not interested in fuckwittage.
— Helen Fielding
You're not eating the cheese, Frank says accusingly. And you're fucking my mom, I want to say back.
— Lauren Barnholdt
Who's to say where funny stops and 'too far' starts?
— Michael Patrick King